Sunday, July 13, 2008

so a girl walks into a bar

...After work or, volunteering, on Thursday I was feeling so amazingly awesome.
I made a suggestion about adding some items to my project.

They loved the suggeston, great idea, duh, of course, add that and run with it.

*pat on my back*

Leave work feeling amazing.

I walk around downtown and after some light perusing of the shops I went to the local watering establishment.
Saddle myself up to the bar, order a beer, stare at the muted TV, I had no plans to talk to anyone in the bar; I was simply there for a drink.

Two beers later, the guy two stools down and I start to talk. The basis bs banter: what do you do, blah, blah, blah. What do you do, blah, blah, blah.
Long story short: he told me human rights is bullshit, I'm wasting my time, I was talking about some of the stupidest shit he had ever heard of, why do we care about Darfur? (to which I pointed out that we don't care about Darfur because they do not possess any resources that we care to take, thus we are happy to not interfer in their genocide) just let them kill themselves. Somehow Iraq was mentioned, to which I asked if he wanted to debate over a fake war...he told me that white men need human rights protection more than anyone else..I sarcastically said, you mean because of affirmative action?
YES!
Oh, I was being sarcastic.

For the record, according to him, women absolutely do not deserve human rights protection, nor minorities, but perhaps, the disabled do.

Now.
He was VERY upset and VERY defensive about my life passion, that is apparently stupid-ass-bullshit (good to know.) I told him that I would not continue talking to him if he continued to yell, demean, and belittle me. He also needed to stop yelling. He apologized for making me mad. He did not, nor was he, making me mad. However, I would not be belittled.

He continued to belittle.

Using phrases such as: (human rights deal with) stupidest ass shit, (I am)waste of time, (I was talking about some of the) stupidest fucking things he ever heard of. And then my favorite: affirmative action: denied him acceptance to the first college he ever attended.
Really, affirmative action denied you acceptance to the first college you ever attended? That's amazing.
I asked if he could prove that. (the affirmative action, part)
No, but he also couldn't prove that it wasn't true.
Wow. That's an amazing argument.

This story ends with me telling him I would no longer speak with him, and turning to the muted TV. He continued to try and apologize for making me mad. (I wasn't mad. He was clearly a dumb-ass. I talk to enough dumb-ass people, no need to talk to one in a bar.) I ignored him. He left. I stayed.

I had a lovely conversation with the female bartender and I ordered another beer.

In the course of speaking with her, another gentleman came in and sat down next to me. We had a lovely conversation and as he heard me speaking with the bartender, he told me it would be pretty hard to be against human rights. I told him I was glad to hear he was preserving the human race.

New Guy and I had a nice conversation, but (oh, c'mon, you knew it was coming) when he asked if I went to local private college and I said, no, I go to Small State U, the flicker in his eye went out and I knew the lovely conversation would not lead anywhere.

This leads to the two middle-aged, upper-middle class men at the end of the bar who had been trying to flirt with me all night, but the visible wedding rings and the talking of kids, put an end to that.
However, in the course of me sitting at the bar, ordering, and buying my own drinks, they proceeded to mention what kind of woman comes into a bar by herself.

I'll cut to the chase.

According to them: that women is only there to be picked-up and to have drinks bought for her. "I mean, look at her (my) body language, look how she's dressed..." (stylish, yet conservative. Skirt that hit my knee, no cleavage, dress sweater over my dressy tank-top, hair was pulled up.) "... only a desperate women would be in here by herself..."
This went on and on.
Until I pointed out to them that I paid for my own drinks, and I even turned a drink down from the second gentleman.

..they shut-up.

However, by this point my rock star attitude that I had a mear four hours before when I walked into the bar, was gone by the time I walked out of the bar.

I hate when people have that power. No, I hate when I give people that power.

However, on another note. I've dealt with too many jerks. There's a good man out there somewhere for me, right? Somewhere out there soon, would be even better. Cause, this Party Girl is getting mighty tired of it all.

Also, this isn't the first time I've encountered men who have felt threatened/intimiated by a single woman, alone, in a bar; why? I do not understand this.
Insights?

8 comments:

Tom Serafini, Actor to the Stars! said...

