Monday, July 24, 2006

sick and twisted, twisted and sick

So, I'm on my 80 mile cross country stint last night, also known as my twice a week pilgrimage to school, when my mind has naturally drifted off to its happy place, sex.
I come upon a minivan with a very dirty back window. What should be written in the loveliest Catholic schoolgirl handwriting in the dirt on the back window of the minivan?

"I love baby goats."

I, of course, immediately start to giggle.

I'm wondering why this is written on the back of the minivan's dirty window.

I pass the minivan to see what the driver of the baby goat love looks like.

The driver is a middle-aged man looking very pensive as he drives down the highway of baby goat love.

I then spend the next 30 seconds coming up with a back-story for the pensive baby goat lover.

He is a high school math teacher who has made an unwelcome and very inappropriate advance on one of his students. She, in return, wrote the, baby goat love, on the back of his window.

I feel it was well justified.


TrappedInColorado said...

Nope.. not the right back story at all..way off.

He was a designer of women's clothes. His new fall designs involved new cashmere from baby goats... Neiman Marcus bought the designs... he was pensive due to the fact that he was trying to come up with how he was going to tell his wife that he was leaving her for the Prada wearing nymph that worked with him day and night to get the design done in time. He has to do it just right due to the fact that his wife's brother is a high ranking police officer and body builder with anger management issues. The nymph wrote it on the van as a little love note to him.

Yeap. That's the truth.

Joefish said...

I say it was written by a very jealous baby sheep.

GirlGoyle said...

I say your story is quite justified. Seems like it might have been written by someone who did not like the old goat.

Phollower said...

Actually, the writer was stopped before he could finish. The full message would have read: "I love baby goats with a light hollandaise sauce."

Pyrhonik said...

It's way funny where a person's mind goes during a long highway ride!

Askinstoo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Phollower said...

Ummm, yeah. I'll click myself right on over.

puerileuwaite said...

Too bad it didn't say "I Love Billy Goats". It would've been a most excellent double-entendre, provided there's a reservation close by.

Old Man Crowder said...

My first thought was that this poor, lonely man wrote it himself in hopes that some young, cute girl (perhaps such as yourself) would stop and ask him about the true meaning of the phrase.

Having a conversation with a girl would just make his day!

(Either that, or go with what phollower said...)

Tom Serafini, Actor to the Stars! said...

I coulda done it.

Party Girl said...

Trapped: Ah, Prada and their love of the goat. Yes, they are fancy pants like that, as they make fancy pants, and they call it, 'the goat.'

Joefish: Baaa-aad Very, very Baaa-aad.

GG: Or the pensive middle-aged one.

Phollower: Mmm, tasty. Has a bit of a twang to it.

Py: Oh, if you only new the places mine went.

P: I actually thought of that one after I posted it. However, blogger being what it is...

OMC: You know, I bet you're right. Damn it! Another chance lost.

Hawt Meat: I KNEW it was you! Damn it! Again, I should have stopped. Or at least stopped laughing and pointing. It was beacause of your hawtness, I swear.