I'm asking you all for a favor

cause see, here's the thing. The reason why I haven't been posting and such. The reason there hasn't been any nakedness, no sex posts, not even showing off my inner dorkiness the reason why is because I haven't had an original thought to save my boobs because of school. Yep, that dreaded six letter word. School. My (insert as many four letter words as you can string together *here*)senior project is due tomorrow. Here's the thing, it's not finished. I won't go into all of the reasons why because it will just sound all whiney and complainy and well, who wants to read that? But, I'm fried, burnt, crispy, fork in both butt cheeks, I am so done, burnt out. 130 credits in two year. 100. 30. credits. in. two. years. Who does that? Well, apparently this girl. This Party Girl, no less. (There's an oxymoron just screaming to be let loose in that statement.)
No problem on it not being finished. I can have the weekend. Alrighty. Then I go defend it next Thursday in front of the entire English department at 4:10 p.m. to be exact. Thirty+ pages on the (insert as many four letter words that can be strung together *here*) American Dream and also in terms of two books that I no longer care to reference.
Okay, so, here's what I need from all of you: I need you all to be my cheerleaders over the next couple days. I need you all to tell me I can do it. I need you all to tell me I have actually learned and retained something over the past 130 credits and two years and $50k spent with interest still multiplying times infinity for the next 20 years. I need you to tell me I can do it. I need you to tell me that this post isn't cheesy and sad and pathetic or point out all the errors and how much it doesn't make sense, or hold it against me in the months, years, and pitchers of beer and glasses of pink vodka to come. I am my worst critic, my toughest competition, my worst enemy. See, cause here's the thing, a little somethin'-somethin' about me: I don't ask for help. I don't admit that I'm freaking out about something until the problem has resolved itself, I don't admit I might not succeed or be able to follow through. I don't do that. No, no, no. The best motivation a person can unwittingly give me is to tell me I can't do something, that I'll fail. *Don't do that in this case* That will not motivate me. I think I would simply cave into defeat and say, "Yep. You're right. I suck." And I wouldn't be referring to my head giving abilities. Even now as I type this I think it's pathetic. But that's what blogdom is for, right? To rally the troops, to bitch, moan, whine, tell people things we don't tell to those around us, show body parts...? Yeah, that's what this is. So, yeah. Goooooooooooooooooooooooooo Team!


....I'll be better in a few days. I promise.

Exhale.

Oh, here's the best part: I can't even work on the bloomin' (*here*) paper on this (*here*) computer cause I forgot to (*here*) update my Word because I was on the trial- basis- free-until-I-have-to-buy-it-Microsoft Office, which expired today. Yahhhhh!

Ew, vodka.

Ew, sex toys.

Gotta go.