I wasn't naked, I didn't have sex, I drank only a little yet, it was nearly a perfect weekend

...I know! I'm just as shocked as you all are!

Friday, I forgot to go to the store and didn't manage to remember until my stomach was a rumbling and a grumbling. I had one lone can of tuna and a carton of milk that expired sometime in April and not a lot more going on in my cupboards. (Sadly, that's not an exaggeration.) I was trying to decide which greasy pizza joint I should order from when the thought of calling up the parents entered my mind. Maybe they would take me out to eat. Mmm, maybe I should call them. Just as that thought had exited my brain, my phone rang. It was my mom and they were going out to dinner. Really? Wanna take me? Sure, hurry up. We're leaving now. Score!
Free meal and a margarita later.
Some chat time at their house while being attacked by the five-pound holy terror known as, Sadie, the new family dog, I called it a night and came home.

Saturday: Shopping with Mom, down in the new trendy downtown district. A free lunch and some purchases later I came home in the late afternoon. It was hotter than Satan's cock here this weekend and many of my friends had weddings to attend, (poor things.) I watched the William Powell and Myrna Loy movie marathon on TCM and called it a night.
Oh, funny moment of Saturday night. My neck, back, and right arm were hurting due to last week at work. I put on a lot (a lot) of Icy-Hot on my neck, back and right arm. Wow. When they say, 'apply only a thin layer.' They mean it. They aren't a joking. My nipples were rock hard. Rock hard. Now, why and how can Icy-Hot make my nipples hard? I have no idea other than the combination of the hot and cold absolutely surging through my body at a high and intense rate of speed might have had something to do with it. Wow.

Sunday: I did some gardening at my place. I went over to my parents for a BBQ. I made several blenders of margaritas and wondered how my Mom's blender has managed to still blend, chop, and liquefy since she received it for a wedding gift in 1969 in a lovely shade of avocado, yet I've had at least nine in thirteen years. (One of which caught on fire.) Anyway, BBQ, margaritas, and a water balloon fight with the niece and nephew. I've decided C-man looks like a 7-year-old
Kelso and when I called my 13-year-old niece Miss K, Hot Donna, my brother said that was disturbing. I realized he had a point and I went back to calling her, Miss K.
After several hours of sitting in the hot sun and drinking several margaritas, I came home. I exercised to try and burn off some of the BBQ. I called my dad and we actually had a decent conversation.

See, I wasn't naked, I didn't have sex, there wasn't any dancing, I didn't see any of my gays, I didn't spend money I didn't have. If I had done all of those things it would have been a perfect weekend. However, it was a near perfect weekend and I'll settle for that. Near perfect is pretty damn good on a random hot and sweltering summer weekend.