Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Bitter, party of one. Bitter, party of one.

Brazil, I won't be going.

The end.



Oh, did you want to know the story?

After copious amounts of time, money, energy, and time, being denied several times on the visa front, choosing between graduating or not graduating; I choose graduating, but really, it was decided for me.

I really think I lucked out on not going to Brazil. I really think I was simply not meant to go. For whatever reason, Brazil is not were I am supposed to be. It also turns out the director of the org I am interning with is now not going either. She gave me reasons, but I have a feeling the fact I am not going does not factor into it. So, I would have been seriously SOL without here there. She also mentioned as one of her reasons for not going "that it is a high crime area and she did not want to make herself vulnerable..."
Excuse me, we were going to be in the same area, so, wouldn't that have made me vulnerable????

Yeah. Not happy with her, but unfortunately I do not have a choice, I need my internship to approved with her, otherwise I am super, super, duper SOL in many ways.

I was not allowed into the class I need this fall, even though the interim advisor said it would be fine for me to audit the class. So, now I need to retake micro this summer. I am very bitter about this. Oh well.

So, I am in home state for the next seven weeks, staying with the 'rents to save money and will be picking up a job and working on my internship, counting down the days until the micro class is over, but yet, not wishing my life away.

I've cycled through the emotions. Been stuck on bitter. Haven't cried. This scares me a bit.

So, that's it. Hope and dreams in one hand, the other hand smashing it to bits.

But, there's a reason for everyth..blah, blah, blah.....

Oh, as a result of all of this, a distant cousin who is working in Mozambique requested my resume.
She works in Mozambique, which means I would be working in Mozambique. So, there you go.
Who knows, right?


ptg said...

Ugh...I am so sorry to hear about Brazil, I know how much you wanted to go. And in a way, it's good that you're stuck on bitter, because of it was me I'd be stuck on hella angry. Which, if said fast enough, becomes hellangry, or hellgry, which sounds a lot like hungry, or Hungary, which is a totally different country that isn't as exciting as Brazil.

So there you go.

Tom Serafini, Actor to the Stars! said...

One door know the rest. Eyes up, chest out, heart open, go.

Oh and if you do decide on a New York jaunt, I'm always good for a cheesburger. As is Trace.

Party Girl said...

ptg: oh, there was one really, really good day of anger and a few more of decent anger and many more filled with bitterness.

Bitterness has subsided. Still haven't cried. Still not happy at all about it and still very not happy about the fact that I need my internship with her.

tom: I would love to make my way back to NYC. I also wouldn't be surprised if I move there after school, so, we'll have lunch. And drinks.

I also know that this was for the best.

Okay...that's what I keep telling myself and I am sure by the end of the summer I will.

I am also already planning my next trip. To somewhere.

limpy99 said...

I would go to Mozambique before I went back to Disney.

Party Girl said...

Limpy: well, they are both Third World countries.

puerileuwaite said...

Just a momentary set-back for sure. Party Girl will prevail!

If it's any consolation, I've tangled with one too many former-Nazis in Brazil. Turns out that you really can't trust ANY of the dentists down there.