Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I'm sorry, is that English your speaking?

Ok, being the single gal that I am I have done the internet dating thing. I am also currently doing the internet dating thing against my better judgement.
I am a big fan of dating and getting to meet and know new people.
I am also a big fan of the English language.
With that I will say, for the love of god and for the safety of my brain and eyes please, please (really, please) do not (do NOT) use abbreviations when writing, emailing, IM'ing, or in your profile. I will think you are an idiot and move on. It will literally offend my brain and eyes.

Here is a sample of what I mean. This is an actual email I received.
The email is entitled: u

i am looking 4 sum 1 like u i am self employeed and i hate to type.

Wow. Catchy and attention grabbing isn't it. Makes me feel all tingly and fuzzy inside. Also, notice the lack of punctuation of any kind.

I decided to give him another shot.
I basically said, hey thanks. Sorry you hate to type, but since this is the only way I feel comfortable communicating with you for now, could you indulge me?

His response:
sure baby i can type u r what i am looking 4 what do u want 2 know

Wow. Again. Need I say more?

I decided I learned all I needed to and didn't respond back.

I understand that typing, not a big fan. Um, then don't be an internet dater. How the hell do you think this works?
If I send you a lengthy email, please try to respond back in a way that shows you read the email and ask some questions in regards to it.
Please, I don't expect you to be an expert when it comes to grammar. Hell, I'm an English major and I'm not an expert. However, PLEASE! Don't abbreviate, I'm in a hurry too. Learn to type faster.

true intimacy

Some might say that sex is true intimacy. I would point and laugh at them and say, sex is easy, so is being naked in front of someone. Sex isn't true intimacy.
True intimacy comes when two people can sit with their clothes on and have an intimate and stimulating conversation about anything and everything and not worry about what the other person might think of them in return.
To have an open, honest, frank, no holds barred conversation about your dreams, fears, hopes and tears with someone and be honest about all of it. Where every last breath, sentence and period of the conversation is honest, that is when true intimacy happens. When two people can be judgement free with eash other, share their fantasies whether they be sexual or professional or just plain 'ol ridiculous and not have the other person laugh at them, that is true intimacy.
I love sex, but I will be the first to admit that picking up a stranger, or having sex with someone that you either have a connection with or one that you don't, sex is easy. Being naked is a piece of cake. You're not bareing anything other than your flesh.
To have the mind fuck with someone, that is intimacy, that is what is sexy. That is sexy beyond words.
That is what I need, what I am looking for, the mind fuck. I need my mind stimulated first and foremost. If a person can stimulate my mind then everything else will come naturally.
If someone can be open and honest with me and actually knows how to have a conversation because my god, the art of conversation is proving to be dead, then the most unattractive man in the room will suddenly become the most handsome thing I ever did lay my eyes on.
I am looking for someone who is single, emotionally available, and who can stimulate my mind. The mind fuck is so sexy. The mind fuck is true intimacy.

Monday, November 28, 2005

an invitation to a party

SO, this guy who I am "dating" (we are dating, but it is not exclusive and it's long distance so I use the term losely) invited me to a swingers party. I knew the invitation was simply a matter of time and I wasn't surprised at all by the invite. We are of like mind and have the same sexual appetite. However, I have never swung as a couple. I have only gone to swingers clubs and parties as a single. Which, to be a single swinger is such an oxymoron, isn't that just a typical Saturday night? Anyway, my main hesitiation, or really my only hesitiation, was that I had never done this with someone I knew, it was always me and who ever else joined in. I have had some bad experiences when it comes to open relationships, or when dating someone and they state they don't care what I do, go have fun they say, which always ends badly because they always cared.
So, based on past experience I declined the invite. He understood and promised to beg me until I accept the invite. I promised to keep considering it.

So here is my question: do you swing? Have you thought about it? Why did you or didn't you go through with it. And did you do it as a single or as a couple?

did someone say party?

See I am a party girl. I am the definition of a party girl. Even when I don't feel like going out, I can easily be talked into it. Usually something so persuasive as, "Hey, you wanna go out tonight?" Which is followed with, "Um, Okay." See, some serious arm twisting there.
I need to stress the fact that I am a very safe party girl. I am safe with my life, with friends, with alcohol and with sex. This is a no brainer. I love my life. I love myself. I respect myself. Wrap that bad boy up.
On this blog I hope to have an open and honest conversation about sex and the single life. Kind of a sex and the single gal circa 2005. Well, almost 2006.
Some of the posts will be light-hearted and some will ask the big questions and ask some tough questions.
Also, I should point out that I have almost all male friends so a lot of these posts might be me trying to get a wider range of opinions based on a conversation I had with one of these friends.
Most of all though I hope to have fun and I hope to get several insights on the same thing and I want to know that I am not the only one going on bad dates, having odd sex, great sex and sex that should be celebrated and written about.