6:48 pm
That's the time my plane departed on Sunday for Brazil.
The plane I wasn't on, but still.
Around 6:50pm I went for a long walk.
Walking and thinking about all the reasons and all the whys and trying to figure it all out in a matter of miles.
Am I supposed to spend time with my parents for some reason?
Am I supposed to work with someone this summer and make a difference in one of their lives?
Am I supposed to do some sort of research this summer that will lead into a future job?
Was I supposed to have all of these problems with my visa and travel to pass on to someone else?
What about my micro class?
and on and on.
Then on my return trip from my walk, I realized, it took seven months of ignoring my inner voice that something was not right about my internship and my travel plans and three weeks of trying to sort out the ensuing mess; therefore, something tells me it is going to take a helluva lot longer than a walk to figure out the deeper meaning. So, stop trying to.
I, being me, had initially planned to: live with the 'rents for the summer, get a job at my old place of work, volunteer at the local AIDS project and also the local Planned Parenthood, work on my internship, and take my night class. All within eight weeks, mind you.
So far I have: moved home temporarily for the summer, gotten a job at my old place of work, checked into volunteering, but neither place currently needs volunteers, waiting for my internship to be re-approved, and taking my night class, finished one book, working on another.
Frankly, I'm thinking that working, class, internship: that's plenty for one person.
So, so far I have concluded that maybe, just maybe (naughty girls need love, too.) (Thanks, Samantha Fox.) that this summer is about taking care of me. Slowing down and enjoying some time. I've finished one book since Friday, well on my way to finishing a second. Today I went to the local library and brought an arm-full of books home with me. Right now, delving into all of them sounds like a near-perfect summer.
My Mama thinks I am supposed to take the summer to put together and write my book. Who knows.
The summer is full of possibilities and (currently) I have all the time in the world to figure it out. So, for once, I'm not in a rush. And maybe, that's all I'm supposed to get out of all this; to simply slow down and breathe.
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9 comments:
Summer's are good for that. And for drinking beer while watching baseball. Which neatly sums up my plans.
limpy: the driking beer part of my summer is covered (and the fall, winter, and spring) I had plans to cross some MLB teams off my list, but that depends on finances, but here's to hoping.
You nailed it: this was probably meant to be. Maybe this is supposed to be the summer where we turn back the clock a tad, and enjoy life again from a more youthful perspective.
As such, I'm on my way out the door to respond to that ad for a fully restored Camaro. Then it's a new leather jacket, cooler full of cold ones, and a road map to "Mama Party Girl's" house!
P: Ah, the days when all the boys had Camaros, were saving up for a Camaro, or where dreaming of owning a Camaro.
And the girls were dating a boy who drove a Camaro or were dreaming of dating a boy who owned a Camaro.
You know, back when life was simple because your parents told you what to do.
Thank you for pointing that out to yourself (so I didn't have to).
Now, deep breath in.......and slowly out. Page 1.
Pug forgets the part about growing out his mullett after getting the new Camaro.
I'm not sure where you live, but I can't imagine that you're not near some kind of minor league stadium. Those are great. Still baseball, really cheap tickets, (in our area $10 puts you behind the dugouts), and the beer and food bill doesn't require a second mortgage.
Tom: for the first time in a very long time, I have some creative sentences flowing through my head. Perhpaps in a few more days they will be flowing from my fingers. Like everything else in life, this too, is a process.
Limpy: OH, there is a minor league in parent city and up at small state u. I will absolutely make it to several of those.
Maybe not several here in parent city, but as I have several male friends selling beer up at small state u baseball diamond, I feel the need to help both with the supply and the demand for baseball and beer.
slowing down and breathing sounds nice.
Very, very nice.
ptg: It does. It really does.
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