Wednesday, January 31, 2007

the new profanity

*I want the word "like" to be listed as a profane word. I want it to be banned in all conversation. I want people to be fined if they repeat it more than five times within a sentence. I want a ruler to be provided in my hand, at all times, for me to whack someone upside the head when they repeat the word to the point that I have no idea what their original point was.
I don't want the four-letter word to be allowed into basic and decent conversation. If the word "like" it uttered as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, pronoun, preposition, comma, semi-colon, or a period I want to be allowed to tell the offensive person to shut the hell up and get out of my face.
I want "like" to go back to meaning a feeling. As in, "I really like the new flavor of K-Y Jelly." Not as in, "Like, that new, like, flavor of like, K-Y, like, Jelly? Yeah, I like really like that."

Oh. And up-talking. I want that banned also. Where a person ends everything as a question, or on an "up" note. As in, "Yeah, like, that new K-Y Jelly is like, awesome? I would really like some of that tonight? I would love it if that was by my bedside and rubbed all over when I get home from dinner tonight?

Yeah, I want all of the above rules to apply to them as well.

*This post is a direct result of an actual conversation I had with someone inquiring about a job. Blame them for my frustration.

4 comments:

Old Man Crowder said...

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the times, but I want to know what the hell it is that you do whereby job applicants discuss the new flavour of, like, K-Y Jelly!

Man, have I been missing out!

TrappedInColorado said...

right fucking on sister!!

Party Girl said...

OMC: 1-900 operator, duh.

Trapped:..and bless you, too.

So, what painting do you want?

Swaroop said...

hehe... nice post there...
i actually came to this blog by googling Godel! and
found that someone posted about the frustration of *like* which I wanted to do for ages...