The Power of One: Alice Paul

Because it's only been 86 years since women gained the right to vote. She is one of the main reasons why we've had that right for 86 years.
"

Alice Paul

just askin', just sayin' Halloween is the most bestest holiday of the year

If a person gets arrested on Halloween do they get to change out of their costume before their mugshot?

I mean, I can't imagine there is someone dressed as the Bride of Frankenstein, or Joan Crawford as Mommy Dearest, screaming, "No more wire hangers, ever!" or Nurse Betty, a fairy princess, a priest with a little fake boy doll attatched to his genitals has a mugshot reflecting these Halloween costumes, but I don't know. Anyone?

Although, those would be some pretty kickass mugshots to see. I'm thinking the Bride of Frankenstein wouldn't be looking so blushing after sitting in the back of a cop car at 4 a.m.

This is why I love Halloween. Hands down my favorite holiday. Only second to my birthday. I have permission to go out and show off all my little perversions and fantasties to the whole wide world and they embrace me! Actually, I think a person can see a lot about another person and all of their inner what-nots on Halloween and see what things are really lurking inside someone on a night like Halloween. Someone's demons, thoughts, fantasies, sense of humor, fetishes. It's so freakin' wonderful.

Me, this year I was a Catholic schoolgirl. A slutty one. Boobs up to my chin, more make-up than I wear in a year, and white lace stockings complete with fuck me shoes. It was wonderful. I had a nun eyeballing me all night. I was channeling all his impure thoughts. I'm pretty sure he wanted me back in the classroom with a ruler in his hand. At least that's what he told me.
(Jay?)

So, what were you this year?

Oh, and here's the end of my jokes:

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?

Art.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying on the floor?

Matt.

How do you make a hormone?

You pay her. (Whore, moan.)

The sexiest thing a woman can wear is her head held high

the same it true for men, as well.

Confidence, self-esteem. I don't care what a person looks like, if they have a great outlook on life and an amazing personality and the self-confidence to go with it, wow. Color me sold.

After spending a Saturday afternoon with a home full of women and where two of the women were having a pissing contest between them over who felt worse about themselves. Who was the fattest, ugliest, and who had the most things wrong with them, seriously, it had to be a Madison Ave. ad man's wet dream. Finally when my breaking point of listening to it all had reached its limit I told them that the next person who said something negative owed me $10. Amazingly enough, all negative comments ended.

Here's a news flash: I'm not perfect. Here's another news flash: I don't pretend to be. (most days) Here's one more news flash: I don't want to be perfect. Perfect, is boring. I'll take all my flaws, thanks.
However, if I spent my time thinking and talking about all of my flaws on any given day, well, hell, I wouldn't make it out of bed most days. Instead, I choose to ignore what I think needs to be fixed, or more likely, I choose to embrace it. And here's the thing, it's what I think is wrong. If I were to point out what I didn't like about me to any one of you, chances are it's something you'd never even notice. It's all of the invisible things that we see and we think they are flashing a huge neon green sign to the person looking at us that they in turn are thinking, "Oh my god! Look at her! How the hell did she manage to even get out of bed today looking like that?!?!" When in reality, chances are they don't even see it or they may be envious because of it, or they wish they had whatever it is that we hate and vice versa.

I just don't understand why we spend so much time hating ourselves and putting ourselves down.
Ew! EW! Wait! I know this answer, it's because we're told by all of the ads we see and hear and TV shows devoted to what is wrong with us and what we need to change that we see and therefore buy into it. Dr 90210, anyone? Or as I call them: my nose is huge, my eyelids are sagging and my boobs aren't nearly big enough, and I have a tiny lump o' fat in my ass, shows. Trust me, I can be a victim to this as well. So, again it comes down to society and images killing us. Killing oursleves and it's not softly. However, I think we do an amazing job of killing ourselves, our self-esteem, our self-image, our self-worth each and everytime we say something negative about ourselves or about someone else we kill ourselves. We kill a little bit about what is great and individual about each and every one of us each time we buy into it and frankly, I think it's ridiculous.

