Thursday, August 24, 2006

inner dork: insomnia and virginity

(It's a two for the price of one dorking.)

It's claimed that the cause of Sir Isaac Newton's acute insomnia was sexual frustration.
He died a virgin.

(So, what, he was up masturbating all night?)

(You'd think a man of his stature and success would be able to get himself some.) (just sayin'.)

Now, go have sex or you risk sleeplessness.


puerileuwaite said...

Perhaps that is how he REALLY discovered gravity. I always thought the apple story was bullshit. You must remember, this WAS in the days before Viagra.

And I am frequently up all night worrying about my virginity. How this situation ever got out of hand, I'll never know.

gone said...

You mean I've been wasting $$$ on Imovane?

Joefish said...

I am positively atwitter at having been double dorked.

Jay said...

Many a night a lay awake, hand on cock, awaiting the day I meet the fair maiden, Party Girl. We shall eat tacos and drink good beer and then get crazy with the cheeze whiz until the break of dawn...

... that and we'll have sex. ;P

Two dorks in one week?! Ouch!

JustTerry said...

well this explains the bags under my eyes... my sallow complexion... my huge right forearm... and the caluses

AngryMan said...

Nah, Newton would have had a hard time getting any. He was well-known for being a total jerk to everyone. No one liked him, except maybe his momma, but that's doubtful.

Bre said...

Poor Newton!!!

Party Girl said...

P: He discovered it because he was horny? His dick wouldn't go down?

Cooper: Put the money back in your wallet and go have sex.

Joe: I know, it makes my brain hurt.

Jay: a good beer, tacos, and sex? Color me happily speechless.
Can we have sex first and then have the beer and tacos? Well, and then have sex again, of course.

Justterry: That explains the muscles in my thighs and my ability to control my kegals.

angry: Well, I guess at least he and his mamma didn't get it on, that'd be a whole new spin on history.

Bre: No, doubt.

THE DUKE said...

I get plenty of sex and I'm still an insomniac. WTF?? Actually, I do sleep a little better after a good shagging.

AeroAangel said...

well that might explain my severe insomnia in college...all i really needed was more sex? humm...surprisingly one of the only things i did NOT try during the year and half that i didn't sleep at all!

AngryMan said...

Yep, you all need to have more sex. That, or chew some valerian (sp?) root.