just askin'

Do you ever feel like you're living someone else's life?

word origin: carnival

The word, 'carnival' comes from the Italian for a festival meaning, "farewell to meat."

inner dork: storm clouds

Did you know...

Storm clouds are dark because sunlight is scattered by the Earth's atmosphere unless the particles that make up the atmosphere get too big. If this happens it makes the visible light become reflected instead of scattered.
Water droplets that reach this size are seen as clouds. Thin clouds appear white because they still allow some of the solar light through. The thicker the cloud, the less light passes through, and the more of it is reflected. Very heavy storm clouds look black because no light is passing through them; it is all being reflected away from the cloud.


...that concludes today's lesson on weather..

don't make me show you my last IQ score..or, what is more parking lot babble

Nick and I after class standing in the parking lot on Monday night. Or more specifically me leaning into his passenger window looking like a hooker bartering for a $20 blowjob.

He and I discussing the Amazing Race...

Nick: I like the two Asia guys.
PG: Ew, me to. I think their pretty. I want to lick the one with long hair.
Nick: I think their twins.
PG: No, I think their just brothers.
pause...
pause..
PG: Yeah, I can't believe I just said that either. (I then proceed to make fun of myself) So, if their twins do they like have the same birthday and stuff? Do you think they like have the same DNA?

...and the conversation went steadily downhill from there.

leaving the parking lot..

PG: Hey, I got the new Fergie and the new Justin Timberlake CD and I have to say, pretty damn good. Very danceable. They have a nice beat and I can dance to them. I give them an 86 on the dance scale.
Nick: I want the new Janet Jackson CD. "20 Y O."
PG: Yeah, saw it on Oprah today.
Nick: Twenty years since "Control."
PG: I don't get that, what does 'Y O' have to do with "Control?"
Nick: It's been twenty years since it came out. Twenty years ago.
PG: I still don't get it. Where's the 'Y O' in control?
Pause.
Nick: It's been twenty years. Twenty years old.
PG: Yeah, I still don't get it. 'Y O,' control, twenty years old, where's the connection?
this went on for a few more banters back and forth, I will spare you the redundancy...
*ding*
PG: OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Twenty Years Old. Y-O..20 Y O..
Pause..
PG: Yeah, I don't think their twins, just brothers.....

Goodbye, Nick...

IQ was a 142 the last time I tested.

...at least that's what the little popup quiz told me. Swear.

The Power of One: Jackie Robinson

Because as he stood on home plate they called him everything but his name.
Because as he ran the bases they cheered his name.
Because even though they yelled and cheered his name with each home run he hit they still didn't respect him.
Because with all of that he still came out of the dugout to be cheered and jeered during each game.
Jackie Robinson

why, hello impure thoughts...

Last night at a stop light on my way to class...

There I am minding my own business dancing in my car like I am in a gay disco with the sun glowing in front of me like a glittering disco ball when suddenly the sidewalk is filled with young studs jogging down the sidewalk. Jogging, whipping their young tight muscles into shape for whatever sport is in season right now. Jogging in their black polyester gym shorts and shirtless. The only kind of covering their chests are wearing is a nice fine glistening wetness of sweat. Sweat from their after school before practice jog. Their eager young muscles shining from the sweat on their tender young bodies the shorts clinging to their young buttocks.

I glide to a stop as the light turns red and I am in no hurry for it to turn green as I lean my elbow onto the window seal and start to wind the end of my ponytail between my fingers and palm as I let my mind drift off to the young boys with their ripe young bodies bouncing off into the sunset feet from my car. With their sweaty chests, deep breaths timing their pace, the natural leader of the herd taking the other young studs into the stable. My mind wanders, my eyes narrow as I take in my prey.

I suddenly notice how skinny they all are. I also start to notice how small their buttocks are as one turns to look at me and I notice his young pale face and the *ting* of braces hits my eye.

I shake the lust from my ponytail as I realize, Oh my god. I just completely lusted after a pack of high school boys. What are they? Fifteen, maybe 16-years-old? Surely there must be an 18-year-old among them. I look closer. Nope, I don't think there is. I don't think there is a legal one among the pack.

Damn it. There I am on the fast track to hell and once again there isn't a hand basket in sight.

parking lot babble

Conversation with Nick in the school parking lot on Saturday morning before my class.

PG: This G-string is rubbing against all my fun parts in the most ticklish-fun-I-want-sex-right-now sort of way.

Nick: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. Not a lot I can, or am willing, to do about that.

PG: Damn it! Me and my gays.

As a result of Nick's unwillingness to help I had to suffer through my Shakespeare class horny. Very horny. Or as old Shakes would say, "Thou wast very randy in thoust rose bud female knowledge..."
Yes. Yes thoust wasist.

Everything I've hoped, wished, prayed, given up, sacrificed, wanted, and said, "Dear God, please!!!" for the past few years, finally came true today!

In March of 2001 I left Corporate America, or what I affectionately call my soul sucking years, and went back to work in the food biz. I took a $15,000 pay cut, but as far as I was concerned it was worth it because I was getting my soul back and also my personality. I was poor, but happy.
As I was working full-time as a kitchen slave I was also working part-time from home doing medical billing.
After about 18 months or so the writing was very clearly sprawled in the egg batter that the restaurant was going to close and so I high-tailed it out of there before the door could hit me where the good Lord split me and I started working full-time from home. I took another hefty pay cut to do this, but again my soul was pretty well still in tact and I was happy. Very poor, but ultimately happy.
Well, eventually the very poorness caught up with me and I moved home for a few months to pay off all my debt and I went back to school. This was in the fall of 2003. I was taking a few classes and I was still working full-time and at this time started working part-time for my current employer as I was doing so.
Then, two days before Thanksgiving my full-time job was abolished. Nice.
I collected unemployment and asked my part-time employer if they had anything in terms of employment for me. They in turn created my current position.
I went back to school in full-force (taking at least 12 credits every 10 weeks) and working full-time. I will graduate in December from the incredibly expensive private college I attend and plan to start my Master's in the fall at a college yet to be decided.

I made no bones, skulls, eyeballs, teeth, pencils, or note pads to my current boss that I wanted to stay here. Everytime the subject of my life would come up I would end the sentence with, "...and I would really like to stay here. I would like full-time, benefits, good salary..." I would see her drift off into the not so near future with a look of pondering on her face of what she could do for me.

See, I suppose here is where I should say that even though I work a full 40 hour week the only benefit I am afforded is that I love my job and for the most part the people I work around. I have no health insurance, no sick leave, no paid time off. The only benefit I have is that when my alarm goes off in the morning I am able to get up out of bed and come into work with a smile on my face and well, that's the greatest benefit of all. Especially seeing as how I spent my 20's working for the Devil himself and having my soul replaced with a fiery brimstone cavernous hole and absolutely feeling like the cog that turned the wheel and oh, what's that? A chain that goes from my desk to my ankle? How odd.

Today my boss gave me a job offer to start in August. Full-time with benefits, sick time, paid leave, vacation time, retirement plan, and a salary that even on the low end is more than I would allow myself to daydream about.
She has to turn the proposal into her boss who has to approve it. Depending on where it goes from there it can either become mine, or it will have to be posted and then I will have to interview for it. However, as she pointed out I've been doing this job for over two, almost three, years. The job is mine.
The: making less money than I did when I was 18, the coming into work sicker than sick because I couldn't afford to be in bed which is where I should have been, (which would be today) the long days of working all day and then going to night school, the new daily addiction to coffee because at the most I get six hours of sleep a night, the fluctuating 10-15 extra pounds because I'm not home to workout, the trips that had to be postponed, and on and on and on...it's all been worth it. All of it. Today, it all became worth it.

if I only had the money to

There are several phrases that I get tired of hearing. Several words that people use over and over again that lose all meaning and I am left counting how many times they repeat the word instead of listening to what they are actually saying.
However, the one phrase that I am hearing more and more and that I am finding is taking a toll on me and those around me is.."if I had the money to.." or "well, when I have the money.." or "I can't because I don't have the money to..." or some combination thereof.

It simply leaves me wondering, really? Would your life be all that different? Would you? Would you do X, Y, and Z not to mention E, F, and G and forget all about L, M, and N and P can simply get you into trouble. So, really? Would you? Would we, do whatever it is we aren't doing because we don't have those all mighty Benjamin’s, Jefferson's and perhaps a few Grants and well who couldn't use an extra Washington or two and well, a Hamilton is always a good thing.

So, ultimately, would you? Would you do all those things that you're not doing and your excuse is because you don't have the money to do them, or is that simply a convenient excuse? And if you did have the money wouldn't we just find some other excuse not to do whatever it is we aren't doing because really, don't we just like to have a excuse and a reason to back up whatever it is we aren't doing and whatever stagnant life it is we are living? Even if we don't like where we are, I think we like and enjoy and in all honesty don't we like to wallow and complain about whatever it is we are wallowing and complaining about whatever it is that is getting on our last nerve on any given day of the week?
So, would you? Would you really do whatever it is you aren't doing if you had the money to do it? And if so, what is it that you would do that you're currently not doing because you don't have the money to do it?

the power of one: Margaret Sanger

Because she has helped to save countless lives.
Because she has helped to spread knowledge about our bodies.
Because she has allowed women the freedom to be able to own our sexuality.
Because the clinics are called, Planned Parenthood. Meaning, we can
plan when we, and if we, want to become parents.
Because I can't believe it is even still an issue.
Because no one, least the government, has a right to tell me what I can and cannot do with my own body.