So, how about we all start wearing the sexiest thing a person can wear, our heads held high. Let's all stop buying into the Madison Ave. wet dream and start wearing all of flaws proudly.

word origin: scum bag

The word 'scum bag' originally referred to a used condom.

Now, it seems to refer to the men I date.
Coincidence? I think not.

inner dork: sex through the ages

Did you know....

Forming the letter V with your index and middle fingers (the peace sign) today has a positive meaning. However, originally the gesture had a different meaning. In Europe it was seen as an obscene gesture symbolizing a double phallus and suggesting infidelity. If you made the gesture to a man you were basically saying, "Your wife has been cheating on you."
(Maybe the original meaning needs to be brought back. Can't find the words to tell your buddy their wife has cheated? Form a V. Ta dah!)

During the Victorian era it was considered improper to have sex on Sunday.
(Hell, I require it three times on Sunday. I feel I do my best praying on those days, with all of the "Oh Gods!" and all.)

In darker times the Catholic confessional was used by priests to recruit women for sex.
(Now they recruit little boys.)

Spartans use to dress their wives as little boys in order to be aroused enough to have sex with them.
(Jerry Springer, anyone?)

King Solomon at one time had 700 wives and 1300 concubines, according to the eleventh chapter of the First Book of Kings.
(Well, now that's a bit excessive, donchya think?)

The Egyptian pharaoh Cheops used income from prostitution, including that from his daughter, whom he pressed into harlotry, to finance the constrution of the great pyramid at Giza.
(Hmmm, wonder how much therapy she needed after that?)

Moorish baths in the 15th Century had women who were skilled in the art of pulling out pubic hair in men to induce orgasm.
(Ga! See, yet another excellent reason to be shaved.)

In the 13th Century if married Christians were not planning on having children, they were forbidden to have sex.
(I want kids!!! I want to have kids!!!!) (Okay, I'm lying, but geesh, can you blame me?)

During such sexually repressive times such as the early Christian era and the Puritan and Victorian eras, flagellation reached popular heights as a means of sexual gratification.
(I have sinned! I have sinned!!! Now, punish me!)

That's all for today's lesson. Class is dismissed until next week.

crack dealers and prostitutes

What's the difference between a crack dealer and a prostitute?






....A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.



(OH! Thank you. Thank you very much. I'll be here all week.)

that's gonna leave a mark

Why did the girl fall off the swing?




...because she had no arms.


(I've heard it once and told it four times today and each time I've laughed so hard I almost pee'd myself.) (almost)

Welcome to my world.

my knack for honesty + the fragile male ego = too many things at the dinner table last night. (or how to make a great date go bad)

...and so my night went.

Something about hurting his pride in regards to a comment I made over dinner. He was bad mouthing his ex-wife who he has two kids with. I told him how extremely unattractive I find that. I then explained why I find it unattractive. He understood. (He said.)

Walking me to my car he told me I hurt his pride. I told him that wasn't my intention, but I'm not going to listen to him talk about his ex-wife that way.

Then the kiss goodnight by my car was mighty short. (mighty)

The two might be related.

Yeah.

More to come.

Maybe.

(God I'm sick of dating.)

ducks and their chapstick

So, this duck walks into my office on Friday, I know what you're thinking, Pirates named Joe and now a duck randomly walking into my office, but truly, that is how random my job is. So, Steve, the duck, walks into my office and says, "Give me some chapstick, and put it on my bill."


I know, how odd. Who knew ducks, let alone those named Steve, like moist soft lips.

word origin: hermaphrodite

The term, hermaphrodite, meaning to have the sex organs of both a male and female derives from the Greek god and goddess, Hermes and Aphrodite. They gave birth to a son who ended up half man and half woman.

inner dork: falling off the wagon

Did you know....

The term, 'on the wagon' comes from a time when the streets were watered down by a horse drawn carriage or wagon. A person who swore to give up alcohol thus had then, 'climbed onto the water wagon.' So, when a person went back to alcohol they had, 'fallen off the water wagon.'