You silly silly Girl. There is a faith inside you that enough years and proximity to millions of selfish greedy needy infantile people beat out of you so I apologize in advance for the following if it offends: Men are babies. They are insecure, competitive, foolish, whiny, think they are indestructible and think the world should think as much of them as their mothers do. At least that's how it looks in my line of work.

Also, in this new world where we are slowly having to come to grips with the fact that there is a rest of the world and its slowly overtaking us. Makes us a bit unsteady on our feeties. Hard to care about nameless faceless people on the other side of a globe that makes us feel increasingly insignificant. Also, being selfish and spoiled, why should we care about Darfur or floods or earthquakes when we have to fill our SUVs with gas that now costs almost five bucks?

Just spitting out what I've been observing in the race lately. How nice would it be if the powers in power cared about the people, not just the people within there borders but all people, all over. But - as with religion and politics, we're right and you're wrong and that means you have to go cos god said we're better than you. So sorry.

Human nature makes it that way and we perpetuate it every single day. Just shut up and fight your fight and make your version of the world a little better. Its all any of us can do.

Not too negative, eh?

Nick said...

As any good economist will tell (and I'm not one of them)... when you pay for something, you tend to get more of it.

So if those guys are really that bothered with the idea of women just being in a bar to have drinks bought for them, then they ought to stop buying them for women.

Either that, or go home to the wife and kids and shut up. This isn't a difficult concept folks.

Party Girl said...

tom: Calling men babies, naw, you're lying.

I have learned that men have a weak ego that needs constant stroking. I am happy to stroke that ego when I am with that man, not when I am not.

I also like how I am supposed to shut-up and go fight my fight. How does one do that when ones mouth is closed?
=0)

Nick: Exactly!
If you don't want to buy me a drink, then don't. If you do, then fine, but that does not mean a bought drink entitles a person to anything...anything at all.

limpy99 said...

Ah, bar debates. Reaffirming my faith in literacy tests at voting stations.

Seriously, where do you find these people? Never mind, I already know them. I see them at my local watering holes. Shabbily dressed, leaning into those parts of the bar where their elbows have actually worn a groove over the years. Trading stories with each other about who has more problems, what's wrong with the world and how they could solve it in two minutes if they were in charge.

Interestingly, solving most of the world's problems involves "bombing them towel-heads", although when you point out that many people wear turbans, and in fact, prefer NOT to be called towel-heads, you're greeted with a blank stare and perhaps, when your back is turned, a muttered "fuckin' knowitall", as yet again their life has failed to turn out how they expected and the only thing left to do is order another Bud Light and see if the purty thang at the other end of the bar might be impressed by your propsed solution to Iraq and if so, if you can parlay that into seeing her tits.

That's why I avoid those people and will only argue about whether or not we're going to watch the Yankees game or a NASCAR race on the TV. Because I will gladly walk out into the back alley with someone if it means I don't have to watch NASCAR.

puerileuwaite said...

Those idiots obviously didn't attend my seminar on how to pick up women in bars.

Of course I wouldn't know either, as I've been to busy devoting my life to constructing the seminar.

Party Girl said...

Limpy: the world according to PG: if there is an idiot, I will find them, anywhere, everytime.

If there is trouble or commotion to be made, I will be the target even though I had nothing to do with it.

There is no Murphy's Law, there is only PG Law.

P: I need your business card to hand out with me the next time. I'm thinking "next time" with be tomorrow.
I am having a hard time of it lately. so, you know, I'm going to go to a bar, that seems to solve all my problems.

ptg said...

People are idiots. I've come to this realization more and more these days, and the idiot part comes from the fact that we believe EVERYONE wants our opinion on things, even when we don't ask.

Your opinion on my major? Don't care, didn't ask.

Your opinion on where I go to school? Don't care, didn't ask.

Your opinion on why I'm here? Don't care, didn't ask.

But for whatever reason, we continue to do it, and that's why we coined the term asshole. Because only shit comes out of it, and no one cares.

GirlGoyle said...

Losers are everywhere and they seem to lurk in groups in bars. I can't believe you even entertained that long of a conversation with guy #1. As soon as he was bashing human rights I would've left....who needs those opinions? Sheesh!