Margaret Sanger

flesh

When a relationship ends it is the flesh that I miss. I miss the flesh of the other person. Being held, spooned, our body parts all entwined, listening to the other person sleep and feeling their body relax and then coming to the realization that my body has relaxed within theirs.

Being comfortable with him sleeping on my side of my bed, and not caring.
Not getting the neck support from my pillow because I’d rather lay my head in the crook of his arm and let his arm cradle my head.
Having my hair swept above the pillow only to find it under his arm and the only way for me to know this, is when I go to roll over and I am suddenly awoken by a strong tug on my head by the inability to turn as a result of the hair being locked under him.
Hitting the snooze button at 6:03 a.m. but not getting the nine minutes of much needed sleep, but instead that lovely sleepy sexy first thing in the morning quickie that puts the spring in my step and the swing in my pony-tail the way no cup of coffee can.

Flesh.

What I crave, what I long for, yearn for, miss the most and I have waves of regret and a flood of questions come over me when a relationship ends. Curling up to his, my, pillow and searching for a sign of him.

Flesh.

Changing the sheets from the last time he was over and knowing it will be the last time, the last sign, of him, the last piece of evidence that he and I ever spent time together, hours, months, nights together, yearning for flesh.
Being held, spooned, touched, comforted in a way that only a person who has held me would know and understand. To feel my body relax within their arms, to hold my head in the crook of his arm, to look at me first thing in the morning with the sun streaming into the windows my eyes still closed and feeling his breath on my neck, his lips on my collarbone.
That’s what I miss when a relationship ends, flesh.

a weekend update

The pot: Serious creeper pot. First, I was annoyed with the amount I received. I only wanted about a bowls worth and didn't even get that much. I only paid $10 so, I mean, how much can I complain, right? Remember when you could buy nickel and dime bags? Anyway. So, hit after hit after hit and...nothin'. Annoyed. I took a deep breath. Well, not so much as a deep breath as it was a annoyed sigh. Annnnndd I'm high.
Wow. Yeah. Just what the body and the brain needed. Annoyance was over. Happiness and laughter started.
Don't you all wish that sometimes, just sometimes you could sit in your living room and smoke a bowl and just forget about everything both short-term and long-term like you did 10 years ago?

The ass-crack of dawn morning: I was at work at 7:05 a.m. I was administering the Praxis exam. A test for people who want to be teachers. My room was filled with those wanting to become elementary school teachers.
..
....
.....
What a whinny, bitchy, crabby, complaining room of young women. Good lord.
All I could think of was, "..and you all want to be teachers. Elementary ed. teachers no less. Good luck with that..."
Poor kids. They won't stand a chance.

The blister: If it wasn't concentrated in one place I would think it was that flesh eating disease. Seriously. I've never seen something take so damn long to heal and something as simple as a blister turn into something so gross and irritatingly painful.

The disco: It is more than ten years later from when I first started going to the gay disco and well....it's ten years later since I first started going to the gay disco. The new wave of club kids have shown up making me feel old.

monogamy

Do you think we, as human beings yet, no more than animals with a supposed larger brain than most animals, are really supposed to be monogamous?
I mean, really.
You and me with one person forever and ever until death, amen, monogamous?
If you think yes, then what about those who are divorced? I mean, ultimately they will be out on the prowl again as soon as they are ready to get back in the saddle.
Those who are married still very much look, gesture, speculate, daydream, and imagine what it would be like to be with someone else. Sure, they may go home to their wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, yet, the image, daydream that made them grit their teeth of whatever fantasy it just was that went through their head, is still there.

So, are we really supposed to be monogamous? Forever and ever, amen?

babble from the week

Babble from this week. Or things I never thought I'd hear myself say.

You know, I've actually come to see the benefits of typing with my thumbs. (a.k.a text messaging)

Actually, it's best to reach me on my cell.

Sure, I'll come in at 7 a.m. on Saturday. (Said on Monday.)

Why the fuck did I agree to come in at the ass-crack of dawn on a Saturday? (Said on Tuesday.)

Yeah, I have to be up at the ass-crack of dawn on Saturday so I'm not going to go out Friday night. Crap. Did I just grow-up? (Said on Wednesday.)

UGH! I know I'll love the paycheck when it comes in a couple weeks, by why the hell did I say I would come in tomorrow? (Said today.)

Hey, what are the chances that you can get me some pot for this weekend? (Said on Tuesday.)

So, how are we coming on the pot? (Said on Wednesday.)

I don't want that much, just enough for me for a weekend. (Said later in the day on Wednesday.)

So, how much do I owe you for the pot? (Said on Thursday.)

Did you know peroxide has an expiration date? Yeah, I didn't either and it turns out this blister is really fucking infected. (The one from my day of rolling skating.) (Mmmm, blister is gooey. And ooey as a result of the peroxide being 86'd.)

Okay, the tattooed guy from "Project Runway," what up with him?

Believe it or not, I actually understand my computer class.

pussy power

Those with the pussy hold the power.
Just sayin.'

crossing their legs to gang members

"Women who think they manipulate the world by pussy power are fools." Writer and feminist Germaine Greer

word origin: graffiti

Did you know graffiti comes from the Greek meaning 'to write?'

Me, neither. I learned it this past weekend while I was watching a documentary about something or other.

God, but I do love my documentaries.

inner dork: dedicated surgeon

Did you know...

The first successful artificial insemination of a human female was accomplished in the 1780's by Scottish surgeon JohnHunter.
However, he had much bigger goals in mind as he also studied veneral disease and he infected himself with gonorrhea and syphilis by making small incisions on his penis, then swabbing the cuts with a probe that had been dipped into the lesion of an infected prostitute. (Seriously, there are easier ways to become infected not to mention more fun and less painful. Just sayin'.)
His efforts resulted in a syphilitic lesion bearing his name, the hunterian chancre. (There are better ways to have something named after you.)
He died with the mistaken belief that gonorrhea and syphilis were different stages of the same disease.
(Gee, wonder what caused his death.)

The Power of One: Mother Teresa

Because she helped those who couldn't help themselves.
Because she helped those no one else wanted to help.
Because she gave her life to do so.
Mother Teresa

just say no. yeah, whatever

I watched a documentary on the evolution of drugs, drug cultural, drug use, and drug enforcement in the United States last night for four hours.

The entire time all I could think about was how much I wanted to get high right then and there.

I wanted pot.

I wanted acid.

I wanted E.

I didn't want coke, or meth, or heroin.

Pot. I wanted lots of it.

Acid. I wanted to be with my friends looking at all the pretty colors.

E. I wanted to be at a rave.
Or having sex.
Or at a rave having sex.

At the three hour mark I broke out the paints and a canvas. I felt inspired.

At the four hour mark I was planning my weekend.

At the four and half hour mark I was tired.

I went to bed.

This is why a party girl shouldn't watch documentaries about drugs.

This is why, 'just say no,' doesn't work.

conversation babble

A conversation in class this morning in regards to discussing a book about a bear that passes himself off as a human and has sex with women. He even practices safe sex with these women. No one notices that he is a bear. The author, William Kotzwinkle, also wrote the book, E.T. : The Extraterrestrial
This conversation dealt with the probability and likelihood of such an act.

PG: Well, I don't know. I mean, I think E.T. wanted to get it on with Elliot.
E.T. wanted his "Reese's pieces."

pause...

The men bust out laughing.

Guys: Oh, that's the funniest thing I've heard all week.

PG: Thanks. But, it is only Tuesday. I'll try to have something funnier for you by Thursday, but we're not setting the bar all that high.

