Sunday, August 03, 2008

rain check

Rain check is a baseball term. It originated back in the 1870s and was used when a game was canceled due to a rainstorm. The audience was given tickets, free of charge, to attend a game at a later date.

Fascinating, isn't it?

After attending a baseball game today, in what had to be tropical Sub-Sahara desert like conditions, (and no, I don't care that those contradict each other) I would have liked a rain check. Hell, just some rain. Or say, even a cool breeze would have been nice. Instead, my only comfort came from the bottle of beer between my breasteses. And, gee, that's really just counterproductive. Cold-ish cleavage, warm-ish beer. It's a lose-lose really.

The tropical condition was in terms of the brick wall-like humidity that I was slammed in the face with as soon as I left the house. Not to mention the suffocating, so glad I took a shower because that was completely unnecessary since I am now drenched in sweat and why do boobs and bras just seem to be reservoirs for moisture collection? Men, do your balls have this problem? I'm guessing they do, but I would like an answer on this. The heat was in terms of the ultraviolet rays of death that were rising from the sand, er field, to create parched I-want-to-die-or-crawl-up-inside-a-camel-and-drink-from-its-hump type conditions.

Baseball, good. Wilting, withering, and dying in the sun, bad.

That concludes today's lesson.

7 comments:

ZACK said...

Cool post! This is my first time through. Did you know that "soap operas" started as radio shows sponsored by detergent companies- hence the name "soap" opera?

Jay said...

To answer your question: YES, testicles have a tendency to accumulate moisture during moments of oppressive heat. Hence the phrase, "Sweating your balls off."

Here in Wisconsin, it is predicted that the hottest day of the year will be today, 96 degrees. Now I'm sure someone will read this and say, "Ninety six?! That's it?! It was 187 in Las Vegas last week!" This is true. The American southwest is warmer than the north midwest. But, Nevada never experiences 90%+ humidity! And we here in cheeseland are a chubby bunch. We don't do humidity well.

Well... at least I don't. :-)

puerileuwaite said...

Normally I wish I had a beer rather than wishing I were one. But not today. For today, I'd like to offer you a frosty bottle of "Pug Lager": an experience we can enjoy together.

Party Girl said...

Zach: Thanks for stopping by and yes, I did know that little factoid.

Jay: I will henceforth say, I am sweating my tits off. Sure, it's basically the same, yet oh-so-different.

Heat is one thing, humidity is another. Me no likey the humidity.

P: "Pug Lager, it's one stiff drink, that goes down smooth..."

Party Girl said...

oops...I meant Zack...sorry

limpy99 said...

As opposed to Limpy Lager, which goes down quick and stays there.

Did that come out right? Oh, who cares.

I once went to a Phillies game at the old, and incredibly ugly, stadium. My friends and I sat in the highest section, closest to the sun. No shade at all. The temperature at game time was said to be 106. The temeprature coming off the artifical turf was allegedly 120, although I'm not sure if I believe that.

But at least it was a dry heat.

The point being, if there's a baseball game, and beer, and some cool people to hang out with, I'll put up with pretty much anything.

limpy99 said...

Oh, and Jay's right. testicles sweat like there's no tomorrow.