Thursday, November 01, 2007

Happy Halloween!

...and November 1st.
Good gravy it has just flown by.

Okay, last night was awesome fun and today came mighty early. I hear that happens when a person doesn't get to bed before 3 and their alarm goes off at 7:22. Just a rumor I heard, but I am hear to tell you, it's true. True that was me last night and true that it comes early.

Also, when you go to a dive bar as your last stop and you order a vodka cranberry; top shelf, middle shelf, bottom shelf, or no shelf, sink water. Which one do you think I ended up with?
If you guessed a combination of no shelf mixed with sink and a dash of cranberry, well you would be right.
I said it tasted like Ritz crackers with fake cheese. The two other people who sipped the drink didn't get that.
Okay fine. How about just the fake cheese part?
No.
Fine.
How about I couldn't even stomach it and the drink was not drunken. (I may have been drunken, but the drink was not.) I've brushed, flossed, and rinsed twice since last night and I still can't get the taste of the last drink out of my mouth. Oh yeah. Tasty.
Oh yeah. No stomach lining.
Wait, that makes it sound like I've thrown-up.
I haven't. I am a professional.
I do need some coffee.
And some bread.
And a cookie.
(To wake me up.)
(To absorb.)
(For the sugar. And the Halloween sugar cookies they had on campus yesterday were awesome.)
Oh, and some grease.
(Just because. A hamburger is always a good thing.)

Our group costume was awesome. We were the Publisher's Clearinghouse Prize Patrol.
Oh yeah. Blue blazers, white shirts (that did not fit so well. Way big) and khakis. We either looked like we were trying to sell you a home or we looked like Mormons. I figured since we didn't have on backpacks no one would think we were trying to get them into Heaven. Luckily we also had on name tags to erase any confusion before it could start.
I would run up to the lucky winner, we would hand them the big fake check which was made out for $500 million, thousand dollars and fifty-six and half cents. (Any guesses whose idea that was?) They were then given red, white, and blue flowers, black balloons, a microphone shoved in their face that looked like a dildo (not intentionally) (no, really.)(yes, the microphone was mine. Toilet paper roll, with tissue still on it, and a paper mache' egg glued to the top which I Sharpied.) and I took their picture.
I now have a bunch of pictures of drunk people who I don't know.
But it was big fun.
We should have won the contest we entered; the owner, and the crowd said so, but alas, we were beat-out by a slutty Little Red Riding Hood and her Wolf. Sad, but true.

It was awesome and it just proves why I love Halloween so much.
Because it's awesome.
Duh.

9 comments:

limpy99 said...

Now if you'd gone as a slutty Publsher's Clearinghouse Prize Patrol, you'd have won going away.

That's an awesome idea that I'll be stealing, except for the dildo.

Party Girl said...

It was a pretty awesome costume.
Just sayin'.

The microphone impersonating a dildo, well that was simply a designing error on my part.

I was going to use a toilet paper roll and a light bulb held together with duct tape, but I thought the light bulb might become a hazard by the end of the night.
So I went the safe route with the paper mache' egg.
$.36 was the total cost.
Can't beat that with a stick.
Or a toilet paper roll.

Appletini said...

That sounds sooo cool!

You should have won the contest. It is so much more original than that little red riding hood and her wolf...even though that is what my man and I dressed up as last night. But I wasn't that slutty ;p

GirlGoyle said...

Slutty costumes are becoming annoying. I thought Halloween was about scary costumes instead they have given way to more and more skin. Shouldn't we start to call it Carnival as opposed to Halloween??

HST said...

I'm going as a gamer.......um. not much that is less slutty than that.

ptg said...

Costume sounds awesome.

I personally SUCK at Halloween. I've never been good at finding a costume or dressing up as someone, so I abolish the holiday in total. Sure, I'll give out candy every once in a while (living in a condo, no trick-or-treaters here!), but otherwise, nope...I am just not that inventive or creative.

Oh! The other thing - in college we SWORE that a huge greasy cheeseburger was the best hangover/drunk remedy. And every time, it worked. Just sayin'.

Party Girl said...

Apple: Ah, you and your wolf robbed us! I knew it!

GG: I don't mind the sluttiness as long as there is a point to the costume. Are you an actual character of some kind or....

The other two gals were really annoyed with all of the trash, I didn't care so much. To each their own.

HST: AS in a video gamer?

PTG: Some years I'm better at ideas than others.

as for the hangover crue: grease. I need the hamburger, fries, and pop. Absorb, replenish with salt, and the sugar from the pop. Ta dah!
I swear by it. Sadly, my favorite fast food joint is only local to back home. Sad. It is the best slurpiness in a bag that can be had.

Party Girl said...

..that should read: hangover cure...not crue.
..although sometimes it takes a crue.

Bre said...

Yum, greasy food is always the best on a day after... well, second best - cold General Tso's chicken is my ultimate cure all.