In Remembrance

World Trade Center

Gordon M. Aamoth, Jr.
Edelmiro Abad
Maria Rose Abad
Andrew Anthony Abate
Vincent Abate
Laurence Christopher Abel
William F. Abrahamson
Richard Anthony Aceto
Jesus Acevedo Rescand
Heinrich Bernhard Ackermann
Paul Acquaviva
Donald LaRoy Adams
Patrick Adams
Shannon Lewis Adams
Stephen George Adams
Ignatius Udo Adanga
Christy A. Addamo
Terence E. Adderley, Jr.
Sophia Buruwad Addo
Lee Allan Adler
Daniel Thomas Afflitto
Emmanuel Akwasi Afuakwah
Alok Agarwal
Mukul Kumar Agarwala
Joseph Agnello
David Scott Agnes
Brian G. Ahearn
Jeremiah Joseph Ahern
Joanne Marie Ahladiotis
Shabbir Ahmed
Terrance Andre Aiken
Godwin Ajala
Gertrude M. Alagero
Andrew Alameno
Margaret Ann Alario
Gary M. Albero
Jon Leslie Albert
Peter Alderman
Jacquelyn Delaine Aldridge
David D. Alger
Sarah Ali-Escarcega
Ernest Alikakos
Edward L. Allegretto
Eric Allen
Joseph Ryan Allen
Richard Dennis Allen
Richard Lanard Allen
Christopher E. Allingham
Janet M. Alonso
Arturo Alva-Moreno
Anthony Alvarado
Antonio Javier Alvarez
Victoria Alvarez-Brito
Telmo E. Alvear
Cesar Amoranto Alviar
Tariq Amanullah
Angelo Amaranto
James M. Amato Joseph Amatuccio
Christopher Charles Amoroso
Kazuhiro Anai
Calixto Anaya, Jr.
Joseph Anchundia
Kermit Charles Anderson
Yvette Constance Anderson
John Andreacchio
Michael Rourke Andrews
Jean Ann Andrucki
Siew-Nya Ang
Joseph Angelini, Jr.
Joseph Angelini, Sr.
Laura Angilletta
Doreen J. Angrisani
Lorraine Antigua
Peter Paul Apollo
Faustino Apostol, Jr.
Frank Thomas Aquilino
Patrick Michael Aranyos
David Arce
Michael George Arczynski
Louis Arena
Adam P. Arias
Michael Armstrong
Jack Charles Aron
Joshua Aron
Richard Avery Aronow
Japhet Jesse Aryee
Patrick Asante
Carl Asaro
Michael Asciak
Michael Edward Asher
Janice Marie Ashley
Thomas J. Ashton
Manuel O. Asitimbay
Gregg Arthur Atlas
Gerald T. Atwood
James Audiffred
Louis Frank Aversano, Jr.
Ezra Aviles
Sandy Ayala
Arlene T. Babakitis
Eustace P. Bacchus
John J. Badagliacca
Jane Ellen Baeszler
Robert J. Baierwalter
Andrew J. Bailey
Brett T. Bailey
Tatyana Bakalinskaya
Michael S. Baksh
Sharon M. Balkcom
Michael Andrew Bane
Katherine Bantis
Gerard Baptiste
Walter Baran
Gerard A. Barbara
Paul Vincent Barbaro
James William Barbella
Ivan Kyrillos F. Barbosa
Victor Daniel Barbosa
Colleen Ann Barkow
David Michael Barkway
Matthew Barnes
Sheila Patricia Barnes
Evan J. Baron
Renee Barrett-Arjune
Nathaly Barrios La Cruz
Arthur Thaddeus Barry
Diane G. Barry
Maurice Vincent Barry
Scott D. Bart
Carlton W. Bartels
Guy Barzvi
Inna B. Basina
Alysia Basmajian
Kenneth William Basnicki
Steven Bates
Paul James Battaglia
Walter David Bauer, Jr.
Marlyn Capito Bautista
Jasper Baxter
Michele Beale
Paul Frederick Beatini
Jane S. Beatty
Lawrence Ira Beck
Manette Marie Beckles
Carl John Bedigian
Michael Earnest Beekman
Maria A. Behr
Yelena Belilovsky
Nina Patrice Bell
Debbie Bellows
Stephen Elliot Belson
Paul M. Benedetti
Denise Lenore Benedetto
Maria Bengochea
Bryan Craig Bennett
Eric L. Bennett
Oliver Duncan Bennett
Margaret L. Benson
Dominick J. Berardi
James Patrick Berger
Steven Howard Berger
John P. Bergin
Alvin Bergsohn
Daniel Bergstein
Michael J. Berkeley
Donna M. Bernaerts
David W. Bernard
William Bernstein
David M. Berray
David S. Berry
Joseph J. Berry
William Reed Bethke
Timothy Betterly
Edward Frank Beyea
Paul Beyer
Anil Tahilram Bharvaney
Bella J. Bhukhan
Shimmy D. Biegeleisen
Peter Alexander Bielfeld
William G. Biggart
Brian Bilcher
Carl Vincent Bini
Gary Eugene Bird
Joshua David Birnbaum
George John Bishop
Jeffrey Donald Bittner
Albert Balewa Blackman, Jr.
Christopher Joseph Blackwell
Susan Leigh Blair
Harry Blanding, Jr.
Janice Lee Blaney
Craig Michael Blass
Rita Blau
Richard Middleton Blood, Jr.
Michael Andrew Boccardi
John P. Bocchi
Michael Leopoldo Bocchino
Susan M. Bochino
Bruce D. Boehm
Mary Catherine Boffa
Nicholas Andrew Bogdan
Darren Christopher Bohan
Lawrence Francis Boisseau
Vincent M. Boland, Jr.
Alan Bondarenko
Andre Bonheur, Jr.
Colin Arthur Bonnett
Frank Bonomo
Yvonne Lucia Bonomo
Genieve Bonsignore, 3
Seaon Booker
Sherry Ann Bordeaux
Krystine Bordenabe
Martin Boryczewski
Richard Edward Bosco
John H. Boulton
Francisco Eligio Bourdier
Thomas Harold Bowden, Jr.
Kimberly S. Bowers
Veronique Nicole Bowers
Larry Bowman
Shawn Edward Bowman, Jr.
Kevin L. Bowser
Gary R. Box
Gennady Boyarsky
Pamela Boyce
Michael Boyle
Alfred Braca
Kevin Bracken
David Brian Brady
Alexander Braginsky
Nicholas W. Brandemarti
Michelle Renee Bratton
Patrice Braut
Lydia E. Bravo
Ronald Michael Breitweiser
Edward A. Brennan III
Francis Henry Brennan
Michael E. Brennan
Peter Brennan
Thomas M. Brennan
Daniel J. Brethel
Gary Lee Bright
Jonathan Briley
Mark A. Brisman
Paul Gary Bristow
Mark Francis Broderick
Herman Charles Broghammer
Keith A. Broomfield
Ethel Brown Janice
Juloise Brown
Lloyd Stanford Brown
Patrick J. Brown
Bettina Browne
Mark Bruce
Richard George Bruehert
Andrew Brunn
Vincent Brunton
Ronald Paul Bucca
Brandon J. Buchanan
Gregory Joseph Buck
Dennis Buckley
Nancy Clare Bueche
Patrick Joseph Buhse
John Edwards Bulaga, Jr.
Stephen Bunin
Matthew J. Burke
Thomas Daniel Burke
William Francis Burke, Jr.
Donald J. Burns
Kathleen Anne Burns
Keith James Burns
John Patrick Burnside
Irina Buslo
Milton G. Bustillo
Thomas M. Butler
Patrick Byrne
Timothy G. Byrne
Jesus Neptali Cabezas
Lillian Caceres
Brian Joseph Cachia
Steven Dennis Cafiero, Jr.
Richard M. Caggiano
Cecile Marella Caguicla
Michael John Cahill
Scott Walter Cahill
Thomas Joseph Cahill
George Cain
Salvatore B. Calabro
Joseph Calandrillo
Philip V. Calcagno
Edward Calderon
Kenneth Marcus Caldwell
Dominick Enrico Calia
Felix Calixte
Frank Callahan
Liam Callahan
Luigi Calvi
Roko Camaj
Michael F. Cammarata
David Otey Campbell
Geoffrey Thomas Campbell
Jill Marie Campbell
Robert Arthur Campbell
Sandra Patricia Campbell
Sean Thomas Canavan
John A. Candela
Vincent Cangelosi
Stephen J. Cangialosi
Lisa Bella Cannava
Brian Cannizzaro
Michael Canty
Louis Anthony Caporicci
Jonathan Neff Cappello
James Christopher Cappers
Richard Michael Caproni
Jose Manuel Cardona
Dennis M. Carey
Steve Carey
Edward Carlino
Michael Scott Carlo
David G. Carlone
Rosemarie C. Carlson
Mark Stephen Carney
Joyce Ann Carpeneto
Ivhan Luis Carpio Bautista
Jeremy M. Carrington
Michael Carroll
Peter Carroll
James Joseph Carson, Jr.
Marcia Cecil Carter
James Marcel Cartier
Vivian Casalduc
John Francis Casazza
Paul R. Cascio
Margarito Casillas
Thomas Anthony Casoria
William Otto Caspar
Alejandro Castano
Arcelia Castillo
Germaan Castillo Garcia
Leonard M. Castrianno
Jose Ramon Castro
Richard G. Catarelli
Christopher Sean Caton
Robert John Caufield
Mary Teresa Caulfield
Judson Cavalier
Michael Joseph Cawley
Jason David Cayne
Juan Armando Ceballos
Jason Michael Cefalu
Thomas Joseph Celic
Ana Mercedes Centeno
Joni Cesta
Jeffrey Marc Chairnoff
Swarna Chalasani
William Chalcoff
Eli Chalouh
Charles Lawrence Chan
Mandy Chang
Mark Lawrence Charette
Gregorio Manuel Chavez
Delrose E. Cheatham
Pedro Francisco Checo
Douglas MacMillan Cherry
Stephen Patrick Cherry
Vernon Paul Cherry
Nester Julio Chevalier
Swede Chevalier
Alexander H. Chiang
Dorothy J. Chiarchiaro
