Monday, June 04, 2007

deep like a puddle

Saturday night I went out to dinner with a co-worker. It was a very nice dinner in an up-scale establishment. However, the night ended too early for me and I decided to hit a few bars on my way home for a few more cocktails.

Bar number one I've been to a few times, but apparently on Saturday night it turns into a dance club. A country dance club. A place where they take their yee-haws and line dancing seriously. I could not take it seriously. I could only sit at the bar and be embarrassed for those who were taking it seriously. One cocktail down and I was out the door.

Bar number two is a small (blue-collar, neighborhood) establishment. I walk in and find an empty spot at the bar and order a drink. In the course of sipping my beverage I take a gander around the place. I am one out of four females in the place. Two of the other females are the bartenders and the third woman is married and not on the slim or attractive side. I suddenly feel very watched. But, I can deal with this. Just let me drink my beverage and enjoy the night.

...

..

(Sigh)

The man to my left moves a bar stool away from me as soon as I sit down (I must have cooties.) I turn and smile at him and I go back to my beverage. Several minutes later I still feel his eyes on me (creepy.) I again, turn and smile at him and go back to my beverage.
Several minutes later he turns to me and says, "I need to tell you that you are a very attractive woman and you have amazing eyebrows. But I have a girlfriend" Only he says it like this, "IneedtotellyouthatyouareaveryattractivewomanandyouhaveamazingeyebrowsbutIhaveagirlfriend." and then like Flash Gordon, he is gone (zoom!)

Um. Thanks.

Then I have a man to my right who is trying to make conversation with me. I am trying to ignore him. Why? Because the conversation is very one-sided (his) and he is drunk (very.)

New man to my left is also talking to me. Conversation is better, but still one-sided (his) and he is not drunk (yet.)

I now have my back to the drunk man, but he isn't getting my subtly as he keeps pinching my elbow and poking my arm (that's the way to make friends and influence people) to get me to turn back to him. I (politely) answer his questions then (subtly) turn my back on him.
New man is engaging me in conversation (his) and buying me drinks (yah!) Drunk man pinches my elbow one last time (it's like a bad tennis match) and asks if he can take me to dinner this week. I (politely) tell him no. He (drunkenly, complete with slurred and pronounced speech) asks why. I tell him because he is very (sloppy) drunk and chances are he won't remember who I am or that we even had this conversation in the morning, so thank you, but I am going to have to say no. He (slurriedly) refutes my claim that he won't remember this conversation in the morning, but doesn't refute the claim that he is drunk. He then continues to talk to me while my back is turned and I have stopped trying to be subtle. (Mean? Perhaps. But do you blame me?)

New guy is at least not drunk, but keeps pointing out how talkative he is and how he is ruling the conversation. Yet he doesn't let me get a word in nor does he offer any questions to me. In fact he didn't even ask me my name until we were hopping off our bar stools and walking out the door. After the bar closes I thank him for the drink and I shake his hand good-bye in the parking lot. (Polite.)

On my way home I stop at the local Gas and Sip for a greasy hot dog (Never, ever a good idea.) I notice one of the men outside the doors, as one of the gentleman I spoke to briefly in the bar (I would have liked to actually speak with him, but drunk man and talky man made that impossible.) As I get out of my car he asks if I am following him. I tell him I thought he was waiting for me. A few more flirts as I walk inside. I buy the (never, ever a good idea hot dog) and leave. A few more flirts later and I get in my car and I leave him with a wink and a smile as a good-bye.

That was the highlight of my evening.

God damn I miss Greece.

8 comments:

Bre said...

Yuck - guys like that at the bar are the worst thing ever! I'm glad you escaped unscathed :)

limpy99 said...

I met my wife in bar under similar circumstances. She couldn't get away from two guys who were drunk and chatting her up.

So I took her away.

But not for geasy hot dogs, because you're right, those are never, ever, a good idea.

Party Girl said...

Bre: Apparently my body language, which I felt was screaming and silently dying, was not as apparent as I would have liked it to be.

Limpy: So your telling me my prince in shining armor was standing in a sweatshirt hoodie along side his motorcycle outside the Gas and Sip at 2a.m.?

Damn. Now you tell me. Where were you at bar time on Satuday night?

HST said...

ok, i haven't had a chance to catch up on all your posts yet (work kills my soul at the moment) but I just wanted to take a moment to say "yah! I'm glad you're back and I can't wait to read all your stuff!"

limpy99 said...

I was winding down a poker game at that time. Not a profitable one either.

GirlGoyle said...

Well I think you did great! I never get approached at a bar. My brother says that it's cuz I (unknowingly) wear a big neon sign that says "phuck off or die". Might need to hone in on the "polite" signals. :)

Party Girl said...

Hst: thanks. It has been awhile. Good to see you as well.

Limpy: So, what you're telling me is that you could have been there to help me out.

GG: I think sometimes I have the same sign. Sometimes.

I've just gotten tired of sligning the bs back at them. Time for honest, polite, honesty....it seems to work and they seem to appreciate it.

limpy99 said...

Would've saved me some cash anyway.

Probably.