I know. Fascinating, isn't it?

lessons 101

How to draw unnecessary attention to yourself while at work: unintentionally dress like a Catholic schoolgirl. Complete with glasses, ponytail, and tights.

I was told that when I go out tonight I should lose the glasses or there will be serious fantasy fullfillment.


That concludes today's lesson.

career opportunities

If a woman with big boobs can get a job at Hooters, where can a woman with one leg get a job?


....

I-Hop.

The Power of One: Making a difference

I know the power of one is supposed to be about others, but it turns out I've been making a difference to one person and they told me about it today.

My part-time gig has been privately tutoring (and mentoring) a student. We meet twice a week and I help him with homework, study for tests and the like. I also, in a non-intrusive way, ask him how things are going in his life and calm his nerves about school. (He's an 18-year-old first year student, has had a past drinking/drug problem and has a one-year-old daughter, so it's the whole, world is there for his taking if he just takes advantage of it, that we all had at that age, but with actual life responsibility on top of it.)

So, today as we are winding down I ask him about Thursday and his tests, grades, how it's all going and the spring semester. I tell him I am still planning to meet and work with him in the spring and summer and well, frankly for as long as he needs me. He tells me in that random nonchallant 18-year-old-guy-way, that he wants me to keep working with him this semester and yeah, he really wants me to keep helping him, because he really appreciates it and I've made such a difference with him this semester and with his classes and his grades and he doesn't know how he would do it without me and thank you so much for all my help....
I'm just sitting there listening to this really wonderful and remarkable young man tell me how much I matter to him and all I'm thinking is, 'don't cry, don't cry...'

So, yeah, wow.

It was one of those moments where everything came together, and someone told me I make a difference. That what I enjoy doing and I can hardly call or consider a job, matters.

Yeah.

So awesome.

It was my, warm-fuzzy-heart-all-a-glow-misty-eyed-floating-on-air-moment-on-a late- Tuesday-afternoon. Life is so wonderful in all it's randomness sometimes, you know?

skeletons

What do you call the blonde skeleton in the closet?
....

..

..

The 1983 hide and seek champion.

vodka + laughter = a happy party girl

I'm so easy to make happy.

A girlfriend and I went out after work last night.
I ordered a few tall doubles, a greasy hamburger and fries, lots of laughter and sex talk and well, I am no longer wallowing in my own self-pity.
I was reborn.
I am all good.

Yep, buy me some drinks, some greasy food, let me flirt with the waiter, talk with a boy, talk about sex and well, I'm a happy, happy gal.

I still need a $1,000.

Just putting that out there.

Still need money.

But hey, for now, I'm all good.

Tonight I'm out with one of my gays, and well, tomorrow all of life's problems with seem shiney and bright.

antifreeze

Do you know how to make antifreeze?

..

.

.....

...You take away her nightgown.


(Annie freeze/antifreeze)

Oh, I kill me!

just askin': tattoos

I don't want to write about what's really on my mind, so I thought I would ask a question instead.

Do you have any tattoos?
If so, who, what, when, where, why, and how come?

Me? My body is naked of any permanent body art. I've thought about getting one several times. I created my own designs and then I sat on them for a year. If I still wanted it after a year then I would get it. I never did. Thank god for the ability to look ahead.

Piercings? Got any?

Me? Just my ears. Six on each ear. I got the first one at three-years-of-age and the last when I was twenty.
Thought about getting my belly-button and nose pierced. Sometimes one of my nipples. Thus far just my ears.

movie trivia game

courtesy of GirlGoyle...

Proving, once again, that I am easily entertained, here is a trivia movie game. Killed an hour at work yesterday. Thus far I have 33 correct. (And I'm not a horror movie fan. I rock!) (and kick ass!) (just sayin')

Good luck and happy wasting of time on the clock

strawberry shakes

Do you know how to make a strawberry shake?

You take it to a scary movie!



(duh)