Luis Alfonso Chimbo
Robert Chin
Wing Wai Ching
Nicholas Paul Chiofalo
John Chipura
Peter A. Chirchirillo
Catherine Chirls
Kyung Hee Cho
Abul K. Chowdhury
Mohammad Salahuddin Chowdhury
Kirsten L. Christophe
Pamela Chu
Steven Chucknick
Wai Chung
Christopher Ciafardini
Alex F. Ciccone
Frances Ann Cilente
Elaine Cillo
Edna Cintron
Nestor Andre Cintron III
Robert Dominick Cirri
Juan Pablo Cisneros-Alvarez
Benjamin Keefe Clark
Eugene Clark
Gregory Alan Clark
Mannie Leroy Clark
Thomas R. Clark
Christopher Robert Clarke
Donna Marie Clarke
Michael J. Clarke
Suria Rachel Emma Clarke
Kevin Francis Cleary
James D. Cleere
Geoffrey W. Cloud
Susan Marie Clyne
Steven Coakley
Jeffrey Alan Coale
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Daniel W. McNeal
Walter Arthur McNeil
Jisley McNish
Christine Sheila McNulty
Sean Peter McNulty
Robert McPadden
Terence A. McShane
Timothy Patrick McSweeney
Martin E. McWilliams
Rocco A. Medaglia
Abigail Cales Medina
Ana Iris Medina
Deborah Louise Medwig
Damian Meehan
William J. Meehan
Alok Mehta
Raymond Meisenheimer
Manuel Emilio Mejia
Eskedar Melaku
Antonio Melendez
Mary Melendez
Yelena Melnichenko
Stuart Todd Meltzer
Diarelia Jovanah Mena
Charles Mendez
Lizette Mendoza
Shevonne Olicia Mentis
Steven Mercado
Westly Mercer
Ralph Joseph Mercurio
Alan Harvey Merdinger
George L. Merino
Yamel Merino
George Merkouris
Deborah Merrick
Raymond Joseph Metz III
Jill Ann Metzler
David Robert Meyer
Nurul H. Miah
William Edward Micciulli
Martin Paul Michelstein
Peter Teague Milano
Gregory Milanowycz
Lukasz Tomasz Milewski
Sharon Christina Millan
Corey Peter Miller
Craig James Miller
Douglas Charles Miller
Henry Alfred Miller, Jr.
Joel Miller
Michael Matthew Miller
Philip D. Miller
Robert Alan Miller
Robert Cromwell Miller, Jr.
Benjamin Millman
Charles Morris Mills
Ronald Keith Milstein
Robert Minara
William George Minardi
Diakite Minata
Louis Joseph Minervino
Thomas Mingione
Wilbert Miraille
Dominick N. Mircovich
Rajesh Arjan Mirpuri
Joseph Mistrulli
Susan J. Miszkowicz
Paul Thomas Mitchell
Richard P. Miuccio
Frank V. Moccia, Sr.
Louis Joseph Modafferi
Boyie Mohammed
Dennis Mojica
Manuel Mojica
Kleber Molina
Manuel De Jesus Molina
Carl Molinaro
Justin Molisani
Brian Monaghan
Franklin Monahan
John Monahan
Kristen Montanaro
Craig Montano
Michael Montesi
Jeffrey Montgomery
Peter Montoulieu
Cheryl Ann Monyak
Thomas Moody
Sharon Moore
Krishna Moorthy
Abner Morales
Carlos Manuel Morales
Luis Morales
Paula E. Morales John Moran
John Chrisopher Moran
Kathleen Moran
Lindsay Stapleton Morehouse
George Morell
Steven P. Morello
Vincent S. Morello
Yvette Nicole Moreno
Dorothy Morgan
Richard Morgan
Nancy Morgenstern
Sanae Mori
Blanca Robertina Morocho
Leonel Geronimo Morocho
Dennis Gerard Moroney
Lynne Irene Morris
Seth Allan Morris
Stephen Philip Morris
Christopher Martel Morrison
Jorge Luis Morron Garcia
Ferdinand V. Morrone
William David Moskal
Marco Motroni
Cynthia Motus-Wilson
Iouri A. Mouchinski
Jude Joseph Moussa
Peter Moutos
Damion O'Neil Mowatt
Christopher Mozzillo
Stephen Vincent Mulderry
Richard Muldowney Jr
Michael D. Mullan
Dennis Michael Mulligan
Peter James Mulligan
Michael Joseph Mullin
James Donald Munhall
Nancy Muniz
Carlos Munoz
Frank Munoz
Theresa Munson
Robert M. Murach
Cesar Augusto Murillo
Marc A. Murolo
Brian Joseph Murphy
Charles Anthony Murphy
Christopher W. Murphy
Edward Charles Murphy
James F. Murphy Iv
James Thomas Murphy
Kevin James Murphy
Patrick Sean Murphy
Raymond E. Murphy
Robert Eddie Murphy, Jr.
John Joseph Murray
John Joseph Murray, Jr.
Susan D. Murray
Valerie Victoria Murray
Richard Todd Myhre
Robert B. Nagel
Takuya Nakamura
Alexander Napier
Frank Joseph Naples III
John Napolitano
Catherine Ann Nardella
Mario Nardone, Jr.
Manika K. Narula
Mehmood Naseem
Narender Nath
Karen Susan Navarro
Joseph Micheal Navas
Francis Joseph Nazario
Glenroy I. Neblett
Rayman Marcus Neblett
Jerome O. Nedd
Laurence Nedell
Luke G. Nee
Pete Negron
Ann N. Nelson
David William Nelson
James Nelson
Michele Ann Nelson
Peter Allen Nelson
Oscar Francis Nesbitt
Gerard Terence Nevins
Christopher Newton-Carter
Kapinga Ngalula
Nancy Yuen Ngo
Jody Nichilo
Martin S. Niederer
Alfonse Joseph Niedermeyer
Frank John Niestadt, Jr.
Gloria Nieves
Juan Nieves, Jr.
Troy Edward Nilsen
Paul Nimbley
John B. Niven
Katherine Marie Noack
Curtis Terrance Noel
Daniel R. Nolan
Robert Noonan
Daniela R. Notaro
Brian Christopher Novotny
Soichi Numata
Brian Felix Nunez
Jose Nunez
Jeffrey Roger Nussbaum
Dennis O'Berg
James P. O'Brien, Jr.
Michael P. O'Brien
Scott J. O'Brien
Timothy Michael O'Brien
Daniel O'Callaghan
Dennis James O'Connor, Jr.
Diana J. O'Connor
Keith Kevin O'Connor
Richard J. O'Connor
Amy O'Doherty
Marni Pont O'Doherty
James Andrew O'Grady
Thomas O'Hagan
Patrick J. O'Keefe
William O'Keefe
Gerald O'leary
Matthew Timothy O'Mahony
Peter J. O'Neill, Jr.
Sean Gordon O'Neill
Kevin O'Rourke
Patrick J. O'Shea
Robert William O'Shea
Timothy F. O'Sullivan
James A. Oakley
Douglas E. Oelschlager
Takashi Ogawa
Albert Ogletree
Philip Paul Ognibene
Joseph J. Ogren
Samuel Oitice
Gerald Michael Olcott
Christine Anne Olender
Linda Mary Oliva
Edward Kraft Oliver
Leah E. Oliver
Eric T. Olsen
Jeffrey James Olsen
Maureen Lyons Olson
Steven John Olson
Toshihiro Onda
Seamus L. O'Neal
John P. Oneill
Frank Oni
Michael C. Opperman
Christopher Orgielewicz
Margaret Orloske
Virginia Anne Ormiston
Ronald Orsini
Peter Ortale
Juan Ortega-Campos
Alexander Ortiz
David Ortiz
Emilio Ortiz, Jr.
Pablo Ortiz
Paul Ortiz, Jr.
Sonia Ortiz
Masaru Ose
Elsy C. Osorio
James R. Ostrowski
Jason Douglas Oswald
Michael Otten
Isidro D. Ottenwalder
Michael Chung Ou
Todd Joseph Ouida
Jesus Ovalles
Peter J. Owens, Jr.
Adianes Oyola
Angel M. Pabon
Israel Pabon, Jr.
Roland Pacheco
Michael Benjamin Packer
Rene Padilla-Chavarria
Deepa Pakkala
Jeffrey Matthew Palazzo
Thomas Palazzo
Richard Palazzolo
Orio J. Palmer
Frank Anthony Palombo
Alan N. Palumbo
Christopher Matthew Panatier
Dominique Lisa Pandolfo
Paul J. Pansini
John M. Paolillo
Edward Joseph Papa
Salvatore T. Papasso
James Nicholas Pappageorge
Vinod Kumar Parakat
Vijayashanker Paramsothy
Nitin Parandkar
Hardai Parbhu
James Wendell Parham
Debra Marie Paris
George Paris
Gye Hyong Park
Philip Lacey Parker
Michael Alaine Parkes
Robert E. Parks, Jr.
Hashmukhrai C. Parmar
Robert Parro
Diane Marie Parsons
Leobardo Lopez Pascual
Michael Pascuma
Jerrold Paskins
Horace Robert Passananti
Suzanne H. Passaro
Avnish Ramanbhai Patel
Dipti Patel
Manish Patel
Steven Bennett Paterson
James Matthew Patrick
Manuel D. Patrocino
Bernard E. Patterson
Cira Marie Patti
Robert E. Pattison
James Robert Paul
Patrice Paz
Victor Paz-Gutierrez
Stacey Lynn Peak
Richard Allen Pearlman
Durrell V. Pearsall
Thomas Pedicini
Todd Douglas Pelino
Michel Adrian Pelletier
Anthony G. Peluso
Angel Ramon Pena
Richard Al Penny
Salvatore F. Pepe
Carl Peralta
Robert David Peraza
Jon A. Perconti
Alejo Perez
Angel Perez, Jr.
Angela Susan Perez
Anthony Perez
Ivan Perez
Nancy E. Perez
Joseph John Perroncino
Edward J. Perrotta
Emelda H. Perry
Glenn C. Perry
John William Perry
Franklin Allan Pershep
Danny Pesce
Michael John Pescherine
Davin Peterson
