Thursday, January 25, 2007

everyone knows my name

My job has many different qualifications.

However, besides being just an all around remarkable person; it also requires me to be a few other things that are not listed under my job duties.
Psychologist, counselor, bartender, confidant, as I do a lot of listening, and shaking of my head and giving a sympathetic look of understanding. Social butterfly, because I need to check on all of my customers and make sure they are okay. And the latest, and by far the most popular one: back-rubber, ala, massage therapist, to make all of the tension and stress disappear.

I've been told I need to give up the English career and become a personal masseuse. You know, and get paid for it in other ways, like with actual money and stuff.

I just put two people, simultaneously, one male and one female, into moans, groans, and comas. In full view of everyone else. I made it clear that they couldn't file a sexual harassment claim, they asked for it. I was happy to give it. Of course I have slight crushes on both of these people so now I could use a massage, but you know, whatever.


limpy99 said...

I'm trying to figure out how you simultaneously massaged two people to moans and groans and now I can't get up from my desk.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

GirlGoyle said...

Wish you had a crush on me cuz I could use a well done deep tissue massage right about now.

Party Girl said...

limpy: left hand on boy, right had on girl. Dig deep into the tissue, sore muscle and rub. Wait for boy to lower his head and let eyes roll back. Wait for girl to lower her head and eyes to roll back. Let all speech processes end. Let moans and groans begin.

Walk away satisfied.

Girl: No, shit, right?!?!?

Bre said...

You're hired!


limpy99 said...

That's not going to help me get up from this desk.

I didn't say stop!