Tuesday, March 21, 2006

email: I think we would be great friends.

So, redbloodedboy doesn’t think a man and a woman can be friends after just one date.

I completely disagree.

If two people have enough in common, personalities match, but for whatever reason there isn’t that; whatever it is that needs to be there to make me want to jump into bed with you and get to know you more, but I would love to keep you in my life in some sort of capacity, but only as friends. Why can't they stay in each other's life as friends?

So, I do the morning after phone call, email, IM, whatever it is that we crazy kids are doing today to show that I would either love to see them, not see them, or just remain friends.
I make the friends request sincere and believable and then I follow it up with another email, phone call, IM or whatever it might have been that I sent, the following day to prove that I do in fact want to be friends.

Now, I can see this. I can understand perhaps were redbloodedboy is coming from. Why, after only one date would a man agree to be my friend? Where is the hidden agenda? They just want to get into bed with me. No way a man would take the time to get to know me just to be friends.

I don’t know.
Maybe.
Maybe not.

Wouldn’t a man want to get to know me without trying to get me into bed?
Wouldn’t he want to be in my life and not simply be trying to get me into bed?
Would a man really invest that much time with someone without the hope of getting laid?
Or is the entire point of his goal and time with me, simply waiting and trying to get me into bed and undressing me with his eyes and not listening to a single word of the witty banter I am spewing forth because all he is thinking is, “I want to see you naked, I want to see you naked, I want to see you naked. I want to have sex with you therefore I am willing to be your, “friend” in the hopes that one day you will really see that I am, in fact, the love of your life. In the mean time I am willing to just see you naked. Oh, hell. Who am I kidding? I totally just want to sleep with you and I am willing to be your, “friend,” in the hopes that that day will be soon. Very, very soon.”

Am I kidding myself?
Are the emails, phone calls, IM’s a total and complete waste of my time and I should simply stop the friend angle and just simply say, “thanks for the free drinks, but I’m not interested?”

...I have 98% male friends.

Sure, several are gay.

However, several are not.

...are they all just simply saying, "I want to see you naked, I want to see you naked, I want to see you naked. I want to have sex with you therefore I am willing to be your, "friend" in the hopes that one day you will really see that I am, in fact, the love of your life. In the mean time I am willing to just see you naked. Oh, hell. Who am I kidding? I totally just want to sleep with you and I am willing to be your, “friend,” in the hopes that that day will be soon. Very, very soon.”

Your thoughts?

6 comments:

Jay said...

Maybe or maybe not. Indeed.


While I do believe that it is possible to be friends after one date, some people you just connect with right away, the question I have is, would you want to?

From my own perspective, I'm the type of guy who keeps my options open. Just as you, my dearest Party Girl, have a majority of male friends, I have a majority of female friends, probably 70/30. Of all the female friends I have, I've slept with around 20% of them. I would sleep with probably 90%, but my friendship with all of my ladies doesn't hinge upon it. I am a big believer in casual sex. Friends with benefits. No strings attached.

To answer your question a different way: there may be a few of your male friends who are doing so in hopes of someday bedding you.

Am I kidding myself?
Are the emails, phone calls, IM’s a total and complete waste of my time and I should simply stop the friend angle and just simply say, “thanks for the free drinks, but I’m not interested?”


No.

If they're friends with you just for possibility of having sex with you, they won't last. Lust is a powerful thing, but only to a point.

One other thing...

I want to see you naked, I want to see you naked, I want to see you naked. I want to have sex with you, not because I believe that I'm the love of your life, but because your words and mind turn me on...

...that and because sex is too much fun not to. ;P

One other thing, part deux...

...regardless of what your inner dork subject is, my outer dork subject will be about pandas.

I'll explain why later. That is all.

Ho-Me-G said...

It's too bad that the two of you can't get together because I imagine you'd just have a great time.

Of course women and men can be just friends. Married couples do this all the time and have no hopes of bedding each other. With singles, options are open, as Jay points out, so there's that tension and sometimes it may play out. But I seldom think that sexing the other is the focal point of the relationship. Unless the guy or gal is just a shallow jerk.

I personally have a very good friend with whom I've never slept and I've seen her in various states of undress and it's just never happened. It's not the goal of our friendship by any means.

I think if she and I did have sex it would make it difficult once either of us moved on to another relationship. I think that's where it gets weird, especially if our partners knew and especially if the sex was great, which it probably would be. But she and I know that we're not right for each other in the big scheme of things for various reasons, and so we abstain. It's choice, and I think it's a smart one. Hers is a friendship I want to keep that won't feel threatening to anyone else.

Party Girl said...

Jay: Of course I would want to after only one date. If I can see that we have a lot in common and the chemistry or whatever you want to call it just isn't there, why not add another friend to my round table?

Also, the male whom I am speaking of he and I are doing the friendship thing rather well at this point and it is only based on one date.
Will it last? Who knows.
Does he have another agenda? I don't think so. We've been honest and upfront with each other. However, I've been wrong before, I could be again. Who knows.
I'll see and you all will hear about it.

Although I have had several booty call or friends with benefits type relationships the current circle of male friends and I are strickly friends and no sex has ever happened. It's been talked about. I've had a few pop wood while I'm talking about one of my sexcapades. However, the most that has happened is when KC tried to convince me to go back to his hotel room. Although I thought about it I knew how quickly that would spread throughout the circle and well, I knew that would simply lead to the, "so when do I get to sleep with you?" and "why does KC get to and not me?"
...so, no.
Based on attraction and a
fun-ness level, I would sleep with just about all of my non-gay male friends. And hell, if I knew it wouldn't be horrible I would even sleep with my gay friends. But c'mon who am I kidding? That ain't gonna happen.

I would love to be naked in front of you and I believe sex with you would simply be too much fun to say no. Therefore I wouldn't pass it up. The conversation alone would be enough foreplay.
Not sayin that's all the foreplay I would need, just sayin it would be a good start.

...and pandas? Interesting.....


Ho-Me-G: I would have to agree. If you're friends with someone and depending on the depth of the friendship sex could simply make it awkward and if it ends, then so does the friendship.

I'm with you. No, to sex with friends. Unless you have that kind of friendship and the conversation is open and honest and you know where it is or isn't going, then hey, why not.
However, if you have a deep friendship with someone then casual sex is more than likely going to ruin the friendship and the realtionship over time.


On a breaking the myth front: I have had several booty call relationships turn into an actual dating relationships which then turned into a friendship. I know. Where's the fairy godmother? But, it's true.

Mikey said...

Yes, I think they can straight or gay. Notice how redbloodedboy hasn't posted a comment...yet.LOLOL

redbloodedboy said...

Oh I responded. You just have to visit my blog to see it!

GirlGoyle said...

Who the hell cares if he wants to see you naked. The best part of it is that you have the knife by the handle...he'll see you naked if you allow it. If not, because you aren't interested, then his only option is to be your friend. Boys will be boys and if they can catch a glimpse they won't turn it down. Yet that doesn't make it a bad thing.