William Russell Peterson
Mark Petrocelli
Philip Scott Petti
Glen Kerrin Pettit
Dominick Pezzulo
Kaleen Elizabeth Pezzuti
Kevin Pfeifer
Tu-Anh Pham
Kenneth Phelan
Sneha Ann Philips
Gerard Phillips
Suzette Eugenia Piantieri
Ludwig John Picarro
Matthew M. Picerno
Joseph Oswald Pick
Christopher Pickford
Dennis J. Pierce
Bernard Pietronico
Nicholas P. Pietrunti
Theodoros Pigis
Susan Elizabeth Pinto
Joseph Piskadlo
Christopher Todd Pitman
Joshua Piver
Joseph Plumitallo
John Pocher
William Howard Pohlmann
Laurence Polatsch
Thomas H. Polhemus
Steve Pollicino
Susan M. Pollio
Joshua Iousa Poptean
Giovanna Porras
Anthony Portillo
James Edward Potorti
Daphne Pouletsos
Richard N. Poulos
Stephen Emanual Poulos
Brandon Jerome Powell
Shawn Edward Powell
Antonio Pratt
Gregory M. Preziose
Wanda Ivelisse Prince
Vincent Princiotta
Kevin Prior
Everett Martin Proctor III
Carrie Beth Progen
Sarah Prothero-Redheffer
David Lee Pruim
Richard Prunty
John Foster Puckett
Robert David Pugliese
Edward F. Pullis
Patricia Ann Puma
Hemanth Kumar Puttur
Edward R. Pykon
Christopher Quackenbush
Lars Peter Qualben
Lincoln Quappe
Beth Ann Quigley
Michael Quilty
James Francis Quinn
Ricardo J. Quinn
Carlos Quishpe-Cuaman
Carol Millicent Rabalais
Christopher Peter A. Racaniello
Leonard J. Ragaglia
Eugene Raggio
Laura Marie Ragonese-Snik
Michael Ragusa
Peter Frank Raimondi
Harry A. Raines
Ehtesham Raja
Valsa Raju
Edward Rall
Lukas Rambousek
Maria Ramirez
Harry Ramos
Vishnoo Ramsaroop
Lorenzo E. Ramzey
Alfred Todd Rancke
Adam David Rand
Jonathan C. Randall
Srinivasa Shreyas Ranganath
Anne T. Ransom
Faina Aronovna Rapoport
Robert A. Rasmussen
Amenia Rasool
Roger Mark Rasweiler
David Alan Rathkey
William Ralph Raub
Gerard P. Rauzi
Alexey Razuvaev
Gregory Reda
Michele Reed
Judith Ann Reese
Donald J. Regan
Robert M. Regan
Thomas Michael Regan
Christian Michael Otto Regenhard
Howard Reich
Gregg Reidy
James Brian Reilly
Kevin O. Reilly
Timothy E. Reilly
Joseph Reina, Jr.
Thomas Barnes Reinig
Frank Bennett Reisman
Joshua Scott Reiss
Karen Renda
John Armand Reo
Richard Cyril Rescorla
John Thomas Resta
Luis Clodoaldo Revilla
Eduvigis Reyes, Jr.
Bruce Albert Reynolds
John Frederick Rhodes
Francis Saverio Riccardelli
Rudolph N. Riccio
Ann Marie Riccoboni
David H. Rice
Eileen Mary Rice
Kenneth Frederick Rice III
Vernon Allan Richard
Claude Daniel Richards
Gregory David Richards
Michael Richards
Venesha Orintia Richards
James C. Riches
Alan Jay Richman
John M. Rigo
Theresa Risco
Rose Mary Riso
Moises N. Rivas
Joseph Rivelli
Carmen Alicia Rivera
Isaias Rivera
Juan William Rivera
Linda Ivelisse Rivera
David E. Rivers
Joseph R. Riverso
Paul V. Rizza
John Frank Rizzo
Stephen Louis Roach
Joseph Roberto
Leo Arthur Roberts
Michael Roberts
Michael Edward Roberts
Donald Walter Robertson, Jr.
Catherina Robinson
Jeffery Robinson
Michell Lee Jean Robotham
Donald A. Robson
Antonio A. Rocha
Raymond James Rocha
Laura Rockefeller
John Rodak
Antonio J. Rodrigues
Anthony Rodriguez
Carmen Milagros Rodriguez
Gregory Ernesto Rodriguez
Marsha A. Rodriguez
Mayra Valdes Rodriguez
Richard Rodriguez
David Bartolo Rodriguez-Vargas
Matthew Rogan
Karlie Barbara Rogers
Scott Williams Rohner
Keith Roma
Joseph M. Romagnolo
Efrain Romero, Sr.
Elvin Romero
Juan Romero
Orozco James A. Romito
Sean Paul Rooney
Eric Thomas Ropiteau
Aida Rosario
Angela Rosario
Wendy Alice Rosario Wakeford
Mark Rosen
Brooke David Rosenbaum
Linda Rosenbaum
Sheryl Lynn Rosenbaum
Lloyd Daniel Rosenberg
Mark Louis Rosenberg
Andrew Ira Rosenblum
Joshua M. Rosenblum
Joshua Alan Rosenthal
Richard David Rosenthal
Daniel Rosetti
Norman S. Rossinow
Nicholas P. Rossomando
Michael Craig Rothberg
Donna Marie Rothenberg
Nicholas Rowe
Timothy Alan Roy, Sr.
Paul G. Ruback
Ronald J. Ruben
Joanne Rubino
David M. Ruddle
Bart Joseph Ruggiere
Susan A. Ruggiero
Adam Keith Ruhalter
Gilbert Ruiz
Obdulio Ruiz Diaz
Stephen P. Russell
Steven Harris Russin
Michael Thomas Russo, Sr.
Wayne Alan Russo
Edward Ryan
John Joseph Ryan, Jr.
Jonathan Stephan Ryan
Matthew Lancelot Ryan
Tatiana Ryjova
Christina Sunga Ryook
Thierry Saada
Jason Elazar Sabbag
Thomas E. Sabella
Scott Saber
Joseph Francis Sacerdote
Neeraha Sadaranghgani
Mohammad Ali Sadeque
Francis John Sadocha
Jude Safi
Brock Joel Safronoff
Edward Saiya
John Patrick Salamone
Hernando Salas
Juan G. Salas
Esmerlin Antonio Salcedo
John Salvatore Salerno, Jr.
Richard L. Salinardi, Jr.
Wayne John Saloman
Nolbert Salomon
Catherine Patricia Salter
Frank Salvaterra
Paul Richard Salvio
Samuel Robert Salvo, Jr.
Rena Sam-Dinnoo
Carlos Alberto Samaniego
James Kenneth Samuel, Jr.
Michael San Phillip
Sylvia San Pio
Hugo M. Sanay
Erick Sanchez
Jacquelyn Patrice Sanchez
Eric M. Sand
Stacey Leigh Sanders
Herman S. Sandler
James Sands, Jr.
Ayleen J. Santiago
Kirsten Santiago
Maria Theresa Santillan
Susan Gayle Santo
Christopher Santora
John A. Santore
Mario L. Santoro
Rafael Humberto Santos
Rufino Conrado Flores Santos Iii
Jorge Octavio Santos Anaya
Kalyan Sarkar
Chapelle R. Sarker
Paul F. Sarle
Deepika Kumar Sattaluri
Gregory Thomas Saucedo
Susan M. Sauer
Anthony Savas
Vladimir Savinkin
Jackie Sayegh
John Michael Sbarbaro
Robert L. Scandole, Jr.
Michelle Scarpitta
Dennis Scauso
John Albert Schardt
John G. Scharf
Frederick Claude Scheffold, Jr.
Angela Susan Scheinberg
Scott Mitchell Schertzer
Sean Schielke
Steven Francis Schlag
Jon Schlissel
Karen Helene Schmidt
Ian Schneider
Thomas G. Schoales
Frank G. Schott, Jr.
Gerard Patrick Schrang
Jeffrey H. Schreier
John T. Schroeder
Susan Lee Schuler
Edward William Schunk
Mark E. Schurmeier
Clarin Shellie Schwartz
John Burkhart Schwartz
Mark Schwartz
Adriane Victoria Scibetta
Raphael Scorca
Randolph Scott
Sheila Scott
Christopher Jay Scudder
Arthur Warren Scullin
Michael Herman Seaman
Margaret M. Seeliger
Anthony Segarra
Carlos Segarra
Jason Sekzer
Matthew Carmen Sellitto
Howard Selwyn
Larry John Senko
Arturo Angelo Sereno
Frankie Serrano
Alena Sesinova
Adele Christine Sessa
Sita Nermalla Sewnarine
Karen Lynn Seymour
Davis Sezna
Thomas Joseph Sgroi
Jayesh S. Shah
Khalid M. Shahid
Mohammed Shajahan
Gary Shamay
Earl Richard Shanahan
Neil Shastri
Kathryn Anne Shatzoff
Barbara A. Shaw
Jeffrey James Shaw
Robert John Shay, Jr.
Daniel James Shea
Joseph Patrick Shea
Linda Sheehan
Hagay Shefi
John Anthony Sherry
Atsushi Shiratori
Thomas Joseph Shubert
Mark Shulman
See Wong Shum
Allan Abraham Shwartzstein
Johanna Sigmund
Dianne T. Signer
Gregory Sikorsky
Stephen Gerard Siller
David Silver
Craig A. Silverstein
Nasima Hameed Simjee
Bruce Edward Simmons
Arthur Simon
Kenneth Alan Simon
Michael J. Simon
Paul Joseph Simon
Marianne Teresa Simone
Barry Simowitz
Jeff Lyal Simpson
Khamladai Singh
Kulwant Singh
Roshan Ramesh Singh
Thomas E. Sinton III
Peter A. Siracuse
Muriel Fay Siskopoulos
Joseph Michael Sisolak
John P. Skala
Francis Joseph Skidmore, Jr.
Toyena Skinner
Paul A. Skrzypek
Christopher Paul Slattery
Vincent Robert Slavin
Robert F. Sliwak
Paul K. Sloan
Stanley S. Smagala, Jr.
Wendy L. Small
Catherine Smith
Daniel Laurence Smith
George Eric Smith
James Gregory Smith
Jeffrey R. Smith
Joyce Patricia Smith
Karl T. Smith
Keisha Smith
Kevin Joseph Smith
