Monday, June 19, 2006

soapbox rant:rape cases in the media and how the women and men are torn apart

I need to get on a soapbox for a second.

So, the Duke rape case. I'm not going to go into whether or not I think the men are guilty. That's not the point of this post. I honestly don't think that is the point of the media-brew-haha around this story either. What I do think and what is getting my panties chaffin' my ass is the fact that, once again, the women in the case are made out to be liars and are being accused of making false statements and once again their background, morals, values and what they have chosen to do for a living have been called into question. (Just to name a few other cases: Preppy Murder Case, Mike Tyson, Kobe Bryant, pick any Kennedy, and on and on and on...)

Once again the woman involved in the case is made to be the victim. Not the victim of rape, but a victim of the media. She is being torn apart. Her statements, her comments, her background, her person is being torn apart. I might add that is seems to be lovingly and joyfully torn apart by the media by all of those involved and not involved in the case.
Again, I don't know who is guilty of what. I wasn't there I'm not going to comment. The only people who really know what happened are the women and the men and I'm sure, as all people do and as all people are individulas; they all have a different take and a different spin on what actually happened and what took place.
However, every 2.5 seconds a women in America is a victim of sexual assult and one in every six women will be a victim of rape in her lifetime. Since the 1970's rape cases have (allegedly) gone down 85%.

I would like to take this time to say, I think these figures are crap. I don't believe rape cases have gone down and I don't believe it is only 1 in 6 women that are raped in their lifetime.
I do believe that rapes are, for the most part, unreported. I do believe the reason rapes have, allegedly, decreased is because women are not reporting them. I would like to say the reason cases are not reported is because women don't think they will be believed. I do think women feel they will be victimized even more by the police, the media, family and friends. I mean, aren't strippers simply asking to be raped? How much did she have to drink and well, she was showing a lot of cleavage, not to mention the short skirt she was wearing, so surely she was simply asking for it. She wanted it, forget about the brusies, black-eyes and screams of, 'no.' She wanted it. She enjoyed it. She asked for it.

So, why aren't women reporting? Why don't women come forth? Why don't women talk about what happened that night? Why don't they go to the hospital to have the exams, the photo shoot, the incredibly intrusive police report filled out?
Because she will be torn apart, she will be made to feel victimized again, she will not be believed, her character will be called into question, she will once again have to defend herself against the media, the men, the aligations, her family, and friends.

Oh, and if she should be willing to do all the above. You know, stand up for what's right, chances are the bag of rape evidence will simply sit on a shelf somewhere and nothing will be done with it. Yes, that's right. Sit on a shelf. Why you ask? Because there isn't enough staff time or money to investigate all of the rape cases that come into an average police station/hospital on an hourly basis. Most rape victims are not aware of this. They are told there wasn't enough evidence to go forward with the investigation. They are not told that the bag of evidence was never even opened.

So, the next time the media wants to jump on a bandwagon when it comes to a juicy news story that has all the jazz and pazzazz to catch headlines, think about it. Take 2.5 seconds to think about and remember that there is a person behind the story. The person has been through enough. That person has already been victimized enough. Stop and fucking think about it for 2.5 seconds before you jump to conclusions about what kind fo headline it will make.

...and off my soapbox.

28 comments:

Joefish said...

heh. When I posted on this you said "I've been trying very hard not to get on a soapbox about this case….or about all rape cases that are national news and the victim is victimized by the person who raped her and also by the news media."

I guess you stopped trying and decided to embrace your inner soap box. :)

TrappedInColorado said...

You speak the truth. I stopped watching the news when the butt-hole in the white house got elected. The media do attack and spread innuendo. Why? Because it is not about news but about dollars and getting people to watch. How do you get them to watch? Attack and innuendo. Get confirmations on something they hear second hand before publishing? Waste of time! If they get it wrong they will either ignore that fact or bury their apology somewhere where no one will hear/see it.
I think you are right about the number of women who have been raped. I know that of the women I date where we get to the point of sharing that type of information - more than half tell me they have been raped. Most were date rapes which brings up another issue. Rape is rape. We should not categorize rapes.

ePixie29 said...

PG said "So, why aren't women reporting? Why don't women come forth? Why don't women talk about what happened that night? Why don't they go to the hospital to have the exams, the photo shoot, the incredibly intrusive police report filled out?"

You answered the question well, but from a personal perspective, I didn't report because no one seemed to want me to. Friends didn't believe me, some still don't, and I didn't think I had done anything up to that point to make them feel that I would lie. My parents would find out, and I know they would not have wanted to believe that about their daughter. Etc.

Now, more than 10 years later, I can think back and I still don't think I would have reported it for all the reasons you mentioned and the ones I did as well. In fact, were something similar to happen today, I'm not sure that I'd report it either. This makes me feel weak - but in reality it's me being honest with myself - something strong people can do. I suppose it would be stronger of me though to think I'd be able to do more about it than just deal.

