Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Paul the Penguin

When I walked to school today I encountered Paul. Paul the Penguin. Nice guy. I thought it was a bit odd to see a penguin out and about in these parts, so I asked him about his relocation to the northern side of the planet. He said that his home in Antarctica was getting a bit warm and he and his wife, Deloris, had heard how cold and blustery the Great White North could be*, so they decided to relocate. As he spoke with some snow blew into my eyes, so I could see his point. Well, not so much see, as my eyes were filled with freezing ice, but I could certainly understand the relocation plan of his family. As we spoke, he told me about his wife, they’ve been married 25 years, two kids, a son Marlin, which I found to be an unusual name for a penguin as it is part of the fish family, but he said it was a an old family name going back to the Mesozoic area. Sure, sure. A daughter, Samantha, Sam for short, who has met a seagull during the relocation program. Paul is trying to accept the interspecies love match, but Deloris is just sick with worry over what the neighbors must be saying.

It was at this point in the conversation that I had to interrupt Paul and asked, "Paul, have you seen my nipples, cause I think they fell off." He shook his head in a sad little way and admitted that he had not, but wished me luck on my search. Personally, I think Paul was lying; I think he had seen my nipples. Perhaps he had only seen them pointing like rock hard diamonds through my coat before they had fallen off, but he had seen them. I just don't think he wanted to embarrass me. Paul is a good man. He seems to be a little too preoccupied by the interspecies dating of his daughter, but he's a dad and his job is to worry. Before I left our conversation, I told him that sometimes there are good things that come with interspecies dating. He asked me to name a few.
The Zorse.
The Ass.
Those were all I could name.

I knew he would spend the rest of the day muttering to himself over the thought of his daughter giving birth to a Pensgull.

*Current temp: -2.
Windchill: -28.
Snow: The snow? It's currently snowing sideways.
How far can the eye see: Not very fucking.

The joy of being a grad student:
my day is "officially" over, I am on my couch, beer by my side. Ahhhhh. (Unofficially my ass needs to be doing homework.)


Anonymous said...

Hahah! Yay for Paul.

And I do so enjoy when my days are "officially" over.
Unfortunately I officially have accounting class tonight. And that officially blows.

Keep Warm!

Blues Greene said...

Howlin' Wolf led me to your most interesting universe here. Lots to take in. It'll take a while. I'm fascinated by your knowledge of Phil Ochs too. I've been writing about the 60s lately and it's so refreshing to see that someone knows this tragic genius. By the way, Portland, Oregon is the real beer capital of the U.S.

Jay said...

I feel your pain, lovely.

Current temperature here in Madison is -7 with a wind chill of -34.

I hear Austin is a wonderful town to live in. :-)

limpy99 said...

This post makes me wat to frolic about naked here in 42 and sunny Connecticut.

Too bad about those spoilsport cops.

Old Man Crowder said...

Is that temperature in Farenheit or Celcius??

Holy Hannah, that's cold!!

Sorry to hear about your nipples.

Really I am.

ptg said...

I hear you in the frozen nipples.

Do you think someone collects them and looks at them lovingly at night? It's like a whole new version of pin the tail on the donkey.

And yes, I have now weirded myself out with that thought.

Party Girl said...

Ablog: Yeah, it's hard when the night classes come around. Hard to get the butt off the couch.

Blues: I first learned of Phil Ochs in a Rock and Roll class. Gotta love that college course!

Jay: Really, who needs to feel their limbs, you know?

Limpy: Yeah, it was a balmy 45 degrees on Monday. Yesterday -30 for the low.
It's moving east.

OMC: Yes, Farenheit. I currently cannot feel my toes. Nipples have been long gone.

Ptg: I officially have no comment for that one. Good job!

Amit said...

A bit nipply out there where you live, eh? ;)