Leon Smith, Jr.
Moira Ann Smith
Rosemary A. Smith
Bonnie Jeanne Smithwick
Rochelle Monique Snell
Leonard J. Snyder, Jr.
Astrid Elizabeth Sohan
Sushil S. Solanki
Ruben Solares
Naomi Leah Solomon
Daniel W. Song
Michael Charles Sorresse
Fabian Soto
Timothy Patrick Soulas
Gregory Spagnoletti
Donald F. Spampinato, Jr.
Thomas Sparacio
John Anthony Spataro
Robert W. Spear, Jr.
Maynard S. Spence, Jr.
George Edward Spencer III
Robert Andrew Spencer
Mary Rubina Sperando
Tina Spicer
Frank Spinelli
William E. Spitz
Joseph Spor, Jr.
Klaus Johannes Sprockamp
Saranya Srinuan
Fitzroy St. Rose
Michael F. Stabile
Lawrence T. Stack
Timothy M. Stackpole
Richard James Stadelberger
Eric Stahlman
Gregory Stajk
Alexandru Liviu Stan
Corina Stan
Mary Domenica Stanley
Anthony Starita
Jeffrey Stark
Derek James Statkevicus
Craig William Staub
William V. Steckman
Eric Thomas Steen
William R. Steiner
Alexander Steinman
Andrew Stergiopoulos
Andrew Stern
Martha Stevens
Michael James Stewart
Richard H. Stewart, Jr.
Sanford M. Stoller
Lonny Jay Stone
Jimmy Nevill Storey
Timothy Stout
Thomas Strada
James J. Straine, Jr.
Edward W. Straub
George J. Strauch, Jr.
Edward T. Strauss
Steven R. Strauss
Steven F. Strobert
Walwyn W. Stuart, Jr.
Benjamin Suarez
David Scott Suarez
Ramon Suarez
Yoichi Sugiyama
William Christopher Sugra
Daniel Suhr
David Marc Sullins
Christopher P. Sullivan
Patrick Sullivan
Thomas Sullivan
Hilario Soriano Sumaya, Jr.
James Joseph Suozzo
Colleen Supinski
Robert Sutcliffe
Seline Sutter
Claudia Suzette Sutton
John Francis Swaine
Kristine M. Swearson
Brian Edward Sweeney
Kenneth J. Swenson
Thomas Swift
Derek Ogilvie Sword
Kevin Thomas Szocik
Gina Sztejnberg
Norbert P. Szurkowski
Harry Taback
Joann Tabeek
Norma C. Taddei
Michael Taddonio
Keiichiro Takahashi
Keiji Takahashi
Phyllis Gail Talbot
Robert Talhami
Sean Patrick Tallon
Paul Talty
Maurita Tam
Rachel Tamares
Hector Tamayo
Michael Andrew Tamuccio
Kenichiro Tanaka
Rhondelle Cheri Tankard
Michael Anthony Tanner
Dennis Gerard Taormina, Jr.
Kenneth Joseph Tarantino
Allan Tarasiewicz
Ronald Tartaro
Darryl Anthony Taylor
Donnie Brooks Taylor
Lorisa Ceylon Taylor
Michael Morgan Taylor
Paul A. Tegtmeier
Yeshauant Tembe
Anthony Tempesta
Dorothy Pearl Temple
Stanley Temple
David Tengelin
Brian John Terrenzi
Lisa M. Terry
Shell Tester
Goumatie T. Thackurdeen
Sumati Thakur
Harshad Sham Thatte
Thomas F. Theurkauf, Jr.
Lesley Anne Thomas
Brian Thomas Thompson
Clive Thompson
Glenn Thompson
Nigel Bruce Thompson
Perry A. Thompson
Vanavah Alexei Thompson
William H. Thompson
Eric Raymond Thorpe
Nichola Angela Thorpe
Sal Edward Tieri, Jr.
John p Tierney
Mary Ellen Tiesi
William R. Tieste
Kenneth Francis Tietjen
Stephen Edward Tighe
Scott Charles Timmes
Michael E. Tinley
Jennifer M. Tino
Robert Frank Tipaldi
John James Tipping II
David Tirado
Hector Luis Tirado, Jr.
Michelle Lee Titolo
John J. Tobin
Richard Todisco
Vladimir Tomasevic
Stephen Kevin Tompsett
Thomas Tong
Doris Torres
Luis Eduardo Torres
Amy Elizabeth Toyen
Christopher Michael Traina
Daniel Patrick Trant
Abdoul Karim Traore
Glenn J. Travers
Walter Philip Travers
Felicia Y. Traylor-Bass
Lisa L. Trerotola
Karamo Trerra
Michael Angel Trinidad
Francis Joseph Trombino
Gregory James Trost
William P. Tselepis
Zhanetta Valentinovna Tsoy
Michael Tucker
Lance Richard Tumulty
Ching Ping Tung
Simon James Turner
Donald Joseph Tuzio
Robert T. Twomey
Jennifer Tzemis
John G. Ueltzhoeffer
Tyler V. Ugolyn
Michael A. Uliano
Jonathan J. Uman
Anil Shivhari Umarkar
Allen V. Upton
Diane Marie Urban
John Damien Vaccacio
Bradley Hodges Vadas
Renuta Vaidea
William Valcarcel
Felix Antonio Vale
Ivan Vale
Benito Valentin
Santos Valentin, Jr.
Carlton Francis Valvo II
Erica H. Van Acker
Kenneth W. Van Auken
Richard B. Van Hine
Daniel M. Van Laere
Edward Raymond Vanacore
Jon C. Vandevander
Barrett Vanvelzer, 4
Edward Vanvelzer
Paul Herman Vanvelzer
Frederick Thomas Varacchi
Gopalakrishnan Varadhan
David Vargas
Scott C. Vasel
Azael Ismael Vasquez
Arcangel Vazquez
Santos Vazquez
Peter Anthony Vega
Sankara S. Velamuri
Jorge Velazquez
Lawrence G. Veling
Anthony Mark Ventura
David Vera
Loretta Ann Vero
Christopher James Vialonga
Matthew Gilbert Vianna
Robert Anthony Vicario
Celeste Torres Victoria
Joanna Vidal
John T. Vigiano II
Joseph Vincent Vigiano
Frank J. Vignola, Jr.
Joseph Barry Vilardo
Sergio Villanueva
Chantal Vincelli
Melissa Vincent
Francine Ann Virgilio
Lawrence Virgilio
Joseph Gerard Visciano
Joshua S. Vitale
Maria Percoco Vola
Lynette D. Vosges
Garo H. Voskerijian
Alfred Vukosa
Gregory Kamal Bruno Wachtler
Gabriela Waisman
Courtney Wainsworth Walcott
Victor Wald
Benjamin James Walker
Glen Wall
Mitchel Scott Wallace
Peter Guyder Wallace
Robert Francis Wallace
Roy Michael Wallace
Jeanmarie Wallendorf
Matthew Blake Wallens
John Wallice, Jr.
Barbara P. Walsh
James Henry Walsh
Jeffrey P. Walz
Ching Wang
Weibin Wang
Michael Warchola
Stephen Gordon Ward
James Arthur Waring
Brian G. Warner
Derrick Washington
Charles Waters
James Thomas Waters, Jr.
Patrick J. Waters
Kenneth Thomas Watson
Michael Henry Waye
Todd Christopher Weaver
Walter Edward Weaver
Nathaniel Webb
Dinah Webster
Joanne Flora Weil
Michael T. Weinberg
Steven Weinberg
Scott Jeffrey Weingard
Steven George Weinstein
Simon Weiser
David M. Weiss
David Thomas Weiss
Vincent Michael Wells
Timothy Matthew Welty
Christian Hans Rudolf Wemmers
Ssu-Hui Wen
Oleh D. Wengerchuk
Peter M. West
Whitfield West, Jr.
Meredith Lynn Whalen
Eugene Whelan
Adam S. White
Edward James White III
James Patrick White
John Sylvester White
Kenneth Wilburn White, Jr.
Leonard Anthony White
Malissa Y. White
Wayne White
Leanne Marie Whiteside
Mark P. Whitford
Michael T. Wholey
Mary Catherine Wieman
Jeffrey David Wiener
Wilham J. Wik
Alison Marie Wildman
Glenn E. Wilkenson
John C. Willett
Brian Patrick Williams
Crossley Richard Williams, Jr.
David J. Williams
Deborah Lynn Williams
Kevin Michael Williams
Louie Anthony Williams
Louis Calvin Williams III
John P. Williamson
Donna Ann Wilson
William Wilson
David Harold Winton
Glenn J. Winuk
Thomas Francis Wise
Alan L. Wisniewski
Frank Thomas Wisniewski
David Wiswall
Sigrid Wiswe
Michael Wittenstein
Christopher W. Wodenshek
Martin P. Wohlforth
Katherine Susan Wolf
Jennifer Yen Wong
Siu Cheung Wong
Yin Ping Wong
Yuk Ping Wong
Brent James Woodall
James John Woods
Patrick J. Woods
Richard Herron Woodwell
David Terence Wooley
John Bentley Works
Martin Michael Wortley
Rodney James Wotton
William Wren
John Wayne Wright
Neil Robin Wright
Sandra Lee Wright
Jupiter Yambem
Suresh Yanamadala
Matthew David Yarnell
Myrna Yaskulka
Shakila Yasmin
Olabisi Shadie Layeni Yee
William Yemele
Edward P. York
Kevin Patrick York
Raymond R. York
Suzanne Youmans
Barrington Young
Jacqueline Young
Elkin Yuen
Joseph C. Zaccoli
Adel Agayby Zakhary
Arkady Zaltsman
Edwin J. Zambrana, Jr.
Robert Alan Zampieri
Mark Zangrilli
Ira Zaslow
Kenneth Albert Zelman
Abraham J. Zelmanowitz
Martin Morales Zempoaltecatl
Zhe Zeng
Marc Scott Zeplin
Jie Yao Justin Zhao
Ivelin Ziminski
Michael Joseph Zinzi
Charles A. Zion
Julie Lynne Zipper
Salvatore Zisa
Prokopios Paul Zois
Joseph J. Zuccala
Andrew S. Zucker
Igor Zukelman

