the same it true for men, as well.
Confidence, self-esteem. I don't care what a person looks like, if they have a great outlook on life and an amazing personality and the self-confidence to go with it, wow. Color me sold.
After spending a Saturday afternoon with a home full of women and where two of the women were having a pissing contest between them over who felt worse about themselves. Who was the fattest, ugliest, and who had the most things wrong with them, seriously, it had to be a Madison Ave. ad man's wet dream. Finally when my breaking point of listening to it all had reached its limit I told them that the next person who said something negative owed me $10. Amazingly enough, all negative comments ended.
Here's a news flash: I'm not perfect. Here's another news flash: I don't pretend to be. (most days) Here's one more news flash: I don't want to be perfect. Perfect, is boring. I'll take all my flaws, thanks.
However, if I spent my time thinking and talking about all of my flaws on any given day, well, hell, I wouldn't make it out of bed most days. Instead, I choose to ignore what I think needs to be fixed, or more likely, I choose to embrace it. And here's the thing, it's what I think is wrong. If I were to point out what I didn't like about me to any one of you, chances are it's something you'd never even notice. It's all of the invisible things that we see and we think they are flashing a huge neon green sign to the person looking at us that they in turn are thinking, "Oh my god! Look at her! How the hell did she manage to even get out of bed today looking like that?!?!" When in reality, chances are they don't even see it or they may be envious because of it, or they wish they had whatever it is that we hate and vice versa.
I just don't understand why we spend so much time hating ourselves and putting ourselves down.
Ew! EW! Wait! I know this answer, it's because we're told by all of the ads we see and hear and TV shows devoted to what is wrong with us and what we need to change that we see and therefore buy into it. Dr 90210, anyone? Or as I call them: my nose is huge, my eyelids are sagging and my boobs aren't nearly big enough, and I have a tiny lump o' fat in my ass, shows. Trust me, I can be a victim to this as well. So, again it comes down to society and images killing us. Killing oursleves and it's not softly. However, I think we do an amazing job of killing ourselves, our self-esteem, our self-image, our self-worth each and everytime we say something negative about ourselves or about someone else we kill ourselves. We kill a little bit about what is great and individual about each and every one of us each time we buy into it and frankly, I think it's ridiculous.
So, how about we all start wearing the sexiest thing a person can wear, our heads held high. Let's all stop buying into the Madison Ave. wet dream and start wearing all of flaws proudly.
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10 comments:
Amen. There's another reason I hold my head high in confidence. When I go for a walk, I'm sure to do this because I saw on Oprah that a person who looks down at the ground and avoids eye contact is more likely to be attacked. Makes sense.
As long as I can wear a hat. My hairline is receding LOL. Nice post - great message!
I shall now quote a passage that I read anytime I start to get depressed:
Living a Worthless Life.
When you are unhappy, you find yourself prone to feelings of envy and jealousy. When your own life seems worthless, you often look at someone else's life and want it for yourself. But remember, however much you might want his/her car, career, lover, or even good looks or intelligence, you would never, given the chance, choose to be that person. You would never choose to exchange souls, because your ego is fiercely bound to your defects and failings no matter how appalling they may be. Once you realize this--once you realize that no matter how worthless your life is, it's still the only one you would ever choose to have--you can begin to see yourself with new eyes.
"My life is worthless, but it is mine."
Cheers. :)
Dirty: That's one of many reasons why when I pass a stranger, I always smile and look them in the eye.
Baron: Please, make it a fedora. God, but I love a man in a fedora.
Jay: I've often said and asked when someone is jealous of another person or if someone is complaining about their problems, that if they took a roomful of people and everyone threw their problems up into the air, I bet each and everyone of those people who gladly catch their own over everyone else's.
Here's another issue I have: People who can't take a compliment.
The person, who when something nice is said to them, inturn put themselves down instead of simply saying, "thank you." and take the compliment.
AMEN. Oh Party girl, you seem to take the thoughts right out of my head and put them on paper...(computer screen whatever). I can remember a time when i spent so much time thinking I was so unnatractive i'm amazed I got anything done. I have since come to a place where I know exactly what I have to offer. It may not be the same things as those around me, but it just means mine are DIFFERENT and in NO way not as good.:) Oh yeah and I used to not take compliments. Now I give the biggest "thank you!" I can:)
I spend as much time as possible in my pajamas. I can't decide if this means I'm very well adjusted or very lazy.
But if I hold my head high, everyone will see my enormous Adam's apple!
Hst: Oh, why thank you! I think it's all a learning process and a, please dear lord, let us learn this before I die, type thing.
Joe: Eh, just a general, don't give a crap attitude. I'm all for those, I don't give a crap attitude in a general regular every weekend kind of way.
Limpy: Your 'Adam's apple' or your Adam's apple????
I totally agree. An assertive and self-confident woman is very attractive. Intelligent is an added bonus. Good looking women are also attractive, but if they don't have above qualities, their beauty fades quickly.
"Perfect, is boring"
That is so true! I can't like the perfect porcelain faces. There is got to be something asymmetric, some imperfection to make the face or body interesting. For example, I don't like Nicole Kidman. She is too perfect!
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