Thursday, February 01, 2007

inner dork: hodge-podge

Oh, I love a good dorking!

Did you know...

Some Eskimos have been known to use refrigerators to keep their food from freezing.
(Hmmm, I find that very perplexing for some reason.)

A typical double mattress contains as many as two million dust mites.
(Scratchy. Itchy. Is there a difference between being scratchy or itchy?)

Mixing Sani-Flush and Comet cleaners has been known to cause explosions.
(Do not attempt this tonight. ..and if you do, I know nothing about it. Actually, if you have video footage or photos of said explosion, please share.)

Ketchup is excellent for cleaning brass, especially tarnished or corroded brass.
(Oddly enough the consumption of french fries goes up 33% after a person uses this cleaning method.)

Ramses brand condom is named after the great Pharaoh Ramses II, who fathered more than 160 children.
(I think I'll stick with Trojans. Ramses condoms don't seem to prevent pregnancy very well.)

Four thousand people are injured by teapots every year.
(I guess they don't know the song, "I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. I think if people sung this it would help prevent injuries.)

One hundred people chock on ballpoint pens every year.
(Okay, one questions: how? Are they demonstrating the gag reflex or what? I guess that's more like three questions, but whatever.)

Most toilets flush in E flat.
(Can anyone verify this? I wonder if a song can be written to the tune of toilets flushing. Anyone want to help me on this one?)

Four thousand Americans are injured by toilets every year.
(Again, how? Is it just Americans or are other countries more or less prone to toilet injuries?)

Eating chocolate was once considered a temptation of the devil.
(Hmm, call me a sinner. I sin a lot. I sin everyday after lunch. Yet, strangely enough I don't feel the least bit bad about that.)


Bre said...

I'm dying to know exactly what type of teapot injuries these are...

limpy99 said...

Who doesn't love a good dorking?

Uh, that's a euphemism right?

Phollower said...

An identical number of teapot and toilet injuries, huh? You don't suppose they're somehow related do you? Or that those 4,000 people are using one item as both teapot and toilet and calling it 2 separate injuries?

Party Girl said...

Bre: That makes two of us.

Limpy: Dork actually used to mean, whale's penis.

Ph: Hmmm, that's a good question. I will have to get back to you on that one.
Maybe the accidents are a result of drinking tea while on the toilet?

GirlGoyle said...

I'm sitting here trying to figure out what exactly constitutes a toilet injury. As in they slip and accidentally flush themselves away or what? Cuz that...I'd like to see.

limpy99 said...

I wonder if whales have any toilet injuries.