List of Victims on American Airlines Flight 11

Anna Allison
David Lawrence Angell
Lynn Edwards Angell
Seima Aoyama
Barbara Jean Arestegui
Myra Joy Aronson
Christine Barbuto
Carolyn Beug
Kelly Ann Booms
Carol Marie Bouchard
Robin Lynne Kaplan
Neilie Anne Heffernan Casey
Jeffrey Dwayne Collman
Jeffrey W. Coombs
Tara Kathleen Creamer
Thelma Cuccinello
Patrick Currivan
Brian Paul Dale
David Dimeglio
Donald Americo Ditullio
Alberto Dominguez
Paige Marie Farley-Hackel
Alexander Milan Filipov
Carol Ann Flyzik
Paul J. Friedman
Karleton D.B. Fyfe
Peter Alan Gay
Linda M. George
Edmund Glazer
Lisa Reinhart Gordenstein
Andrew Peter Charles Curry Green
Peter Paul Hashem
Robert Jay Hayes
Edward R. Hennessy, Jr.
John A. Hofer
Cora Hidalgo Holland
John Nicholas Humber, Jr.
Waleed Joseph Iskandar
John Charles Jenkins
Charles Edward Jones
Barbara A. Keating
David P. Kovalcin
Judith Camilla Larocque
Natalie Janis Lasden
Daniel John Lee
Daniel M. Lewin
Sara Elizabeth Low
Susan A. Mackay
Karen Ann Martin
Thomas F. McGuinness, Jr.
Christopher D. Mello
Jeffrey Peter Mladenik
Carlos Alberto Montoya
Antonio Jesus Montoya Valdes
Laura Lee Morabito
Mildred Naiman
Laurie Ann Neira
Renee Lucille Newell
Kathleen Ann Nicosia
Jacqueline June Norton
Robert Grant Norton
John Ogonowski
Betty Ann Ong
Jane M. Orth
Thomas Nicholas Pecorelli
Berinthia B. Perkins
Sonia M. Puopolo
David E. Retik
Jean Destrehan Roger
Philip Martin Rosenzweig
Richard Barry Ross
Jessica Leigh Sachs
Rahma Salie
Heather Lee Smith
Dianne Bullis Snyder
Douglas Joel Stone
Xavier Suarez
Madeline Amy Sweeney
Michael Theodoridis
James Anthony Trentini
Mary Barbara Trentini
Pendyala Vamsikrishna
Mary Alice Wahlstrom
Kenneth Waldie
John Joseph Wenckus
Candace Lee Williams
Christopher Rudolph Zarba, Jr.

List of Victims on United Airlines Flight 93
Christian Adams
Lorraine G. Bay
Todd Beamer
Alan Beaven
Mark K. Bingham
Deora Frances Bodley
Sandra W. Bradshaw
Marion Britton
Thomas E. Burnett Jr.
William Cashman
Georgine Rose Corrigan
Patricia Cushing
Jason Dahl
Joseph Deluca
Patrick Driscoll
Edward Porter Felt
Jane C. Folger
Colleen Fraser
Andrew Garcia
Jeremy Glick
Lauren Grandcolas
Wanda A. Green
Donald F. Greene
Linda Gronlund
Richard Guadagno
Leroy Homer, Jr.
Toshiya Kuge
CeeCee Lyles
Hilda Marcin
Waleska Martinez
Nicole Miller
Louis J. Nacke, II
Donald Arthur Peterson
Jean Hoadley Peterson
Mark Rothenberg
Christine Snyder
John Talignani
Honor Elizabeth Wainio
Deborah Ann Jacobs Welsh
Kristin Gould White

hello, kettle

Everything is piling up right now and stress is taking over.

Yesterday I couldn't even go pee without returning to my office to find at least three people waiting for me.
I couldn't pick-up the phone to make an outgoing call because it wouldn't stop ringing long enough for me to do so. I had people trying to 'help' me, but all I wanted to do was tell them to go away and get away from my desk and computer because my heart was clenching so tight in my chest I was sure I was going to pop a vein.
I told people if they didn't need something to go away, I didn't have time for ideal chit-chat.
There were no smiles and there were no laughs coming from me yesterday. Or really in the last two weeks.

I think I scared a few people.
They certainly were timid in approaching my desk.
GGGGrrrrrrrrrrrr

Part of it was because I had only had two hours of sleep that night and I had reached a new level of stress that I don't want to know or reach again anytime soon.

Work is ridiculous but it will subside in another week or two.

School is beyond absurd at the moment and will be over in December.

Yesterday in the midst of my day I was told by Comb-Over Cal that I was crabby.
Now, Comb-Over Cal is in his mid-50's and should have retired 20 years ago. He is always crabby and his initial reaction to everything is to tear someone apart and sue the remains of the person he has shredded into tiny bloody little bits and left on the floor.

For some reason he and I get along.
I think it's because of my cynicism and I'm sure a big reason is my no nonsense approach to people. Basically, if I have a problem with someone or something I will say it to their face.
He appreciates this.

But to be told by Comb-Over Cal that I was crabby? Oh, hello, Kettle.

My mood instantly changed.

However, work is still ridiculous and school is still absurd. Plus, you know, life outside of work and school right now.

I'll explain why when I think my blood pressure can take it.

.......and back to Shakespeare. He's dead, right?

The Power of One: Steve Irwin

Because of his shear zest, zeal, passion, and joy for life and for animals.
Because each of us should have that much enthusiasm for what we do each day.
Because he educated all of us while making us laugh.
Because he loved his job.
Because I'm sure he didn't see it as a 'job.'
Because he died doing what he loved.
Because hopefully his wife and kids will remember him for his enthusiasm and pass it on with their lives.
Steve Irwin

what I'm looking for

A fellow blogger asked a series of questions about love and such. As I was answering I got to thinking.
Here are my answer to his questions about love and feelings and such.

Where: South Pacific, in a hut in the ocean. You know, one of those huts that's actually in the ocean? And it's always nice in the south pacific, so it's warm, but not unbearable.

We are naked. Both physically and emotionally, naked.

We are both in bed on clean white cotton sheets and we share everything that needs to be shared and that we want to share. It's completely open between us and there are no walls, no boundaries, no strings between us; it is completely open and honest between us.

The music is our words and conversation and the sounds are the ocean and the love and lust of our passion and love.

The smells are the ocean and our bodies, the sweet, sweet lovely smell of sweat, love, lust, and passion.

Food? It's not even a thought until we are starved.

Do I fall in love easily? Ah, no.
Lust? Crushes? Passion? Flirt? Oh, yeah.
I have a new crush almost everyday. I have a new flirt every hour.

Life is too much fun. Life is too short. Life is a verb. We should all have flirts, crushes and passions. We should all have the freedom to fall in love easily. Sadly, we have too many bad memories of past loves gone bad, past crushes crushing us.....

