Wednesday, April 09, 2008

inner dork: the merkin

Again, my most humble dorking apologies that the dorkness has been missing from this blog. I will try to better. I will try, no promises beyond that.

Okay, the merkin:

Did you know, The merkin is a pubic wig. It was orginally worn by prostitutes who had to shave their pubes due to lice or to disguise the fact that they were suffering from syphilis. The term dates back to approximately 1450.

I know! A pube wig, yet another fashionable accessory.

12 comments:

limpy99 said...

I imagine the Brazilian has pretty much curtailed the merkin market.

There's an idea for a store: Merkin-Mart!

puerileuwaite said...

I like the concept. A gal can have different merkins, so there's lots of variety.

I like Limpy's store idea, but I recommend that we call it "V-Mart".

Party Girl said...

How about Beavermart?

GirlGoyle said...

I was gonna ask exactly how it stays on....but then I don't want to know. It just isn't right! Guess back then the Brazilian wasn't in style huh?

BlossomingWallFlower said...

Hi PG!

Just a shy person enamored of a party girl from work who's likewise attracted to me. Thought I might try communicating with others like her to get a feel for an unfamiliar lifestyle.

Congratulations on your new prospect btw.

Seeya!

Old Man Crowder said...

It would definitely be a self-perpetuating business.

Buy a merkin because you want to hide the syphilis. Pass your disease around, and then they, too, will come in for a merkin!

Cha-ching!!

(or should that be "it-ching"?)

Jay said...

I enjoy a shaved kitty too much to find such a product useful. Personal preference, I guess.

Party Girl said...

wallflower: I hope I can help in some way, but more than that I also hope you get the girl.

OMC: I KNOW!!!! That was my thinking as well.

Jay: I agree. When I'm all nice and shaved I like to pet myself, let alone when someone else gets the chance.

BlossomingWallFlower said...

PG: Thanks for answering. :)

I don't think it'd be tough to hook up with her. She obviously likes me too and everybody in the office is "secretly" plotting to get us together, including my female boss.

The problem is I don't wanna hook up, I want to connect spiritually. Also, even though I'm considerably older, I'm not NEARLY as experienced as she is so it's tough to tell what she wants from me.

I will say this though: while you and she have a lot in common (intelligent, sexy, fun-loving), she-- UNLIKE you-- is NOT honest/forthcoming about her past or even her present. Truthfully, I could be wrong, but I'm almost certain she's a player and a seasoned heartbreaker. Her friends keep assuring me she's a total good girl type, but too many things just don't add up. Meanwhile, her eyes and even the sound of her voice put butterflies in my stomach ALL DAY LONG.

PLEASE HELP!!

Jay: Is it weird that I like to shave myself...?

"Besides man it makes your johnson look totally bigger."

"Please!... Are those my scissors??? Dude I trim nose hairs with those!!!"

"Dude, I been trimmin my ass hairs with those for like six months..."

I can't believe I'm the first person geeky enough to quote this given the subject matter... ;p

Party Girl said...

Wallflower: Hmmm, so many things to answer, tell, and ponder over all at once.

First: listen to your gut, if things aren't adding up, try and figure out why. Is she gaurded, or is she a liar? In other words, are things not adding up because she doesn't feel comfortable disclosing things to those she isn't close with, or is she lying about who she really is?

For example: Ask me a direct question, I'll answer it. Direct questions are hard to hmm and haaa around (for me anyway) obviously, some things I won't answer if I don't know a person well or if I feel it's none of your business; but I doubt you would ask anything in that realm.

If you feel she is a seasoned player and heartbreaker, but her friends are saying otherwise, find out from her which one is true. Try to get her alone; ala out for drinks or dinner, coffee, or just a walk to her car after work or in the breakroom. Make it casual and pressure free and something just as friends. Friends is much less pressure than a date and much easier to be yourself and not feel the need to impress.
I understand you want to connect more with her, but friends don't have an agenda the way a date does. If she does date a lot, then a date has the expectation of hooking-up, ect.

I am a party girl, absolutely. I also date a lot, but do I sleep around a lot? Well, that's subjective, I don't think so, but someone else might.
In other words, does she really hook-up a lot, or does she go on a lot of dates, but they don't lead into anything? Does she just like to go out and be the life of the party, or is she really a heartbreaker?
Make sense?

I am very, very, very, very, very honest on this blog.
I am very, very, very, very, very honest in real life.
But, even more than all of those verys, is my guard. I am very guarded and I protect myself. I've gotten better, but my guard and my walls are still there.
I am very selective about who I let in and I am actually extremely private in my everyday life.

My guess is that if she is a party girl, and depending on her age, and her story, she is guarded as well.
If you really like her, then take the time to figure her out. Who she really honestly is and go from there.

My biggest problem is that men put me in a box and think they have me all figured out after a few dates/meetings/conversations and they are so, so, so very wrong. The problem is part me and part them, but still.


....okay, that's all for now. Feel free to throw some things my way. I will do my honest best to help out. If I can find another PG there love and their heart and hopefully make you and her see what the other has to offer, I am all for it.


P.S. Excellent quote, by the way and not dorky at all. One of my favorite movies.

Jay said...

wallflower: Not at all. I don't shave, but I do trim a bit. But a lot of my male friends do shave.

PG: Don't tease me like that! I calculate driving time and fuel mileage every time you do! ;-)

BlossomingWallFlower said...

They're at it again, PG. The office matchmakers, I mean.

Since I won't go anywhere near her, won't even email her, today they decided to bring her to me. It was a rather cute affair, like some awkward farce from a sitcom, and I even managed a clever joke or two... but neither of us made eye contact though speaking to each other directly. Oye ve.

Yes, your advice makes perfect sense, PG. Women today do have to deal with a double standard. And she and the girls seem to be quite concerned with whether or not I "approve of her" as her fan club asked me several times outright today would I date a hypothetical girl who'd been around the block, though their actual words were a lot more... crass.

Anywho, as regards sex and sleeping around, I couldn't care less and told them as much, as long as she's clean (no STDs) and completely faithful when she's with me, my prerequisites for any woman. Yet if her MySpace is any indication, she's had (and quite likely HAS) scores of other lovers her own age with six packs, square jaws and a lot more pipe to lay than I could ever dream of. I even caught her reeling in our wealthy randy all-powerful VP once whose 50+ and has a wife and kids.

Needless to say, she has her pick.

She has to know that I'm not exactly a goal of sorts. I'm not much to look at like the young guys, I'm not rich like the older older guys. Pfft, it's common knowledge in the office that I've never even kissed a girl let alone bedded one (some of the nicer women even insist that I'm gay, which isn't fair; I'm an effeminate hetero, there IS a difference). Truthfully, the whole thing is frightfully akin to a professional Formula 1 racer suddenly opting for an Amish horse-drawn carriage. I mean WTF?

The only conclusion I can come to-- and my Lord it hurts to even admit it to myself-- is that she wants to be able to say that she's sooo hot she even deflowered an older virgin minister once... then after unceremoniously dumping and divorcing me for her usual bad boy type, she'd laugh about it every time she saw or even thought about me. I'd be her own sexual conquest and ego boost, her own little private joke. That would mean that she didn't just not like me from the beginning, she utterly DESPISED me at some deeper level. And the worst part would be I never did anything to her but crushed/loved outta my league.

(morbid sigh)

This is quickly turning into the plot of a new Farrelly Brothers movie...