Wednesday, December 28, 2005

sex ed

Ok, I am a little closer to figureing out the money shot thing, but basically I think it boils down to dominance and porn. Porn being the key and being where too many men (and women) have gotten their primary education when it comes to sex. As in, WOW! He cums on her and she seems to love it, I must do this. Perhaps I am supposed to do this.

Now, I watch porn, I own porn, I have masturbated and had sex to porn, I've watched porn with boyfriends, dates and in a room full of male friends where I was the only girl. I get it. I am however, not the target audience when it comes to most porn. Where the porn is targeted to me, it is much hotter and better.

I have watched porn with male friends as an educational tool to show where and when the women are faking it. (seriously, you have to know that almost all of it is faked. (right, you do know this. Please tell me you know this) I don't know of too many women who as soon as his cock is inserted into her pussy she starts moaning all high pitched like instantly. I don't know of too many women who sound like a high pitched porn star when she is cumming. (clue: she's faking it. Which, this brings up another point, men who don't know when their woman is faking it. Clues that she is not faking it: legs are quivering like a bowl full of jelly, she keeps getting wetter and wetter, she is thrashing up off the bed in an uncontrolable way. She is moaning in a low gutteral throaty way, not a high pitched heyena way) (I realize all women are different, however I do believe most follow these simple easy to detect orgasmic clues)

Ok, back to porn as education.

Now, I have certainly learned a lot from porn. Postions. (most should stay in a porn, cause good lord, they're fun at the time, but not the next day. Excuse me while I crane my entire body to speak to you) Techniques for giving head, but mostly my education with porn is in seeing a new position and trying it out.

When you see a man giving a women head, I'm sorry, that's just piss poor technique. You don't sit back and lick, you smash your face in there and lick and nibble and tease all around. (I realize it's for camera angles, but come on, get in there)You grab his head and smash and hold. (excuse me why I go into a sex daydream for a moment)(20 minutes later..and I'm back)

The main problem I have with porn is when the man is on top. He is just pounding her. I hate sex like this. I am not a board, you are not a nail. Do not pound your cock into me as hard and fast as you possibly can. (again, I know some women like this, but I am going to guess it's few who actually do) This is why I will always (always) choose to be on top. I am dominate, I am in control. (Oh, and it goes deep)(and back to sex daydream)(this leads to a conversation on size, which is for another post) The vagina only has feeling up to 4 inches, everything else is lube. The G-spot? Yeah, I can hit it with my finger. Or your finger, it's 3-4 inches inside. No more, no less. No need to pound into me. (Stop pounding into me, I'm going to get a black eye from my boobs)

Basically, porn. Fun to watch, fun to learn some freaky ass postions. Not good for dialog (can't say as I have ever really listened to any of it) Talk to your man and your woman. Figure out what they like and hate. This works with talking dirty during sex. FUCK! YES! Just fucking like that! That's fucking amazing! Don't you dare move from right there! Stay just like that! Oh my god yes! (repeat, repeat, repeat. Upon the threat of death, repeat. Don't you dare move!) Whew! Good boy!! (and back to my sex daydream) (oh hell who am I kidding? Time to crack open the toy chest)


Intense said...

You brought up so many good points. The whole thing with guy on top and pounding the shit out of some girl. one likes that!!! When a guy does that to me I will grab onto his hips so fucking hard and be like what the FUCK.

I must say when I was younger I watched more porn than I do today. Howver, I learned some excellent techniques that I still use today. And the guys love!!!!

I love your blog!!!!!!

Kilt Trip said...

Okay, I don't normally post links in comments, but my roomate sent this to me, and it seriously applies. it's a World of Warcraft video done to a song from a Broadway show called "avenue Q". The song is called "The internet is for porn"...

I agree that porn is a great educational tool, for all the reasons you stated. And you're right...It could be where most men's fascination with facials developed. I suppose that's why I never develpoed this fascination. By them time I was 24, I had watched maybe 6 porn videos in my life. It wasn't until my ex in Arizona that I actually BOUGHT my first video. At her request. But after the first one, the collection slowly grew....

Jay said...

I have pondered for awhile here on how to answer this one.