As I got to the last part about crushes crushing us I wondered, how and when did we become jaded? I mean, let's face it, we are a jaded crowd. Cynical too. Not saying there is anything wrong with it, just sayin'.
Did it happen in junior high with the cruelty of classmates? Did it happen because of our parent's failed marriage(s)? Did it happen because we were willing to go out on a limb only to have it sawed off while we were out on the end? Was it because we were cheated on, or were the cheater, one too many times? And really, how many times are too many or too few before we stop trusting when our partner sought sex and it wasn't with us?
I don't know. Maybe asking a question like, when did we become jaded is like asking, when did you fall in love with someone? I mean do we ever know when we fall in love with someone? Do we ever know the moment we fall out of love with someone, when the relationship is over, when we are ready to call it quits, when the relationship should and must end. The moment when we know it and then actually follow through with it.

I don't know. I do know what I'm looking for. Sure, of course, I have a laundry list of qualities and attributes I want my man to have, of course. I'll get to that another time, but I'm talking about feelings and emotions that I want with my man.
I want to be naked, physically and emotionally naked, completely open and unafraid. I want him to accept me, completely totally and whole-heartedly, accept me, me. Me for me and all of me. The good, the bad, the ugly, the hyper, the cynical, the enthusiastic, doe-eyed, wide-eyed, running into the world, woman that I am. I want to look into his eyes and see my reflection reflected back at me and be able to see and accept how he sees me, how he sees me in his eyes and how completely wonderful that is. Yep, that's it, that's what I want: I want a man who when I look in his eyes he sees the me that I want to see and the me that I am, the perfectly beautiful sexy flawed me and he loves every inch of it.

...and you? What are you all looking for?

hottie of the week: Duff Goldman

He's my new addiction on the Food Network, Ace of Cakes.
It's his shaved head, the flavor saver goatee, the little gut, and his cool, outgoing, doesn't crack under pressure, fun attitude.
Oh, and he cooks- bakes no less.
Yep, that pretty much does it for me.
Yeah, I know, I'm so easy to please.

oh, yeah, I'm cool

My new toy. Today was the first time I took them for a spin. After almost 30 years I was like a doe learning to stand for the first time and I'm sure I looked like one too. I had so much fun. I laughed a lot, I didn't fall once. I almost fell several times.


...and this is my cool wound. A nice little blister. Which is why I had to stop being cool.

I'm famous!

...and I didn't even know it.

I was stopped in the hall mere minutes ago.

Him: "Hey, congratulations!"
PG: "On what?"
Him: "On being published, on your story."
PG: "Ohmigosh! I didn't even know it was out!"
More praises of enthusiasm from him.

He starts to walk away...

Him: "It isn't true is it?"
Fuckity, fuck, fuck, this is what I was afraid of...
PG: "Um, it is if you want it to be, it's not if you don't want it to be."
Him: "Oh, now, c'mon, don't tell me that. I'm not an educated writer. Is it?"
With total hesitation, "Yeah, it's true. Unfortunately, it's true. It happened."
Even through his darkened sunglasses I can see sadness cross into his eyes and go through his mind. "Oh, I wouldn't have thought that. Well, keep it up. You're an excellent writer."
PG: "Well, thank you. It was the first thing I've written in about a decade, first thing I submitted. I have since sent other stories out to other publishers."
Him: "Good, good! It's amazing..."
He walks away.
I leave immediatly to go find some copies of the magazine. When I find one I flip it open, there I am, right after the cover, the title of my story and below it, my name. My name in print.
I have very mixed feelings about it being published, mostly because of the, "It isn't true, is it?" response and also if certain family members, namely my dad, saw it. However, how very fucking cool. My name is in print.

update: Here's the link to when Iposted the story previously on the blog

Hi, five dollar crack whore, here

...reference to previous post. You really should read me on a daily basis. Make the commitment to do so now.

So, I'm running here, there, to Kingdom Come, BFE, and everywhere in between today. Basically it's no different than the rest of the week. I'm very energetic, yet slightly shaky. I'm laughin', I'm chattin' I'm so perky and bubbly I'm like a Coke truck that's about ready to explode. I'm asked if I want some Mountain Dew with that cup o' Joe.
Finally, I sit down to eat lunch. "PLEASE," I tell myself, "no one interrupt me."
"Gosh, I'm hungry," zips through my brain as I burn away another calorie and "what's with the shakiness?" I think as I unzip my lunch box.
As I peer inside Betty Boop, it all becomes clear. Huh, there's my breakfast sitting there on top of my lunch. The beautiful 80 calorie yogurt with the smiling yellow label advertising the tang of the lemon creaminess inside.
And there comes the salavation just like a Pavlov dog
I dive taste buds first into my lunch. Breakfast can be my dessert.
...and the shakes stop.
The crack whore got her fix.

We interrupt this week's TNF to bring you the following story: PG, the vigilante, or why doing the right thing is so hard to do

...or why my life truly needs to be a TV show.

Last night I am finishing up my work-out when I hear a, rat-a-tat-tat on my front door.
I open the door and am greeted by someone (a very handsome young man) who is going door to door selling magazine subscriptions trying to raise money for a trip to London.
MMMmmmmmmmm, yummy. Tell me more.
Okay.
I listen to his shpeel, but he is more interested in flirting with me than he is in telling me what it is exactly he is trying to raise the money for and how he is going to raise the money.
I start asking questions.
Turns out the organization he is trying to raise the money for is the organization I work for.
So, I start asking more questions. In my mind I am also thinking, "Hey, wasn't there an email that went out earlier this week about this and didn't it state that it wasn't for real?"
But, "Philip" is still flirting with me.
I begin asking more questions.
I then tell him I work for the organization that he tells me he is representing.
His body language doesn't change.
(Oh...he's good.)
More flirting.
At one point I tell him he's slick, smooth.
He asks for money.
"Oh, nope sorry. I don't have any."
"Not even $10?"
"No, sorry."
"We'll hold your check for up to 14 business days."
"Yeah, gotta pass. Thanks"
Flirting comes to a complete stop. We shake hands. (Good firm handshake. I love a good handshake.)
He leaves.
I stand in my living room thinking, "Yeah, that was too smooth, too polished, too flirty. Email earlier in the week."
*Ding*
Light bulb.
I call the police.
I give them a complete description. 5'8, green eyes, blond hair, wearing a green M*A*S*H t-shirt, tattoos on his forearms, and top of his left foot. He was wearing flip-flops and his name is Philip. He's 23, just got out of the army and has a four-year-old daughter. He just crossed the street and he is heading east. (I could see his shadow out my second bedroom window) Operator was very impressed with my recall. (I was too to be honest) I told her he and I chatted it up. (One good thing about my personality- I get info from people.)
(So, yay! me.)
The police call me after they arrest him. They want to know if I bought any thing from him.
"No."
"Do you want to press charges?"
"I do." The officer seemed less than thrilled with this response. I found that odd, but whatever. It's the right thing to do, right? Plus, he was misrepresenting the organization I work for, therefore I kind of took it personally.
The officer tells me he isn't sure I can press charges since he didn't get any money from me.
He'll ask his Sergeant and call me back.
"O-Kay."
A few minutes later the officer calls me back. Do I still want to press charges? I ask him some questions: "Does he know it was me who called?" (Hello, single white female who lives alone?)
"No. But if you press charges you will have to appear in court and then he will know."
(Crap.)
Thinking.
Thinking.
Officer is talking in my ear and seems less than enthused about me pursuing this.
Still seems like the right thing to do.
"Yes, I want to proceed with charges."
They bring over the report for me to file. This officer (different than the one on the phone) seems even less thrilled that he had to come to my apartment and drop this off.) He explains it to me and tells me to call when I am finished and they will pick it up.
"Okay. Thanks."

I call my mom.
Mom, is proud of me, but less than thrilled that I am pressing charges. (Hello, single white female who lives alone.)
I'm starting to worry.

I call my girlfriend and tell her about the situation and ask her what she thinks I should do.
She is also less than thrilled that I am pursuing this. She wouldn't pursue it. Again, the single white female living alone is the predominate reason.

I start to panic a little.
Things from my past come to my mind.
Crap.
I thought I was doing the right thing.
I think I am doing the right thing.
Crap.
By the time I get off the phone with her I decide I am going to drop the charges.
I call the police to tell them the report is finished, however, I don't want to continue with charges.
The operator tells me she will have an officer call me.

A different officer calls a few minutes later.
He is SO much nicer than the previous two I have spoken with. He tells me they have already apprehended five individuals, three are currently sitting in jail and that by the time this is over the number of individuals that will press charges will be in the double digits. This is a pretty big fraud case right now.
"Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Then yes, I want to pursue charges. Thank you so much for this information and for easing my mind. I had no idea."

Even though I was proud of myself for calling the police and reporting Philip and my mind had been eased, I was worried that I wouldn't sleep last night. I was afraid that every little sound would jerk me awake.
I didn't wake up once. I was completely out all night.

This morning I sent out a company wide email informing everyone about the on-going fraud.
I told my co-worker. She was so proud. The first person to really congratulate me for actually being pro-active. That's all I was looking for. Someone to tell me I did the right thing, not scare me by saying, "Ah, you're jeopardizing your safety."
But see, that's why it's so hard to do the right thing. We don't back each other up in our decisions when we try to do the right thing. I worried about the individual figuring out it was me and coming back to my apartment not about how many people he ripped off and if there were others that out there ripping people off. Plus, the two people who I had spoken with, not to mention the officers, were less than thrilled about me following through with my decision. I mean, if someone is gusty enough to go door-to-door taking money then what else could they do?
(...and stop thinking about it...)

So, anyway, that was my night last night.

..and you?