Thanks for your thoughts today PartyGirl. Soapbox or whatever, people need to hear this.

Egan said...

Good for you for speaking your mind about this. I think this point you bring up gets lost in the shuffle. Thanks for making sure we don't forget about this.

Party Girl said...

Joe: Sometimes she is just screaming to jump up on the box and break loose. After hearing a blurb on the, 'Today,' show about the lastest testimony and how they seemed to be relishing it, I couldn't help myself.

Trapped: To call one, 'date rape,' and one, 'rape' makes it seem less important, scary or meaningful. Thank you for recognizing the difference, which is that there isn't one.

ePixie: Thank you for your bravery and for shareing your story. I don't understand why people choose to blame the person who was raped. I don't understand it at all.

Egan: Thank you for recognizing the importance of this.

betty said...
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betty said...
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Party Girl said...

'betty':
yeah.
Pretty sure you missed the point of that post.

Just gonna pull that one out of my ass. But, pretty sure on that one.

But in support of free speech, I'll keep the comments up.
You're welcome.

Also, went to your blogs. Mmmm, curious. That's all I got on that one.

But, hey, thanks for your thoughts.

sonia said...

I wrote about the same subject (quoting your posts) on my blog.

Party Girl said...

sonia: thank you for your words and for shareing

Jonathan Davis said...
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betty said...
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Party Girl said...
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Jonathan Davis said...
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sonia said...

Jonathan,

You have no business coming on this blog and accusing Party Girl of sexism. She never wrote anything sexist. You, on the other hand, did. She was perfectly justified to delete your earlier comment, which I know, because you re-posted it on my blog. I also wrote this to you earlier...

Party Girl said...

Jonathan: Wow. How you got that I am sexist and I believe in censorship because I chose to delete your comments on MY blog about a post that had to do with media coverage and how women are treated after being raped...and I posted an extremely personal story about my own experience? Wow.

Yeah....good bye. I'm glad you won't be back because there is no place for hatred and ignorance on MY space.


Sonia: Thank you for sticking up for me.

Jonathan Davis said...
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Party Girl said...
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Party Girl said...

Jonathan:

This will be my last comments on this:

If you read my post carefully you will see that I clearly state that I am not taking sides in this case, nor in any other cases.
My stance was on the media. How the media joyfully tears the persons involved in rape cases apart. As a result all people are victimized and no one wins. Least the poor unsuspecting public who si watching the stories unfold.
It was about victims being victimized again through the media.

THAT is what my post was about. The media. It wasn't about if the girl was lying. It wasn't about if the man was lying. The post was about how the media does not care about guilt.

The post was about the media.

Now, for you to post something as you did and then accuse me of censorship and sexism after I wrote about my own story?
Damn straight I deleted your comments. Damn straight.
I felt, as I still do, extremely attacked. I shared a very personal story that I have never shared and then you come back with your comments?
Absolutely will not be tolerated. I did not feel they were appropriate for the post, as they had nothing to do with my post, nor for how I was feeling. That is why your comments and 'Betty's' comments were deleted. Not because I am sexist...you don't know me, you have no right to call me names and hatred and bigotry will not, NOT, be tolerated on MY space.
To say I censored you? Yes, and those above reasons are the reasons why.
Deleted? Damn straight.
Do not attack me.
Do not attack my character.
Do not call me names.
The emotions that I have gone through this week and then to deal with this bullshit and your comments?
Do not come back to my blog.
Do not post here again.
Your statements are not welcomed.
You are not welcomed here.

This is MY space.
This is MY place.
A safe place for me.
I will not have that violated.
I will not have my character torn apart.

Jonathan Davis said...
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Party Girl said...

Jesus fuck.

You tell me you're going away....several times now....yet you keep posting.

What is wrong with that..????

Something about stop invading MY space, yet you do.....

...and then you attack my character, AGAIN.

betty said...
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betty said...
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betty said...
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betty said...
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betty said...

By you not allowing open forum of different views only shows that you lack integrity. Obviously you've learned to behave so irresponsibly by people like Nifong and the stripper/hooker.

betty said...

Why are you hiding the evidence relevant to the DUke false-rape claim from your readers?

Soon they will know that you are unreliable as a source of discussion and information. People will relise that this blog is only a trap for people to listen to only your opinion. If this is the case, you should only talk to yourself.

betty said...

An exchange of ideas and perspectives is a healthy way to discuss issues, but you by only promoting positions that you want to promote is morally and ethically wrong. Please reconsider and try to take the high road. Show some integrity and let people speak.

You can't be right all the time. You're definatley not right now. These boys are innocent victims of a lying stripper/hooker and an unscrupulous DA.

Please consider trying integrity.