I watched my first hardcore porn when I was 15, (I'd seen the softcore stuff on Cinemax much earlier, but I'm not counting that here.)

My first impressions were that what I was watching were "the pros". This is what sex is like when you REALLY know what you're doing. At 15, I was an amateur, (Actually, I lost my virginity at 17. To me, too young and it wasn't the best experience. But that's another story.) Porn actors knew everything there was to know about sex.

This reality changed drastically when I turned 19. I was living in California and thought myself to be quite the stud... until I met Karen.

Karen was 28 and with hindsight being 20/20, I'm pretty sure she was just looking for some young cock to fuck around with and teach a thing or two in the process. Everything I knew about sex up to that point was turned on its ear. The first time I had sex with her I nearly passed out. To this day she is, A)The best lay I've ever had, and B)The best blowjob I've ever had. She taught me that porn is, for the most part, utter bullshit. Real people generally don't have the imagination nor the physical accumen to perform as porn stars do. And that's just it. Porn is a performance. It's a fantasy, geared mostly towards men, to stimulate them in a manner that is more exclusive to men, that being from a physical standpoint. Porn geared towards women is SO much more emotionally involved.

I think I've talked long enough here. In short, I don't really get into porn much these days, with the notable exception of Andrew Blake, (Whose work is just so visually stunning,) or BDSM porn. (Which turns me on in many, many ways besides sexually.)

The end. ;P

Ho-Me-G said...

I'm with Jay... it was thanks to some very communicative women that I actually learned how to have sex with a woman. Since that time, porn seems kind of dopey. Few people in porn know what they're doing. They keep looking at the camera to see if the director likes what they're doing. (I tried that, but no one was ever taking pictures...)

What porn did teach me that was valuable was that passion is the most important ingredient to arousal. Those who were into it excited me the most. Passionate, noisy sex was better. So I tried that. Lo and behold, my partner got off on it too!

And Jay, can I have Karen's number?

Party Girl said...

I think being comfortable with who you are and being comfortable telling your mate what you want and what you're into comes with age. (also with how comfortable you are with your mate and they shouldn't be judgemental. As soon as someone becomes judgemental about something, communication goes out the window and it breaks down.) However, yes communication, talking dirty during sex is an easy way to point out what you like and what feels good, or don't like. If a guy is doing something too hard I am going to immediately tell him. It's not benefiting anyone. I am going to hurt like hell the next day and not be happy about it. He is going to think he did something right and keep doing it. No one wins. I am sore and angry and he thinks he is either a stud or confused that I am not getting off. This brings up fakeing it. Seriously, why? Again, it's a lose/lose for everyone. I haven't faked it since high school. I learned my lesson then.

Jay: when I was 25/26-ish I hooked up with an 18 year old. (He was out of school.) and yeah, I'd like to think I taught him a few things. Also, I can't speak for Karen (who by the way, sounds awesome) however, I was just looking for a boy-toy. I think it was a great deal of fun for all.

Unthink: hopefully if you and I and all other women will do this then men will get a clue and stop. (Seriously, it hurts like hell)

Rob: it wouldn't let me download it. (my computer is very slow. Safe to listen to it on low volume when I return to work?

HomeyG: Yes, passion. Passion, lust, emotions

Kilt Trip said...

Only if you work in the afformentioned porn industry, a basement, or soundproof cubicle.

Party Girl said...

Rob: so, as I am in the porn industry I can listen to it.


MrHinge said...

I might be opening a can of worms is Will reads this, but I lived in Japan for 2 years.

Upon inserting your dick in a Japanese girl she would start to moan/cry like there was no tomorrow.

It was definitely a cultural thing cause nearly all of them did it the say way.

Party Girl said...

Duck: that's funny. Did you enjoy it, or did you want to tell them to shut-up?

MrHinge said...

I have to admit, the first time this happened it freaked me out a little, so I stopped. She looked at me like I was crazy (there was a communication barrier), so I continued with the planned course of action, and she started again. I ended up making a game of it, put it in, she makes noise, take it out, she gets silent. It was like an on/off switch, and when I moved back the USA it made me appreciate a good conversation with a woman.