Wednesday, March 15, 2006

excess baggage

I'm all for baggage. Frankly, if you don't have some baggage I won't know how to deal with you.

I mean I have baggage. If I somehow managed to get to the age of almost 32 witout a few pieces of baggage then, yeah, what kind of wholesome boring life have I lead?

I'm okay with a couple of carry-ons with frayed edges.
That type of baggage is perfectly okay. It's when people bring several steamer trunks which require the purchase of an extra ticket. That's the kind of baggage I worry about and can't deal with.

When people haven't dealt with their baggage, yet they expect me to be able to deal and handle it. Ah, yeah. Not gonna happen. You deal with your issues and then come see me.

When people jump from relationship to relationship from bed to bed and aren't taking the time to listen to themselves and figure themselves out.
Sorry, I have a problem with that. I'm not talking about numbers. I don't care at all about numbers. I'm talking about not dealing with whatever it was that went wrong in your last relationship and your now seeking and going into your next relationship.

I don't understand people who can go from one relationship and jump right into another.
I have to wonder, what's so scary about you that you can't be alone? What's so scary about being alone? Alone with yourself. Alone to hear yourself. To figure out who you are. What you like, what you don't like. Who you are. Who you are alone.

I honestly, really truly believe that everyone needs some time off from sex and from dating. Some real, honest, true time off to be alone. By yourself. Time to think, feel, heal, grow, reflect and be introspective.

During that time off you mourn, or drink, or vent, scream, cuss and yell, cry, talk and talk and talk, whatever it is you need to do before dragging me or whomever the unsuspecting suspect is into your drama. Please? Thanks.

I have my own carry-ons. I've dealt with them.
I have issues, but not a subscriptions worth.
I've taken some serious time off in my dating history to listen and get to know myself. It was pretty cool and nothing scary about it. I've learned who I am and why I do what I do. There isn't a lot of mystery about me when it comes to myself. I've listened and I've learned who I am.
And well, I'm pretty fucking fabulous.

4 comments:

Mikey said...

Me too I am "Fab." Over the last year and a half. I have learned to toss the pill boxes and worry about the steamer trunks.

Party Girl said...

yes you are, fab.

Good to hear your dealing with the bigger issues!

You are well on your way to super fab!

Jay said...

"Breaking Up With Yourself" by Andrew Boyd


"The time immediately after a bad relationship is filled with promise. It's as if you've rid yourself of something that was weighing you down and keeping you from reaching your full potential. You feel light and clear and free. But this honeymoon with yourself is short-lived and you're soon in a new relationship fraught with the same old problems. This pattern continues until you finally realize that most of the issues are your own, and that to be truly free, you must break up with yourself.

Doing so is not always easy. You might become nostalgic for the better times you've had with yourself and feel sad to let yourself go. But you must be strong. You must remember the pain and anguish done to you and be ruthless. You must look yourself in the eye and say all those things you've been keeping inside for years. You must dump yourself without remorse or apology, and as you slowly get over yourself, you mustn't call.


I can be my own best ex.

Party Girl said...

Jay: Brilliant, exactly and yes. Be your best ex.