Wednesday, January 31, 2007

the new profanity

*I want the word "like" to be listed as a profane word. I want it to be banned in all conversation. I want people to be fined if they repeat it more than five times within a sentence. I want a ruler to be provided in my hand, at all times, for me to whack someone upside the head when they repeat the word to the point that I have no idea what their original point was.
I don't want the four-letter word to be allowed into basic and decent conversation. If the word "like" it uttered as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, pronoun, preposition, comma, semi-colon, or a period I want to be allowed to tell the offensive person to shut the hell up and get out of my face.
I want "like" to go back to meaning a feeling. As in, "I really like the new flavor of K-Y Jelly." Not as in, "Like, that new, like, flavor of like, K-Y, like, Jelly? Yeah, I like really like that."

Oh. And up-talking. I want that banned also. Where a person ends everything as a question, or on an "up" note. As in, "Yeah, like, that new K-Y Jelly is like, awesome? I would really like some of that tonight? I would love it if that was by my bedside and rubbed all over when I get home from dinner tonight?

Yeah, I want all of the above rules to apply to them as well.

*This post is a direct result of an actual conversation I had with someone inquiring about a job. Blame them for my frustration.


Old Man Crowder said...

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the times, but I want to know what the hell it is that you do whereby job applicants discuss the new flavour of, like, K-Y Jelly!

Man, have I been missing out!

TrappedInColorado said...

right fucking on sister!!

Party Girl said...

OMC: 1-900 operator, duh.

Trapped:..and bless you, too.

So, what painting do you want?

Pyrhonik said...

You get nothing but an echo here!!!!

Drives me fuckin insane when someone has to interlace "like or you know" as every third word.

The up-talk is a new one for me, but I could see how that would become annoying very quickly! It seems such a vain attempt at perkiness. Would probably work too if the babe is a hottie with fantastic breasts :)

...ahem, like y'know!

swaroop said...

hehe... nice post there...
i actually came to this blog by googling Godel! and
found that someone posted about the frustration of *like* which I wanted to do for ages...