Tuesday, October 10, 2006

oh, but wait, there's more..

...and look it's raining, how apropos.

I talked about my day up until 9:45 a.m. here's how the rest of my day went. The short version: The story ends with me not graduating in December. Don't mean to ruin it for you, but, yeah.

Okay: I told you my feelings towards Java. To recap: no skin + rock salt= less painful.
But, hey who cares, I can stick it out for another eight weeks.
*Ding* thought: This class is meeting a requirement, doesn't that mean I have to receive at least a C- in the class? I wonder if that's possible. Hmm, I should call my advisor. Yep, I need to get at least a C-.
Hmm, (there's gonna be a lot of 'hmmm's' in this post. Just warning you.) with my GPA I should graduate with high honors. That C-, yeah, not gonna make honors.
I email my instructor and ask his thoughts on the possibility of that C-. (See last night we got our tests back. I was totally excited about my grade because I got five more correct than I thought I would, I was totally high-five'in' the guy next to me. I thought I only got 6 right, and I got 11. Whoo-hoo!
Oh, maybe I should point out that, that was out of 50. Go me!
The instructor pointed out that, I'm getting a 100% on the homework, but that test, well....

I dunno, something about an English major (me) in a computer class (them) that is like a nun and anal sex, just doesn't seem right. (Last night I had an epiphany about me and the class: I'm looking at the sea of people and they are all dressed in monochromatics. Then there's me. I'm in my stylish long black skirt, my black tank, and my darling bright pink circa 1954 button down cardigan. Not to mention my black stilettos with the pink stitching and my hooker hoop earrings. Hmm, who doesn't belong....which one, boys and girls who just doesn't seem to belong....here's another hint: the chick in the pink sweater didn't get, nor did she understand, the 'computer humor' that was so rampant in the class, yet many students thought the pink sweater chick was hee-larious..)
So fast forward through a few conversations with the advisor and the financial aid office and I am out of the Java class and into another class that doesn't start until Feburary. (See, that's two months past the, to graduate by, date.) (However, also see the class I should have been in to begin with. Again, see an English major + programing class = pink sweater girl adding up how many weeks she has left in the class while the instructor drones on....and on...and on....and on..8, she has (had) eight weeks left.)
The financial aid office, tells me I am all outta fundage, but it wouldn't matter if I did have fundage left cause I would only be taking the one class and they wouldn't pay for it as I wouldn't be at least half-time.
The class that starts in Feburary is on the main campus i.e.: the cross country trek than takes an hour one way and is 80 miles round trip.
As there is no fundage I will have to pay $1k+ out of my own pocket for the class and the books. (As it's a nice private college where I be gettin' all of my kanawledge from. I think it has been money well spent.)

This the part where I tell you about my plans for myself in May: As a, I-totally-kick-ass-and-I- did-four-years-of-college-in-about-two-years-and-I'm-so-awesome-in-all-my-fabulousness-I- think-I-deserve-a-graduation-present-as-I-haven't-had-a-trip-or-a-vacation-in-eons-at-this- point, trip. Hmm, where should we send PG, where oh, where?? Hey, I've always wanted to go to Greece. Yeah, I think I'll go to Greece. A nice little 12 days cruise to the Greek Isle and the thought of all those Grecian men just made me sweaty with orgasmic anticipation. So, yah me!

I'd started saving up for the trip about a month or so ago and all the money from a part-time job gig (yeah, I forgot to mention, I'm also working a part-time gig on top of the full-time gig and the 16 credits and all) was going into a jar marked: 'Greece fund.' It's not a fancy jar, but hey, it was my fundage jar and I loved it. I even made a cute, funny, witty, and whimsical (can something be witty and whimsical?) jar for work. I made $9.21 from my witty and whimsical work, 'send me to Greece' fundage jar, before I was told it wasn't appropriate. Funny, but not appropriate. (whatev.)
Well, I'm just guessing, just pulling it out of my ass really, (are you ever amazed by what people pull out of their asses? You know what would impress me if it came out of an ass? A bowling trophy. Now that would be impressive my dear readers. Painful, but impressive.) that the funadge for Greece, yeah it's now going to go to that class. I'm also just going to pull out of my ass (...and a goat. If a person pulled a goat out of their ass. A goat named Billy and it needs to be 'bah-haing' when it comes out. Yep, a white/gray-ish (is it grey or gray, never know, and what's the difference? Ump, there's that kanoawledge at work again..) goat named, Billy. Wow, that'd be good TV right there I'd almost pay money for the psychotherapy that would come from something like that) that the trip won't happen at all. (I realize that a trip like that costs more than $1,000, however, trying to scrounge any and all loose fundage only to have $1,000 of said fundage taken away...might as well be trying to sell an ass covered goat eating a smelly bowling trophy to recover the loss.)

So, a short recap:
Not graduating in December.
Out $1k+ for the Java class that I dropped, plus the paper-weight, aka book, gas and time.
Will be paying $1k+ for the class I should have been in the first place, plus book.
I'll be taking the $1k+ from the fundage that I was going to treat myself for a much needed and deserved trip to Greece for said class, book, and cross country trec twice a week.
There won't be any Grecian men in my near future.
Might be, better be, (soon) (very, very soon) sweaty orgasms in my future.
Unless I am suddenly hit in the head with an ass covered bowling trophy and a goat I will graduate with high honors.
I would pay money to see someone pull a bowling trophy and a goat out of their ass.

