Wednesday, December 21, 2005

oh, super duper more christmas cookies, yah.

I think it's just natural that during this time of year with the holidays, the nose burning booger freezing weather that whether we really are or not, we (I) feel like I am gaining 10 pounds every minute. (second)
First of all, I am single. I live alone. Stop giving me 56 to eat, enjoy, and then feel like barfing up and where I can actually feel my face break-out as I am eating them, sugar cookies.
This also goes for: mint bars, gingerbread men, (rocking horses or variations thereof.) party mix (seriously, salty, worshersire coated, baked cereal? No thanks, keep it. I like my cereal with milk, thanks.) Raspberry butter cookies. (can they be two things?) Brownie Mounds. (Ok, actaully. Give me as many of these as you want to, cause they're my favorite. Little mounds of chocolately chewy brownie goodness) Brown-eyed susans. These will be immediately thrown away as soon as I get home. Seriously, even the Hershey's Kiss will be sacraficed to the garbage. Pumpkin bread, zuccini bread, banana bread. (any and all kinds of bread. Bread is my weakness and I don't need this many fruits and vegtables to choose from when it comes to something to put butter on. Or hell, who am I kidding, just eat.)
Now, I am glad my friends, family and others feel so highly of me and love me and want to feed me. But seriously. I do not, do not, need 286 cookies from each and every person I know. I don't need the temptation. I no longer binge, but forget to purge. Emotional eating is in check. I don't need the winter hybernation padding. I stopped smoking pot in my early 20's. If I was still smoking pot, trust me bring on the sugar cookies. And milk. Cotton mouth and all.
I already spend an hour on the cross-trainer and 20 minutes lifting free-weights. I don't have the time or energy to do any more.
So, please. I beg of you. I plead with you. Stop feeding the single gal. If you want to make her happy take her out for a cocktail. She will love and bless you (and remember you) forever.

6 comments:

MrHinge said...

Crosstrainer and Freeweights. I think it's time you cough up pics of your bod.

Kilt Trip said...

Wow. I'm jealous in a way. It's been quite a bit since I've seen baked goods of that magnitude. But considering how maintaning the waistline is becoming a battle, no, a South American war...I guess I should count my blessings.

Intense said...

The sad thing is I can't stop eating all the crap. Thank god, just a few more days of binge eating. Then I can starve myself for a week or two. How sad.

Pussycat said...

I agree with Duck, let's see 'em.

Party Girl said...

it's a total catch-22. I am glad I am loved, but seriously, one person does not need all that sugar and chocolate.

...on the pics. Sorry. I like be completely anon and you guys can make me whatever you want me to be.

Will said...

Boooo anon