Tuesday, June 13, 2006

the bad boy

GirlGoyle had posted a comment about me going after the bad boy.

This was the second time in three days that someone had said this to me. This lead to a, smack me on the ass and call me Shirley, moment.

Sure, the two people who made this comment couldn't be more different. One is an older gay male who I've known for several years. He and I are basically a fag and a hag stand-up improve routine when we're together. GG is a mostly anonymous female of about my same age who lives in an undisclosed location. Sure, I don't know her and she doesn't know me, but hey, the similarities in their statement was uncanny as far as I was concerned and perhaps this needed to be explored further.
While the handprint was still fresh on my ass, I decided to take a moment, while the sting set in, to dive into this.
Into the depths and reaches of my inner most thoughts I delved. What oh, what should I find?
That they're both kinda sorta, but not really right.

Do I find the 'bad boy' to be appealing in some ways? Sure.

Why? Well, because I guess it could be successfully argued while slamming down a few Jager shots and hollering at the bartender to skip the cranberry in my vodka cranberry, that I, as a self-proclaimed party girl who can tell a story with the best of 'em, laughter is my crack cocaine, who is a member of Adam and Eve's super quadruple platinum titanium club, who writes about having sex in an alley, and I can drink most alcoholics who are currently repeating steps 1-12 for the fourth time only to fail yet again, that I could and would be seen as a, 'bad girl,' in most people's eyes.
Bad girl just doesn't have the same ring to it as bad boy, now does it? Sort of a double standard there that I don't really like or care for.
Eh, I'll deal with double standards another day.

So, the bad boy. What I see, call, and consider the bad boy is someone who has a steady job and paycheck, is happy in and with his life, is close to his family, laughter is his crack cocaine, can toss back a few and stay with me when he does, returns all my phone calls and emails in a prompt and timely manner, and is kind and considerate. Likes my family and gets along (for the most part with his.) Doesn't discuss any or all of his ex's every time we get together. He is open, honest, and willing to discuss sex and all of it's possibilities and won't hold me or others in judgment for things past, present, future, or as yet, undisclosed.

What he is not and does not do: He doesn't have a wondering eye, won't cheat on me, doesn't lie to me, doesn't have some secret agenda, won't be a complete and total dumb-ass. However, most importantly, he won't lie to me, he won't lie to me, he won't lie to me and he doesn't have some secret hidden agenda. Or hold one-sided conversations. Cause, that's not really a conversation, now is it? No.

So, basically he is completely unattainable.
He's unattainable because he doesn't exist.
Therefore, because he is unattainable, and most importantly, doesn't exist, he is safe. It won't ever go anywhere.
Not in a drama or trauma sort of way not go anywhere, but in a, it didn't stand a chance from the words, 'let's get naked,' and I am completely aware of this fact even before those words were uttered.

So, really, because I get all pheromone-y around the bad boy it's not going to go anywhere and he is safe that way.

Make sense?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

...Why does my ass have a handprint on it?


Mikey said...

Hi sweetie just wanted to stop by and to let you know the computer is being worked on. All my love Mikey

GirlGoyle said...

Well I am flattered to have been the igniting factor to this post. I'm a bit lost by safe = bad boy. What I meant for bad boy is a non conformist rebel without a cause, jaded by life, out to proove something to someone or himself. The overly macho, rough around the edges who visibly projects an inability to love anyone but himself and the dog. The one you want to teach that a man and a woman can be partners in life and not friends or bed buddies. The one you want to reach out to and say "come with me, I'll show you that life with a partner isn't as bad as you think." Now that I re-read...basically the disfunctional type with a chip on his shoulder. Or at least...that is what seems to be my weakness given my apparent Good Samaritan DNA. Ugh! And by the way...slapping your ass...totally my pleasure! Tho the handprint is not mine as I have 6 fingers. :)

Party Girl said...

Mikey: I am so glad your computer is finally being fixed! Hopefully it will be up and running soon!
Love ya!

GG: No problem what-so-ever!
That's most people's definition of a bad boy. My definition isn't the same.
Really, I guess I don't see the, bad boy as a bad boy. I see him as a man who knows how to go out and have a good time.

Party Girl said...

..to finish my comment:

He's someone who is going to go out and have a good time.
He has a job, but he knows how to party.
He doesn't judge me or those around him for our actions.
He's a free spirt, fun loving party boy. I guess that is more accurate of what I am thinking.
Stays out late, but still gets up every day to go to work.
You know, the male version of me.

What you described is basically my definition of someone who is angsty. The glass half empty, guy.

...and really? Six fingers? Right or left hand?

Mark said...

There is a C/W song -- Ladies love outlaws.. pretty much sums it up.
That's not really that unusual when it is reversed... why are men attracted to women that dress like "sluts"? So, if women are attracted to bad boys, even if its just the look ( I mean most women don't really want to go out with murderers and such); and most men probably don't want to have a relationship with a woman that is a real slut -- but the fantasy is there on both sides.
I do believe that your partner should be compatible with your core beliefs; and if everything else clicks, that's gravy. Oh, and being a good, considerate lover helps, too.

TrappedInColorado said...

OMG! I never knew I was a "bad boy". How fucking unbelievable is that!? PLUS! I am a bad boy with a check book! How fucking great is that?!

Now. What airport should I fly into to take you out for an evening?


GirlGoyle said...

The male version of you...that would be perfect. Let me know when you find him cuz I can't seem to find my balancing act either. As for the schmucks I'm apparently attracted to (bad boys)they are the untameable, never want to be attached, "all women are controlling androids" thinking- type. Yep...that's me forever trying to prove I'm not like the rest. Come with me...I'll rock your world. They don't usually come too close.

Ok..six fingers was a lie. But I do have six toes...maybe. :)

ePixie29 said...

PartyGirl - Again I say, you don't really ask for much!

Good luck finding/keeping the male version of you.

Party Girl said...

Mark: Oh, the country song that can sum up so many of lifes little problems in less than three minutes.

Trapped: Yeah, I don't think my definition fits others when they think of a bad boy.

GG: Most men are waiting for the nagging, complaining and bitching to start with me.
It never does.
I've been told I'm not complicated enough and that I'm too good to be true.
Apparently that was their reasoning beind cheating on me....to complicate things.

ePix: I don't think I do. I'm just a simple girl with a simple wish.