Friday, October 27, 2006

inner dork: sex through the ages

Did you know....

Forming the letter V with your index and middle fingers (the peace sign) today has a positive meaning. However, originally the gesture had a different meaning. In Europe it was seen as an obscene gesture symbolizing a double phallus and suggesting infidelity. If you made the gesture to a man you were basically saying, "Your wife has been cheating on you."
(Maybe the original meaning needs to be brought back. Can't find the words to tell your buddy their wife has cheated? Form a V. Ta dah!)

During the Victorian era it was considered improper to have sex on Sunday.
(Hell, I require it three times on Sunday. I feel I do my best praying on those days, with all of the "Oh Gods!" and all.)

In darker times the Catholic confessional was used by priests to recruit women for sex.
(Now they recruit little boys.)

Spartans use to dress their wives as little boys in order to be aroused enough to have sex with them.
(Jerry Springer, anyone?)

King Solomon at one time had 700 wives and 1300 concubines, according to the eleventh chapter of the First Book of Kings.
(Well, now that's a bit excessive, donchya think?)

The Egyptian pharaoh Cheops used income from prostitution, including that from his daughter, whom he pressed into harlotry, to finance the constrution of the great pyramid at Giza.
(Hmmm, wonder how much therapy she needed after that?)

Moorish baths in the 15th Century had women who were skilled in the art of pulling out pubic hair in men to induce orgasm.
(Ga! See, yet another excellent reason to be shaved.)

In the 13th Century if married Christians were not planning on having children, they were forbidden to have sex.
(I want kids!!! I want to have kids!!!!) (Okay, I'm lying, but geesh, can you blame me?)

During such sexually repressive times such as the early Christian era and the Puritan and Victorian eras, flagellation reached popular heights as a means of sexual gratification.
(I have sinned! I have sinned!!! Now, punish me!)

That's all for today's lesson. Class is dismissed until next week.

8 comments:

puerileuwaite said...

I have to race out the door. I can't wait to read this one!

DykesDog said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DykesDog said...

I could not limit my sex, even on Sunday!

Party Girl said...

Okay, this is how out of it I am, I just realized today is Friday. I know, you're thinking no, shit PG.

But, inner dork and word origin is a Thursday occurance.

I'm suppose to be naked on Friday, not all smart and stuff.

Crap.

puerileuwaite said...

So THAT'S what Winston Churchill was really saying.

That's one Victorian Secret that should've stayed one.

Now I know where the Peep Show concept originated. Leave it to those nutty Catholics.

So much for rooting for Michigan State. Kinky bastards.

700 wives? Perhaps he was not nearly as wise as advertised.

The friggin' Cheopskate should've used his own damned money. Pimp my pyramid, indeed!

Now I know where "moron" originated.

Fortunately there was a "loophole", since only MARRIED Christians were mentioned.

Hey! Don't desecrate my flag-ellation.

***

Dykesdog - I'll take that as an invite!

Yeah, him. said...

If you want, I'll let you teach the research part of English Comp...

Your priest confessional booth remark made me think of this week's South park where the priests have little boys on leashes. South Park is hilarious.

Party Girl said...

P: you crack my ass up. Oh!, see, there's a crack right down the middle to prove it.

Yea, him: I LOVE..LOVE..doing research. If I could be a writer/research for Jeopardy! I would be so friggin happy. You all would never hear the end of it.

Jim said...

In the UK the V sign is right up there with the finger. I saw it come out a couple of times on the M1.

And technically speaking, even today observant Catholics are not supposed to have sex if there is no chance for procreation. One of the many reasons I stopped going to mass.