how you livin'?

Karma, destiny, pre-destined, happenstance, haphazard. How do you live your life?

Me, I am a firm believer in karma. What comes around goes around. Big believer in that. Predestined? Um, not so much. The thought that my whole life has already been all planned out for me? It's too much to think that I don't have any control over path A or path B. Happenstance and haphazard, yeah, those are pretty much how I feel I live my life sometimes. I think I come off as very spontaneous and as if I don't think things through sometimes. Which, okay that's true, but mostly I think things through privately and then announce what I am doing which seems to be out of the blue. Sometimes I just have things that get stuck in my head and then I write them down. This post would be a case of that. (The popping and writing down thing.) Back in March (remember March? What a great month. Mr. London was leaving, my girl friend was secretly stalking Mr. London because, I have no idea why, friends stabbing me in the back, job falling through, school telling me I was one credit short of graduating...good month.) I kept having the date August 24 pop into my head. I finally wrote it down in my planner and wrote, "life will change for the better." in the date blank and that was that. Even up until yesterday I was having doubts about my psychic abilities. Well I'll be damned. I think life did just change for the better.

After a week of coming to terms with the quirks of my apartment, having a friend tell me he could no longer in good conscious be friends with me anymore because he is attracted to me, but dating someone else, going to all of my classes and meeting everyone in the program, but still feeling a bit lonely and misplaced at times the week has come to an end, and a wonderful end at that.

I received a call at 1:24 p.m. today wanting to know what my availability would be for a job I had applied for at 12:03 a.m. this morning. I told them and they quickly hung-up. At 1:28 p.m. I received another call and they wanted to know if I could come in at 2:00 p.m. for an interview. Ah, no. (hair was still wet, I wasn't dressed, and I wasn't sure where the building was.) What about 3? Ah, no. I have a meeting at 3:00. My mind is racing a gazillion miles an hour trying to figure out when and what I could do because I really want this incredibly low-paying, but high networking job. We decided on 4:00 and I will just leave my meeting early (it was a meeting for all of us grad students.)

The interview went magnificent and she (the director) ended the interview with, "I have one last interview on Monday at 8:30." A glance at the other applicant's paperwork and a look of irritation on her face about the prospect, "but I am very excited about you. You stay close to your phone."

Super score! I would be the assistant to the director of the Women's Studies program here at Semi-big U and it is exactly in my area of interest and what my undergrad minor was in. More importantly it is in an area I want to focus in when I am finished with my degree and I can do some serious networking and getting my foot in all the right doors.

The one friend I have here calls it, lesbian studies. He is super excited about all of the lesbians I will meet and he sees it as a way to speed up the process of making his birthday present come to fruition that much quicker (a threesome.) I see it as an excellent opportunity in the area of future employment and that whole, changing the world thing I am so fond of, but I'm guessing it isn't going to do much for the future dating prospects. (Of men. Or is it? You tell me.)

I had decided at the beginning of the week that I would celebrate the end of the week with a trip to the local pizza place in the middle of college central. I ordered the pizza, it was delivered to my door and all five cheeses were nicely melt together. After digging into the third piece (fourth piece) I came to the conclusion that what I was smacking my lips with was stoner food. Complete and total stoner food. I didn't have any pot, but the beer was super gooooood. (I was actively ignoring the brick in my stomach.)

After a particularly harsh Thursday night class (I have 24 papers due just in that one class. No need to re-read that Yes, 2-4. 24 papers for one class. Yay.) I stopped at a local non-mass-marketed-coffee shop. The gal working the counter was adorably cute, friendly, went on and on about the bracelets I was wearing and oogled them even more when I told her I had made them. Is it shallow that this totally made my week? The chocolate goodies I ate on the drive home totally made my night. Score on a cool non-cookie-cutter coffee shop with friendly adorable locals to talk with. The two middle-aged moms sitting at one of the tables knitting sold me on the place.

A neighbor knocking on my door and greeting me with an apology that was nicely phrased in a British accent and sporting a rock star faux-hawk asking if I had water, only to discover I did not; was a lovely pause in my morning. Having the mystery smell disappear from my bathroom once the water returned and stopped running red-brown was a most welcome unexpected development. (I realize that reads as if my water was always red-brown...ah, no. My apartment isn't that gross, it was that color when the water came back on and the pipes cleaned out. It is now the proper water color, which is none.)

Finding the local art store and discovering they have the proper art supplies to make my apartment even cooler, hipper, and more vibrant and alive with color makes the feeling of perpetual dusk that I actually live in bearable.

I am currently trying to talk myself out of going to get ice cream. One, I don't "need it." Two, I have to get dressed (I'm naked a lot.) (actually I'm in my "jammies") (which is naked....)(kidding.) Three, the brick is still in my belly and the ice cream will turn into a bigger brick...but I'm not sure I care about that. Yeah, it's more about having to get dressed. Jammies and nakedness in public needs to become more acceptable. I need to make that a goal.

So, did I win a million dollars? I wouldn't be writing this if I did. Did I meet the love of my life? Again I wouldn't be writing this if I had. Win a trip around the world? Again with the typing thing. No, none of those, but sometimes we have to think about all of the small things, lump them altogether, take them for their greater sum and realize life is pretty great when we focus on the good things and not the bad things. Here's to life changing for the better from here on out.

Oh, and hoping I get that incredibly low-paying, exceptionally high-networking job.