You wanna know why people don't live by the Spike Lee credo? Cause it takes too much time and effort.
Case in point (C'mon did you really believe I didn't have an example?)
At work this afternoon I was handed a checkbook. A full and complete hundreds of blank checks banking account numbers, the works was found on the floor. The person who found it handed it to me and said, "...yeah it was just laying there.." turned and walked away.
Alrighty. Pretty sure this isn't a sign from god to alleviate all of my current financial woes. Just a guess. But I'm pretty sure.
So being the Super Girl PG that I am (cue super hero music) I look in the checkbook to locate the person's phone number and I will give them a ringy-ding-ding and ta dah! (rev the super hero music) the world is safe and sound from criminals and the common thief once more!
Oh, dear foolish readers. Do you not know me well enough to know nothing is ever that simple?
No phone number listed on the checks.
It's one of those monolithic branches, so no contact information either.
Google search for the closest locations.
Call the first branch.
No live person.
Call the second branch.
No live person.
Branch number three.
I immediately reach a live person.
....but she's no help.
Transfer the call.
Nope. He doesn't have anything.
He transfers me to the personal all things lost and found security branch.
After listening to the recorded message of, "Thank you for holding. All representative are busy. We will get to your call as ........quickly as possible." (No kidding on the pause there either. There was a hiccup between call and quickly. How appropriate.)
At 18:42 I got a live person. I'm on the wrong number.
Well, of course I am.
At 19:43 I am transferred.
Finally after 27:40 I'm told there is no way to contact the customer and I should destroy the checks.
Seriously? After all of that I'm just supposed to throw the checks away?
Yep.
I start laughing. Jesus fuck. Seriously. No wonder there's a riot at the end of the movie.
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12 comments:
You're lying. That story never happened.
Know how I know?
Because there's no such thing as a live person answering a phone at a bank!
Hahahahaa!! And you thought you could get away with it!
OMC: You're right. My bad. It wasn't a bank I finally ended up being on hold forever with, it was the bank's secruity/fraud dept.
...apparently a lot of fraud and personal security was being reported today.
the person could be in overdraft..as such no money for you anyways...although you could do some fraud for a while...hmm....
let me rethink this
Figures, after all that legwork they just want you to destroy the checks. You have far more patience than I do. I would have quit long before you did and just put the damn things through the shredder.
No shit: I found a wallet in the parking lot at Home Depot a week ago.
I looked in it and saw the Driver's License photo (it belonged to a woman). So I wandered BACK INTO Home Depot (that's right ... I'd already done my shopping) and passed her once, not knowing if it was her (a couple of women looked similar).
I had her wallet tucked into my pocket, because I could visualize being spotted first, and having her shriek, "Help! That Pug has my wallet!". And being tackled by Security and arrested.
Finally I approached the most likely match; said, "I've got something for you", as a fumbled with my ass (it was in my tight back pocket (damn my firm buttocks!)). I then worried that she was going to slap me for being a perv, and get me detained for harassment.
I finally produced the wallet and handed it to her, in front of her husband and the dude from the Cabinet department. Then I thought, what if she claims that money is missing (I didn't look in that part of the wallet ... just at the Driver's License)?
Anyway, not a thank you. She may have been fumbling through the wallet in an attempt to "tip" me, which would have been a cheesy and insulting gesture. I turned and quickly disappeared around the corner. True story.
Geez, that reads back like an OMC story ;-)
(But it IS true)
I'll bet if you write out a couple of checks you'd find the person a hell of a lot faster.
Not: true. My luck it would be all monopoly money in the account.
Karl: That's me, Little Miss trying-to-do-the- right-thing. I couldn't help but break out into laughter when it was all over.
I then waited until the end of the day and taped a note around it saying all checks were voiced and threw it in the trash. Why make someone else go through it all over again.
P: Man, not even a thank you? See, I hate stories like that because that get my panties in a bunch quicker than anything else. I mean, didn't they learn to mind their P's and Q's?
Limpy: You know, something tells me you're right about that. Damn.
But then I would have all of that bad Karma ju-ju on my ass. And if there's one thing I hate it's bad Karma ju-ju on my ass.
"Bad Karma Ju Ju" is my nickname! I'll be right over!
P: So then I would have Pug ju ju on my ass.
Hmmm, dirty.
P: I hereby dub you "OMP".
Damn I would hope that if I ever lost my checkbook and someone was kind enough to try to turn it in, that my bank would, at the very least, make arrangements to retrieve them for me.. opposed to just trusting someone to dispose of them. Seems rather irresponsible on the banks part.
That was very nice of you to try though.. so many people wouldn't.
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