Monday, February 26, 2007

ready to pee my pants

Today is my defense date.

At 3:30.

Which means I will leave work by 1:45.

It's currently 12:06.

I need to run home.
Change clothes to get all pretty and professional and stuff.
Run to the post office.
Actually, run to the post office needs to come before, run home and get all pretty and professional and stuff.
Stop at local campus to pick up textbook for tonight's class.
Drive an hour, but not be rushed, so allow myself extra time to get there.
Give defense at 3:30 in front of an entire department, which I have never met, nor have any of them ever taught me.
Give defense.
Find something to keep me occupied until 6:00, which is when my class starts. My last class. My last class!!!!!!

Hmm, maybe I should leave work by 1:30. Leave my house no later than 2:15 to get to Big Private College by 3:20-ish.

It's currently 12:08.

Ball of nervous energy.

I need to pee.

My co-workers keep asking me when I'm leaving as I keep looking at the clock.

It's 12:08.

Please, please, please, please let this go well.

Please, please, please, please, let me get an A.

I deserve an A.

I worked my ass off.

Well, not really as I am currently sitting on my ass. But, my ass is much thinner than it was when this process started.
But so are my boobs. Well, not thinner as boobs can't technically get thinner, but smaller. Amazing what less-stress and actually having free time can do for the bod.

12:09.

(Tap, tap, tap, go my fingernails on my desk.)
12:10.

Please, let me get and A.

Let me have an honest, no rehearsed sounding, eloquent answer for all of their questions.

For all those questions that I have no idea of what will be asked.

(Tap, tap, tap.)

12:11.

Last night two of the dreams I remember having are: That I lost all of my teeth, which is a reoccurring dream for me. I am a teeth person. I notice teeth. A person's teeth says a lot about their appearance. A reoccurring dream about losing teeth says, that I am conscious of my appearance.

Second dream: That someone broke into my apartment and left my patio doors wide open. There was a brisk wind blowing through and the intruder left a bottle of Wish Bone salad dressing on my balcony.
No shit.
Seriously.
I yelled, "What do you want? Where are you?!?!!?"
...and, scene.
What do you suppose that means?

Ugh.

Wish me luck.
Hmm, maybe that's my Wish Bone. Maybe I'm asking for a wish bone. Anyone got one?

My ass and my GPA will be on the line at 3:30.

I think I'll need a wish bone right about then.

5 comments:

limpy99 said...

Good luck. And the correct answer is always "42"

Old Man Crowder said...

Thesis defense -- never a fun time, but I think most tend to go pretty well.

It's after 3:30, so I assume you're all finished and out celebrating.

Hope all went well.

Bre said...

Knowing you I'm assuming it was fabulous and I can't wait to hear!

GirlGoyle said...

Don't stress over the defense too much. they are normally just a formality. think that the department never even bothered to read your thesis (which is actually the part that pisses me off the most!) so you are ultimately the one in control. and if all else fails...just imagine them in their underwear. You'll do fine!

Phollower said...

Damn, I'm too late. For most people, imagining your audience in their underwear is a good thing. For you however, that could end up being way more distracting than it's worth. If it helps, they were probably doing the same thing to you.

42 you say? Hmmm, I hadn't considered it before but that just might be the answer to life, the universe and everything. I'll have to check on it and get back to you.