Monday, April 17, 2006

so he says: soul mates

After some internal debate I decided to untie Redbloodedboy I felt I had worn him out enough that he would listen to what I had to say. I'm not usually one to dive into the deep conversations after a good romp, but last night was the exception.
We got on the subject of soul mates. I asked rbb what he thought about the whole one person for each person. That we have to find that one person when the stars are all aligned and such. He thought it was possible although he thought it was a slim chance.
I said, it was hooey. And frankly if I wasn't so tired I would have tied him back up until I was able to convince him otherwise, but I decided to let it go.

See, I think that there is someone out there for all of us, but seriously what are the chances that we'll meet that one right person, soul mate? The stars have to be aligned just right, we have to look and be at our best at all times, and well even I have a pissy day now and again. Not to mention we have to actually make eye contact and strike up a conversation with every person we meet in the off chance that the said person buying pork chops and apple sauce next to us at the grocery store may in fact be our soul mate.
Talk about pressure.

What if we met the right person when we were young, dumb, and not much older than 21 and were too self-absorbed to notice them or take what they had to say or their feelings seriously? Did we lose our chance?
Do we get a second chance?
Can you really get a second chance at a first chance missed encounter? No, because the past is already out there.

Do I think we can find the right person and make them what we want or we can change what we want because they are right in all the right things that we are looking for right then? Yes. It's called settling.

I think we call people into our lives.
Whether it's friends, co-workers, jobs, dates, sleeping partners, boyfriends and girlfriends. We call what we need into our lives. We put it out into the universe hoping it will come back to us.
When I've wanted someone to go out with and party with on the weekends I call it out into the universe and that person has come into my life.
When I've wanted amazing sex without strings or b.s. to go along with it, I've called it out, I've wished for it out in the universe, I've always found it.
I think we wish and call out for things and we find whatever it is we are looking for. Healthy or unhealthy I think we call it out to find us.

I will agree with RBB, he said that a soul mate doesn't necessarily have to be of the opposite sex, that a soul mate can be of the same sex it is just a sexless soul mate/friendship. I do agree with that. (He can surprise me sometimes that way) I've had girlfriends were I felt like we were one soul. On that same note my best friend Billy, who is gay, if I was a boy he would be all over me. Unfortunately for him, I'm not. However, he and I are as close as two people can be in thoughts, feelings, sense of humor and how we look and view the world. He came into my life when I was 19 and he was 24, we both desperately needed each other at the time in our lives. We've had our ups and downs, didn't talk for almost four years, but when we found each other again it was like we had just talked the day before. In a sense I think he and I are soul mates. Sexless, disco soul mates.

Do I think we can call out into the universe to find a soul mate? Sure, but the chances that that person will find me on the perfect day when I am in the perfect mood, looking to believe in such a thing and as I turn to the person standing next to me over the pork chops when I look at his ring finger before I ever even make eye contact and then strike up a conversation in the produce isle, well, even for little optimistic me that's too much to believe and hope in.

...and you?


JJ said...

Of course, if you fill out our personality profile...

I believe opposites attract and then you hold on for dear life, so "soul mate" to me doesn't mean someone who is just like me. It's someone I'm bonded to at the soul level.

GirlGoyle said...

Soulmate is someone in which your recognize yourself. Soulmate is that person with which you have an instant connection without the need for words. They do exist. They are out there. Unfortunately at times it's only one party that recognizes that as the other lives in ignorant bliss or denial. So you wait...and the waiting gets old and you move on to maybe something less perfect because it is in our nature to do so.

Jack's Shack said...

Soul mates exist, not a doubt in my mind. I firmly believe it.