Monday, July 31, 2006

Newsflash; Dateline Friday night, June 28th, 2006

This just in:

In the world of not Earth shaking or Earth shattering news, the bar scene is, stupid. The single scene is, stupid. Add the bar scene with the single scene, mix in some alcohol, and the stupidity ensues. Shake in a skinny, skinny, skinny, blonde girl who was desperate for any kind of attention combined with men of various ages and well, stupidity and annoyance was overflowing faster than cheap beer with a big head. Add in one single gal with big boobs and long dark hair who was fine and then all of a sudden really drunk and well, the annoyance threshold reached an all time high.
Find skinny girl going home with one gay man, but no one would listen to the wisdom of the big boob girl on this one, still waiting to hear about the outcome.
Big boob girl had beer spilt on her ass, and annoyance level reached an all time high. Realized she was drunk as a result of annoyance level.
Big boob girl somehow started giving out back rubs to friends. Became a focal point, but she wasn't paying attention to the onlookers. Zoned out at one point in the middle of giving a back rub to one of the males in the group of friends and went to happy, happy place. Perhaps this is why the onlookers were looking on.

Big boob girl maded it home around 3 a.m.
Slept until almost noon.
Calls it all good.
Starts to rethink bar scene.

No, epiphanies were found here.
Big boob girl promises to stop talking in the third person.

17 comments:

puerileuwaite said...

A bar where even a gay man can score with a hot blond chick, and sexually exotic big-breasted brunettes give backrubs?

Screw you, TGI Fridays! I'm off to find this Shangri-La!

Joefish said...

Joefish is entertained by big boob girl's third person perspective.

GirlGoyle said...

Oh...for a second i thought it was going to get ugly and Big Boob girl was going to squish skinny blond like a bug. All in all you did well if you woke up and didn't regret it. Don't u hate waking up the next day and wondering how the previous night went?

Party Girl said...

Big boob girl wanted to smack skinny blonde girl for most of the night.
She was high drama.
Big Boob girl doesn't care for drama.
Also, Big Boob girl was getting lots of comments on her big boobs.
At one point Big Boob girl shot her boobs like they were big guns and then blew them out.
Skinny blonde girl was jealous.
Big Boob girl told Skinny Girl that her boobs were blanks.
Big boob girl then threw her a bone and told her she had BB's for boobs.
Big boob girl also felt up and tuned in Tokyo a few times on Skinny girls boobies. She was nothing but nipple.
Big boob girl enjoyed the radio transmission part of the night.
Othan that, Big Boob girl wanted to smack Skinny girl into next week.

But, Skinny girl went home with a gay guy, so Big Boob girl feels all is right with the world.

TrappedInColorado said...

Yeah, and the massage you gave me was not all that great. I want my check back. Ah, hell. Keep the check. Buy more low cut blouses.

the bare frame said...

...and, despite the annoyance, a good time was had by all...

wait... won't you elaborate on the happy place?

Phollower said...

Phollower does not miss the bar scene at all. Except for maybe the occasional Big Boobed Girl playing radio on Skinny Girl's nipples. Phollower now has to buy videos for that.

puerileuwaite said...

Puerileuwaite now feels left out with everyone writing in third-person caveman speak. But Puerileuwaite also fondly remembers wild bar days, where "nothing but nipple" radio transmissions and other debauchery were standard entertainment.

Mikey said...

Want me to send you some prozac because of the third person? XXXOOO Mikey

jmeped said...

I love gay guys, and big boobs. Hey, wait this sounds like my weekends. "tuned in boobies" lol!

Bre said...

If she didn't pay attention, she certainly got what she deserved! :)

Tom Serafini, Actor to the Stars! said...

You have big boobs, er, I mean she has big boobs?

Learn something new every day...

Mark said...

Was back rub given by Big Boobed Girls' boobs? That would put me in a happy place.

Party Girl said...

P: I'll see you this weekend.

Joefish: Sometimes I just need to be a third person. I need to take myself out of the picture.

GG: The kind of smack-down that requires the heels to be kicked off and the earrings taken out?!?!?!

Trapped: Funny, not what you said on Friday. I remember there being something about more promises of money and trips to Europe. Just sayin.'

Bare frame: Sadly, strangely, true.

Phollower: Big boob girl agrees with Phollower that the bar scene does get quite old. Videos can be a good subsitute, except when Big Boob Girl in them and she doesn't know it.

P: Me, like Caveman speak every now and again. *beats chest and pulls own hair*

Mikey: Naw, ruins the sex drive. Got anything else?

Jmp: My weekend all the time. Not saying I mind nec. Just sayin'.

Bre: Exactly my sentiments.

Tom: That's why you need to read me everyday.

Mark: Ohhhhhhhhhh, perhaps that's why the onlookers were looking on!

sonia said...

You need more excitement in your life. Don't be shy. Let yourself loose...

Next time, the big-breasted brunette should try to kiss the skinny blond chick, and see what happens next...

Party Girl said...

Sonia: Shyness is not a problem of mine.

puerileuwaite said...

Then I would like to suggest a new PG icon in the same pose as Sonia's.