All of that was before noon.

...and I was tir'd. Not tired, but tir'd. (There is a difference. It's like poor and po. In the latter one a person is so po, they can't even afford the 'r'.)

After noon, I'll say, around 12:30-ish or so, I was told by my girlfriend that she cheated on her husband with a girlfriend and she received another speeding ticket costing her $177. (Neither are actually related to the other one. I mean, she didn't get the ticket as a result of the tickle me clit, just how she told me the events.) I told her, perhaps hypocritically, (sure, it's a word. More of that kanowledge.) that girl on girl is not the same as girl on guy. Then she said it was a threesome
..um, well, ah, well, um....
I finaly told her I lived in a glass house and didn't believe in throwing stones and she can always tell me anything cause, yeah, that whole, 'don't judge and glass house thing' I so firmly believe in.
By the time I left work I found out it wasn't just a one time only thing...

who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Both in her story and my life....

I feel like I'm forgetting something..

God, my ass hurts.

Huh, how'd my bowling trophy get up there...

and a goat!...what the...


Tom Serafini, Actor to the Stars! said...

Um...I...yeah, I'm speechless. You got me.

puerileuwaite said...

But what about my dream of wandering through Greece with you as we learn Java together amid the ruins?

What about wondering if the Greek men are more interested in you or yours truly?

What about having our own Hellaciously Hellenic threesomes with or without the occasional goat or two?

What about collecting trophies (to be proudly displayed in the foyer of our glass house) and speeding tickets as we zig-zag from one bowling league night to the next?

What about the change that you keep in a jar by the door? Who is it for?

GirlGoyle said...

Wow...you need some sleep!! You had me bouncing off walls on this one. I so hear you on the Java class being sucky and painful. As for the trip to Greece...well it is a grand idea but, once you have a job that pays the big bucks and gives you 2 weeks vacation you'll be able to go and even have the spending money for Greekboy lapdances and spinakopita.

Reenner said...

I found your blog through posts on Will's blog...I see you are planning a trip to Greece. I have been 5 times and would gladly give you some advice. DON'T do the cruise line. It is a bunch of old people and married couples. I suggest island hopping via a rented sailboat or the very easy ferry system. You can experience a mix of big islands and small ones and see the real Greece. If you want some more info, you can email me through my blog and check out my recent photos from Greece.

SB said...

you could always go to a Greek eatery in town and find a nice lonely guy......hey it's an IDEA!

Oh...I had this girlfriend who also cheated with another women. Told her husband. He didn't mind because he felt like sex with someone of the same gender wasn't REAL sex....(he is not the sharpest guy.)

Hope your week gets better,
And stay away from trophies. ouch.


TrappedInColorado said...

My checkbook is still open... $1k? pfffttt.. pocket change to me. Where do I send it?

Party Girl said...

Mcmeatykins: what? I, Anony Meat, have left you speechless? Hold on,I need to get a pen and paper to write that one down.

Was it the ass covered bowling trophy and goat??? I bet it was. I bet that would do a lot of people in. Even those who are less

P: I can't promise any of those except the Hellaciously Hellenic threesome with a goat or two. That one is totally-baa-baaaa, I mean, do-able.

GG: Sleep is for the weak and uninspired. I am all good and witty and whimsical-like.

Reener: thanks for the advice. I was already thinking of ditching the boat and picking up a back-pack. I am now on plan E. I will keep everyone abreast. (Cause of my boobs...)

SB: Does feta cheese count???

I got the impression that her guilt is quickly fading away.

Trapped: I would set up a pay pal account for that.

But, I might feel cheap and like I'm begging if I do that.

But, if you said it's pocket change, maybe I can be absolved of all the feelings of guilt.
..yeah, but not the beggin part.

but, maybe I don't really care about the beggin part cause $1k is a lotta money to me right now. A lotta money I don't have...

cheap? begging? Hmmm, I might be able to get over those feelings pretty quick.....



Yeah. I'm thinking I could get over the cheap-ness feelings.

TrappedInColorado said...


Party Girl said...

Trapped: I'm over it.

I hope you're not toying with me.

(please, oh please, don't be toying with me)

I will be taking a crash course in how to set up a Pay Pal account.

What about $55k, is that considered pocket change? Cause.. that's my (before 20 years of interest compounded with all kinds of things over my head) of my student loan debt.
Again, I'm not beggin.

That ones a question.

A, just askin' kind of question.

Have I told you how in lust with you I am right now?
I know that's kinda shallow.

I know that's kinda shallow in all things small and big shallow, but I don't care.

I am lustin', baby.
Even if you don't follow through, just the possibility of a follow through is enough to make me drool.

I know, I'm easy.

Easy, in how easy it is to make me happy.
Not easy as in cheap.

(please, follow through.)

TrappedInColorado said...

tapping fingers on desk with left hand... right hand around expensive pen.. whistling... yawning... ok.. there is a catch... we'll talk (and I bet it is not what you think)..