The day of giving thanks is next week and as is tradition and keeping with gender role stereotypes I was talking with my mama about what I would be bringing, what time I will show up to help and more importantly what I would like at the Turkey Day table.
PG: Vodka.
Mama: You can't have just vodka.
PG: Yeah I can.
Mama: You don't want anything else but vodka. (It wasn't really said as a question. More of a statement really.)
PG: Nope.
Mama: Any particular kind you would like me to get?
PG: Stoli. Not Skol(i). (There was a mix-up last year Turkey Day. An emergency trip to the grocery store was called for. Let's see, five dollar vodka, twenty dollar vodka.)
Mama: Okay. Vodka.
Conversation today:
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah......
Mama: So, the only thing you want is, vodka, you don't want me to fix anything else for you?
PG: Nope. Just vodka.
Mama: Any kind of mixers....anything...?
PG: Hmm, no. Well, cranberry juice. Good for the urinary system, good for the continuous vodka drinking.
Mama: Okay. Vodka it is.
I love my mama. Our level of communication needs no explanation.
Last night at the bar:
Before the Cute Waitress Girl could even say, 'Hi, my name is.."
PG: I'll take a double vodka cranberry.
Two drinks later and not liking the level of redness in my beverage.
PG: Hi, are you sure this is a double?
Cute Waitress Girl: Yeah, does it not taste like it?
PG: No. Too red. I want it to be pink. Strong. I want to take one drink and say, "Oh, hello. My name is, Drunk."
CWG: No, problem. I'll get you some more vodka.
One over-flowing shot glass later....
CWG: How's that tasting?
PG: Ooohhh, much better. See, it's pink. Not red. That's what I want. Not red. Pink.
Three doubles later with a total of 7 shots of vodka, yeah. I was feeling much better.
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14 comments:
Were you feeling ANYTHING at that point? :-)
Boy do I wish I actually knew you. And I wish it was about 10 years ago when I was still single and going out on more or less regular basis. You would've been a blast to hang out with. I mean, I'm sure you still are, I'm just a lot lamer now.
Jay: Sadly, remarkably, mysteriously...Yes.
My level of tolerance is; sadly, remarkably, not very mysteriously, rather high.
Some might say this is a problem. I say, my only problem is when it takes the bartender longer than 5 minutes to fill my drink.
GG: Yeah. I like pink. It's a good color in me.
No, wait...
oh, no, that's right.
Ph: ah, I bet you're still a lot of fun to be around.
Plus, I have a way of making everyone/anything fun and a laugh a minute.
I've actually thought about having a blog get together to have a chance of meeting everyone.
You know, when my schedule doesn't suck and when I have money.
So, not for awhile then, but I still like the idea.
I like the idea too. Keep me posted. Then you can say to me, "Boy, you really are as lame as you said. Your wife is pretty cool though."
Why does alcohol go so well with family get-togethers?
Oh, nevermind. Now I remember.
Because it's the only way I can tolerate being in the same place with them!
Ph: I will keep you posted.
I doubt the word, "lame" will be said.
Would I have you as one of my daily flirts if I thought you were lame?
I think not.
P: Last year we introduced alcohol into our Turkey Day.
Wow.
We ate over 3 hours later than scheduled.
We ate dessert first cause the bird wouldn't pop.
Everything, except the stuffing because we kept adding sticks of butter to it, was burnt, dried out, or liquified.
I kept playing bartender.
We kept drinking.
The bird, when it finally popped, was dee-lish.
We all ('rents included) agreed it was the best family get together, ever!!!
I hope for a repeat this year.
She's right you know....you just can't have vodka. ;)
Steve~
Do you want that vodka in a glass this Thanksgiving, or will an IV drip be sufficient?
Ah yes. Thanksgiving.
A time to sit with family and reflect upon the sacrifices of our forefathers -- the Russians.
How many Bolshevics went blind before they got the recipe just right?
Man, those were hard times.
I'm thinking he pink elephants were abundant following that escapade.
Nice pic, btw.
THE, not HE pink elephants...sheesh.
Steve: Really? Are you sure? What if I alternate between fermented potatoes and the mashed ones??
Limpy: Oh, that'd be great, thanks. So much easier than getting up to make a new drink each time.
Thanks for the tip.
OMC: Yeah. Something about boats, rocks, Indians, blankets purposely contaminated with the flu and small pox, no, that's my land not your land ...Yeah! Let's celebrate our success with turkey, cranberries, dried bread, and potatoes!!! Yah!!
Bunny: Lots of pink elephants. Lots of them.
of course you need cranberry juice, every meal needs a condiment. hot dogs need ketchup, burgers need lettuce and tomatoe, soup needs crackers, and vodka needs cranberry. it just makes it vodkier
Vodka for Thanksgiving. Good times. She probalby thought you meant to double both the vodka and the cranberry instead of just the vodka. Cheers.
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