Friday, December 14, 2007

that's why they call it, practicing

I joke about my drinking ability.
I make fun of my liver.
I've been known to beat my liver into quiet submission.
I always win the battle.
At least until the next morning.

Yesterday, you know, the last day of the semester, I told my three most-bestest friends to meet me at the bar. At the bar at 1:15 CST.

They came.
Aaaaaand, they did not drink.

I made fun.
I ridiculed.
I said, what the fuck?!?!

They said, they were tired. (They complained, really)
They were up late.
They wanted a nap.

In the meantime I drank five of my most favorite drinks in about two hours. Actually, two hours is probably being generous. More like 1.5 hours, but I don't want to brag.
I would have kept drinking but they mentioned money constraints and tired eyes and wa-wa-wa.
Fine.

They went home to nap.
Okay, I took a nap too. Hey, I was home and the alcohol had kicked in. Nappy-time sounded like a good idea.

Back to the bar at 9:ish.
Aaaaaand we all drank the night away.
When I wasn't drinking fast enough, they enabled me.
When they weren't drinking fast enough, I enabled them.

It's a give and take relationship.

I'm not an alcoholic.
I'm a practicing alcoholic.
There is a difference.

Here's the thing, I'm 33 years old. They are: 22, 24, 26. (My most bestest friends. The rest of the gang is mostly 22 and 23.)
I have, admittedly and I've been told, that I have the worst sleeping patterns of just about anyone alive.
Meaning, I don't. Sleep. I don't sleep. Rarely. Six hours, tops. Mixed in with a lot of insomnia.
Yet, they were tired. Several of the gang left early.
I closed the bar.
And I can drink all of them under the table without slurring or being stupid.
Maybe loud and hilarious. But not stupid.
There is a difference.
There are two different levels of obnoxious.
I am the fun kind of obnoxious.

Oh, and I met someone.
I'll see if there is any chemistry when we're both sober and I'll let you know.
I don't have hopes of it being ever-lasting.
Or more than weekend-lasting.
But I've been known to be wrong.
About a lot of things.

8 comments:

ptg said...

and isn't enabling each other to drink more the best way to pass time? At least, I find it is.

And let us know after the weekend how things went. Because in the moment, it always seems good!

Jay said...

Your liver is there for a reason...





...to be abused!




Occasionally, the kids need to be shown what drinkin' is all about.

Sounds like you did a pretty good job of that. :-)

Bre said...

ohh you and I would get along famously at the bars, I'm sure!

limpy99 said...

I haven't closed a bar since, uhm, since, well, last night.

Party Girl said...

ptg; I must say, this grad school thing as an older, wiser thirty-something, while my friends are young-twenty-somethings, well, me likey. Me, likey a lot.

Jay: My liver tries to scream out in protest; I just shut-it-up with more vodka.
Mmmm, vodka.

Bre: I am sure you and I would have a lot of fun together.

Limpy; If I am home before 2am, I call that a waste of make-up.

Appletini said...

You know what they say...practice makes perfect!
Ugh! I would die on 6 hours of sleep.

GirlGoyle said...

One has an alcohol problem when he denies it. You obviously don't deny it so...you're fine! Problem solved! Or that's how they explained my lust for alcohol too. Eh...it works!

limpy99 said...

Yeah, me too.

What, too much info?